Aloha Dump

September 9, 2005 I have the midwatch now and it is going pretty slow. I had an interesting dream oncoming about zombies. I was beating them down with a tomahawk and a baseball bat. I was really kicking some zombie ass until I was awakened by someone yelling at Zach to get up for his training. Lower level berthing is just too small for people to be yelling like that. I got up about an hour later because I couldn’t fall back asleep. Assholes. We have been underway from Guam a month now. Seems longer. We are running low on yeast so bread and pizza will probably be rationed very soon. How can the cooks be so stupid and not pack 90 days of yeast like they are supposed to? Yeah, rhetorical questions suck, I know. I have noticed throughout my career that the cooks can consistently do a shitty job with little repercussion. The rest of us suffer and it goes unnoticed. Shitbirds. So Hanthorn’s ass zit still hasn’t popped and he won’t stop complaining about it. Woydziak and I offered to la...

Beween the innocence of infancy and the recklessness of maturity comes the unique specimen of humanity known as the Submariner. Submariners can be found in bars, in arguments, in bed, in debt and intoxicated. They like receiving mail, mid month paychecks, nude pin ups, sympathy, complaining and beer. A Submariners secret ambition is to change places with the Captain for just one trip, to own a brewery and to be loved by everyone in the world. A Submariner is a Sir Galahad in a Japanese brothel, a psychoanalyst with Readers Digest on the table, Don Quixote with a discharge note, the savior of mankind with his back teeth awash, Valentino with a fiver in his pocket and democracy personified in a Red Chinese prison cell. A Submariner is a provider in war and a parasite in peace. No one is subjected to abuse, wrongly accused, so often misunderstood by so many as a Submariner. He has the patience of Job, the honesty of a fool and the heaven sent ability to laugh at himself. When he returns h...