Aloha Dump

I had a thing for Sheryl Crow up until an hour ago. I like her music and she is an attractive woman but her latest eco-friendly suggestion has forced me to reevaluate my fantasy hook up. Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". I just don't know if I can have fantasy sex with a person who only uses one square of tp to wipe. It sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode. To compound her ridiculousness, she is tossing around the idea of make a line of eco friendly napkins in the form of a 'dinner sleeve', thereby saving our landfills of paper napkin products. So I am supposed to go against everything my mother taught me and wipe my BBQ laden mouth on my sleeve? I don't think so. Besides, wouldn't the water and electricity costs associated with cleaning the sleeves prohibit the eco-effectiveness of the sleeve? Maybe we can offset that problem by wiping ...

I haven't commented on the O'Donnell foot-in-mouth syndrome, sans her defeatist battle with The Donald, but her recent garrulous rant on The View has just pushed me over the edge of quiet onlooker disgust. In case you change the channel every time that heifer-loaf appears on the television, and who appropriately puts the "boob" in 'boob tube', claimed that the Iranian kidnapping of the 15 Brit sailors and Marines was a hoax concocted by the U.S. to incite a war with Iran. I'm going to give you an opportunity to read that again. The ridiculousness of this claim gives credence to the nickname that O'Donnell and those like her give to the word loon. I don't mean looney, like the context of the word in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but loon as in the water fowl. If you have ever heard the cry of the loon you will no doubt recall the eerie sound it makes as its call echoes over the lake. Faint, but yet so powerful. The call makes me wonder if God put a permane...