Aloha Dump

I can't believe I missed this tidbit of news from a few days ago, but it appears a drone attack has killed Barra-, err Obama bin Laden's son. Not that the chicken shit will miss his son, if he even knew about him, but it is comforting to know Saddam will have another Muslim extremist to chat with while he is burning in Hell and getting pineapples rammed up his ass every 15 minutes. I am just waiting on Obama (our President) to apologize. I am surprised this was even allowed to happen under the President's watch considering he made the comment that "victory" is not the goal in Afghanistan . Am I the only one who missed this recent bit of news? Usually the deaths of the bad guys are splattered all over the news. Come to think of it, since Obama took office the death of the good guys don't seem to make it in the news as much as before the election. I hate to say it, considering I really wanted this new President to turn this country around, but he is a tool. I kn...

In honor of the 40th anniversary of the first Moon landing. We are the first and only country to land on our only Moon. Go fuck yourself Russia!

Joe Dirt: So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis? Kicking Wing: No. Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers? Kicking Wing: No, I don't. Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser? Kicking Wing: No... because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like. Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it's not what you like, it's the consumer.

Is is just me or is Dora the Explorer the unholy apex of bilingual appeasement? My 3 year old watches this show and it gives me a headche when it is over. I actually feel dumber for having sat through 30 minutes of this bullshit. I have never liked this show. Somehow it rubs me the wrong way, like it is clumsily trying to hide a clandestine mission of entertaining illegal immigrant children or, trying to get English speaking children to learn bits of Spanish so they will be able to communicate with the majority of the population in the U.S. in 10 years. Another thing I don't like is the way she shits all over the fox, Swiper. Anytime this thing somes around she tells the viewers to say "NO! NO! NO SWIPING!". Fuck you, you intolerant little bitch. I can't help but to think that this has contributed in some small way to my daughter's pseudo bitchiness. Or perhaps it was just passed down from her mother. (j/k sweetie) I get it; I get that the show's intent is to ...