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April 28, 2007

Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.

MIDDLE EAST—With the Iraq war in its fifth year, the war in Afghanistan in its sixth, and conflict between Israel and the rest of the region continuing unabated for more than half a century, intelligence sources are warning that a new wave of violence in the Middle East may soon blah blah blah, etc. etc., you know the rest.

Yet another act of violence in response to something else terrible that occurred in, oh, let's say Basra.

"Tensions in the region are extremely high," said U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker, who added the same old same old while answering reporters' questions. "We're disappointed by the events of the last few months, but we're confident that we're about to [yakety yakety yak]."

The U.N. has issued a strongly worded whatever denouncing someone or something presumably having to do with the vicious explosive things that raged across this, or shattered the predawn calm of that, or ripped suddenly through the other, killing umpteen innocent civilians in a Jerusalem bus or Beirut discotheque or Fallujah mosque or whatever it was this time.

Either a car bomb killed people or a car hit a roadside bomb, killing people.

In the aftermath of a whole series of incidents, there have also been troubling reports of just fill in the blanks. Middle East experts say the still somehow worsening situation has inflamed age-old sectarian tensions between the Sunnis, Shiites, Semites, Kurds, Turks, Saudis, Persians, Wahhabis, radicals, extremists, Baathists, mullahs, clerics, et al, which is likely to lead to more gurgle-gurgle over the coming weeks and months.

A certain number of U.S. troops were also killed somewhere in some tragic fashion, while a much greater number were wounded. Meanwhile, impoverished or oppressed supporters of whichever faction carried out the attack or ambush probably celebrated, angering an angry U.S. public that is already angry. Locals are calling for an investigation into excessive force or outright corruption by military or political officials on one of the 15 sides of the various conflicts, although the implicated party has categorically denied wrongdoing, just like they always do, without fail, every time this happens, which is daily, it seems.

And in Afghanistan, the Taliban.

In Israel, Palestinians and Israelis escalated tensions and so on and so on ad infinitum, ad eternum, and some say, ad absurdum, and although Hamas released a statement condemning Israeli forces for the resulting civilian deaths, Israeli officials say the teens were armed with rocket launchers, though it doesn't really matter.

Also, Ahmadinejad, Iran's nuclear program, bin Laden at large, Moqtada al-Sadr, Moqtada al-Sadr's militia, Fallujah, renegade mullahs, embedded and/or beheaded journalists, oil revenues, stockpiles of former Soviet armaments, freedom, racism, Halliburton, women's role in Islamic society, the Quran, withdrawing troops, economic disparities, Sikhs, Pakistanis, oil, rebuilding, stories of hope, the Saudi royal family, the Holy Land, insurgents, and the tragedy of Sept. 11th.

In an attempt to increase public support of whatever the fuck it is he thinks he's doing, President Bush trotted out the same old whoop-de-do you've heard over and over at a solemn-yet-resolute speech attended by soldiers, or religious leaders, or firemen, or some mix of ethnic-looking people from one of those countries.

"We have to give this plan time to wop bop a loo bop, a wop bam boom, ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang," President Bush may as well have said. "May God [help/bless/save] the United States of America."

Shamelessly stolen from The Onion

April 25, 2007

Hillary's Identity Crisis

I recall a memory from my first boat when I watched a white guy desperately trying to fit in with 4 black guys that were shooting the breeze in the torpedo room. The black guys were laughing at something and this kid was saying, over and over, "I dih-int say nuh-in" until someone acknowledged his remark- which never happened. It was one of those moments when I wondered if that kid knew how ridiculous he sounded and just how much of his self esteem could be found in the middle level head shitter.

On a similar parallel, I think Hillary Clinton is just as ridiculous. She has been so desperately trying to capture the black vote that it is difficult to know what mask she will be wearing from one photo op to the next. Does she think by forcing a shallow and artificial southern drawl that she is connecting with her audience? I am constantly amazed at her ambitious attempt to get the party nomination no matter what the costs. Then again, she learned from the best.

The incident I am referring to happened last week when she made this comment:
"We have ta reform our government. The abuses that have gone on in the last six years — I don’ think we know the half of it yet. You know, when I walk into the Oval Office in January of 2009, I’m afraid I’m gonna lift up the rug and I’m goin’ to see so much stuff uh-nder thar … You know, what is it about us always havin’ to clean up after people? … But this is not just going to be pickin’ up socks off the floor. This is going to be cleanin’ up the government."
What? She has the audacity to mention the potential dirt under Bush's rug when it had to be steam cleaned on a weekly basis when Bill was in office? You cannot grasp the full measure of the ridiculousness of her quote unless you actually hear her say it. It sounds like a really bad impression of David Letterman impersonating Carrot Top impersonating Oprah.

And Al Sharpton and his shadow, Jesse Jackson, are all smiles. Not a word. Could you imagine their outrage if John McCain broke out into some Chris Rock stand up? It would make the bullying of Imus look like a middle school atomic wedgie. We already had our first black president and he hit his 2-term limit in 2000.

Michelle Malkin has a good summary of how this last stunt of Hillary's will probably add to her political demise. This latest social faux pas will be just one more nail in her coffin. Michelle calls it "strike three" and sums up Hillary's first two swings here.

Lost: There I am

Here are some screen shots of my second shooting of Lost. I'm the guy with the short hair and white robe.

April 24, 2007

Catholicism puts limbo on back burner

After several years of study, the Vatican's International Theological Commission said there are good reasons to hope that babies who die without being baptized go to heaven.
Really? It seems kind of odd to backtrack on a few hundred years of dogma.
Unbaptized babies now have a fighting chance to enter the pearly gates but the Church was careful not to say that they were wrong about it.
The commission's document said salvation for unbaptized babies who die was becoming an urgent pastoral question, in part because their number is greatly increasing. Many infants today are born to parents who are not practicing Catholics, and many others are the unborn victims of abortion, it said.
So, to make us feel feel better about aborted babies and increased baby death, the ITC decides to make limbo not such a big deal?

I am corrected in this next paragraph, specifically that limbo is not official dogma:
Limbo has never been defined as church dogma and is not mentioned in the current Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states simply that unbaptized infants are entrusted to God's mercy.
So it isn't an official piece of dogma concerning limbo- however,
limbo has long been regarded as the common teaching of the church.
So, it's taught on the down-low so thte church cannot be held responsible for this 'feel-good' optimism.

I find it curious that in the 5th century, St. Augustine concluded that
infants who die without baptism were consigned to hell
. But, in 800 years,
theologians referred to the "limbo of infants" as a place where unbaptized babies were deprived of the vision of God, but did not suffer because they did not know what they were deprived of.

Since the Roman Catholic Church is imbued with the Holy Spirit, then it can never be wrong. So, does this backtracking count? Will the Church backtrack on some other issues in the future?

April 23, 2007

Nothing to Crow about

I had a thing for Sheryl Crow up until an hour ago. I like her music and she is an attractive woman but her latest eco-friendly suggestion has forced me to reevaluate my fantasy hook up. Crow has suggested using
"only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".
I just don't know if I can have fantasy sex with a person who only uses one square of tp to wipe. It sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode.

To compound her ridiculousness, she is tossing around the idea of make a line of eco friendly napkins in the form of a 'dinner sleeve', thereby saving our landfills of paper napkin products. So I am supposed to go against everything my mother taught me and wipe my BBQ laden mouth on my sleeve? I don't think so. Besides, wouldn't the water and electricity costs associated with cleaning the sleeves prohibit the eco-effectiveness of the sleeve?

Maybe we can offset that problem by wiping our asses on the sleeve too. While not a fan of Rosie O'Donnell, her comment concerning the toilet paper limit made me laugh when she said, "Have you seen my ass?"

After these latest developements, and her short fling with guitar wizard Eric Clapton (despite his old man balls), I just can't have Sheryl Crow on my Fantasy hook up list. Recent pictures of her also suggest she has either a diet consisting soley of tofu or that she is a heroin addict.

Maybe this is just a sign that I am growing as a person...

More Crow insanity

April 19, 2007


An elipses is well known to the gamer community- it means I have nothing to say but want you to know it. That is pretty much how I feel about this week.

I haven't been posting lately because of my work load and job hunt. This week has been traumatic on the scale of newsworthy events and I have been blogging, but only in the capacity of leaving comments on two other blogs. I have exhausted the topic of the VA Tech shootings and frankly, I just don't want to talk about it anymore.

Here are the links and I apologize for my laziness.

OpinionNation's analysis of the VT shootings

BiG Lizard: Fighting Back

April 12, 2007

Transformers movie design leaked, 30-something's nipples become erect

I remember the Transformer cartoons when I was younger, maybe 8th grade time frame, although it was my brother Chris that had all the metal toys. I never got into the history of the alien robots turned earthly vehicles but it was entertaining to watch and even more so to try and change the toys back and forth from thier 2 forms.

I saw previews of the new movie when I went to see 300 and I have to admit it does look like a good movie, even if the plot sucks and just consists of showing the robots changing forms. The few trailers I've seen show a great mix of special effects and editing.

A friend of mine passed on a link that shows some leaked photos and movie designs of the robots. I am certainly no expert on the Deceptacon/Autobot lore but I do remember enough to know that the leader of the Deceptacons was a huge gun and not an alien jet that he portrays in the movie. Another example of creative license is Bumblebee's new form- not the perky little VW Bug he was in the cartoon but a 1974 Camaro (not a bad upgrade IMO).

My ignorance of Transformer culture was brought to fruition this morning when we were looking at the website of the movie and i casually asked why these robots, who were from another planet, would turn themselves into vehicles with an area for human passengers when there were no humans on the robot planet. I was quickly rebuked by someone who clearly knows more about the cartoon and was told that when the robots came to earth each faction landed in a different area of the world and changed their forms to fit in. The Autobots landed in a metroploitan area where vehicles were everywhere and the Deceptacons landed near a military base and both changed their shapes according to what they saw. Fair enough. I guess I have some research to do before I take my 4 year old to go see it.

I have one more substance observation about Megatron, leader of the Deceptacons, whose only claim to fame was that he could change himself into a BFG (those of you who played DOOM will know what this means). Why did this qualify him to lead his faction? He transformed into his gun then someone else had to pick him up off the ground before pelting the Autobots. It seems like a very limiting characteristic of someone who is supposed to rule the Earth.

Oh, here is the link: Transformer Leak

April 6, 2007

Rosie O'Donnell can suck it

I haven't commented on the O'Donnell foot-in-mouth syndrome, sans her defeatist battle with The Donald, but her recent garrulous rant on The View has just pushed me over the edge of quiet onlooker disgust.

In case you change the channel every time that heifer-loaf appears on the television, and who appropriately puts the "boob" in 'boob tube', claimed that the Iranian kidnapping of the 15 Brit sailors and Marines was a hoax concocted by the U.S. to incite a war with Iran.

I'm going to give you an opportunity to read that again.

The ridiculousness of this claim gives credence to the nickname that O'Donnell and those like her give to the word loon. I don't mean looney, like the context of the word in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but loon as in the water fowl. If you have ever heard the cry of the loon you will no doubt recall the eerie sound it makes as its call echoes over the lake. Faint, but yet so powerful. The call makes me wonder if God put a permanent sadness in its voice to make humans feel better about their own lives. I think the same goes for the people we associate with the loons on the Left. O'Donnel's rants are faint but powerful as they attract only other loons.

One only needs to do a quick Internet search of O'Donnel to find more idiotic statements. I think that Barbara Walters couldn't fire O'Donnell fast enough and I think instead of writing a letter to the producers of the show I will instead send a letter to the sponsors of the show. Increased ratings followed by decreased sponsorship will have much more of an impact on the decision to keep O'Donnell around.

I have to give a hat tip to Falling Panda for the exhaustive list of sponsors of The View. I am bummed that I will have to stop eating M 'n M's for a while but I will suck it up and eat an apple instead.

All Detergent
BAM Power Cleaner
Best Foods Mayonnaise
Bush's Baked Beans
Cottonelle Toilet Tissue
Crest Whitening Rinse
Disney's "Meet the Robinsons"
Dove Ice Cream
Head and Shoulders Shampoo
Honey Bunches of Oats
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Janome Sewing Machines
Loestrin 24
M and M's
Pepto Bismol
Pier 1 Imports
Pillsbury Toaster Strudel
Reach One Ultimate Clean Toothbrush
Scrubbing Bubbles
Stainmaster Carpet
Stanley Steemer
T.J. Maxx
Tide Laundry Detergent
Vaseline Intensive Rescue Body Lotion

Here is a link to Proctor and Gamble: P and G contact

Here is the link to M and M's: M and M Customer Service