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Showing posts from 2010

The New Husband Store

Husband Store: A store that sells new husbands has opened in  Toronto , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the   Husband Store to find a husband. On the   first  floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1  - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2  - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3  - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels comp

Yet another TSA post

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I spent the first part of the morning sending out complaints to TSA- they actually make it very easy to do so and even categorize the complaints for you. Click HERE to send a complaint to a half awake scrub who randomly reviews the incoming emails. I filled out 3 different forms, 2 complaints and 1 security issue. The first complaint was to voice my disdain for the way TSA Agents in Phoenix harassed a woman who tried to have her breast milk go through security without being x-rayed. I think it is stupid to think x-rays will damaged booby milk and make it unsafe for baby consumption, but TSA does make a provision in its security policies to do so. The PHX incident made headlines and is just another example of TSA bullying. Here is the TSA security video of the woman who had already been in the glass cage for 8 minutes. In fact, when she received the tape there were significant portions missing. Despicable. My second complaint was directed at LAX and one TSA agent's unwilli

TSA Extra Safety Measures: Symbolism Over Substance

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The Opt Out movement during the Thanksgiving Day travel was a bust, proving that people will give up a little personal freedom to get through a line quicker. There were no long lines because of people being maliciously compliant with the new TSA security measures, although TSA did flinch a little and shut down many scanners in large airports. This looks staged to me but even if it is legit, I guarantee you the father of these two young girls will change his sign when he sees them getting felt up in front of everyone else in line with their shirts up and panties showing. But hey, he feels good now and that's all that matters.  Personally, I think this whole TSA pat-down policy is a charade, a ruse to perpetuate the perception that the government cares about us when we travel and that these TSA Agents are protecting us from terrorist attacks. I do not discount that having agents and takin goff our shoes and jackets is a good deterrent, but patting down travelers is nonsense. Th

Life in a Jar

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I recently received an email chain from my Grandfather concerning a woman named Irena Sendler who died in May of 2008. She was a Polish Catholic woman who saved more than 2500 children from the Nazi death camps during WWII. In fact, Irena went door to door and talked women into giving up their infants because she knew the impending doom that awaited them. She is known as the Polish Oskar Schindler . The email is true  and Irena's story can be found on the website Life in a Jar: The Irena Sendler Project . The jar will become clear after reading the email that has been circulating since June 2008. There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.  She had an 'ulterior motive'.  She knew what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews (being German). Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sac

Unknown object flying near L.A.

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A mysterious vapor trail was caught on tape Monday night by a CBS helicopter crew. This contrail was about 35 miles off the coast of Los Angeles and it has already dropped off the radar- no pun intended. Tuesday morning the FAA said there were no planes in the area. Military officials were stumped. Correction: they told us they did not know what it was, but that it looked like it came from the water. Take a look at this shot- Really? The Pentagon doesn't know what this is? How about they know what it is but they don't know who shot it? I rode submarines for 20 years and I have seen many shots of submarine launched missiles- even from my own boat. This contrail looks very familiar to me. In fact, "military officials" told Fox News that they are confident the missile shot was not from a foreign military . How conveeeeeeeenient.... I am not a conspiracy theorist by any stretch but sometimes it is fun to dabble in the "What ifs". Hell, I have a zombie inva

Terrorism close to home

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It was quite a spectacle on Thursday as I watched a local mall ablaze . The Galleria Mall is a scant 5 miles away but the plume of black smoke was easily visible from my office window. I was surprised to hear that this fire made national news until I started reading/watching the coverage. You can easily search for many articles and news clips about the fire but here is the short version. The mall was deliberately set on fire by a mentally disturbed 23 year old black man named    Alexander Corney Piggee  . He entered Game Stop wearing the uniform of a thug (a black hoodie) and carrying a backpack. He talked to the employee and then started a fire. The fire was initially  put out by sprinkler systems but firemen could not go in and investigate the area because of a potential bomb threat made by Piggee. It was unknown at the time if the initial fire was set by the homemade incendiary device or by other means. The firemen played it safe and let the police go in and look for Piggee'

Danica K. fumbles on the 1 yard line. No time-outs, 00:00 on the clock

I watched the trials and part of the Fontana Race yesterday. It was in southern California and the trials were, well, trials. When Danica Patrick, returning to NASCAR after moonlighting on the IndyCar circuit for a while, finished in the mid 30's everyone was swinging off her jock. Patrick is not the first female NASCAR driver but it seems to me that she has been thrust into the forefront because of some semi sex appeal qualities. The local afternoon radio DJ's talk nonstop about her, but frankly, I don't see what the big deal is- unless she is using her looks to cover up her hideous racing record.  Case and point, the race yesterday where she qualified 13th, beating out 30 scrubs who should be embarrassed they were beaten by a girl. Not too bad, but then she blew it with only 9 laps to go. Her loss falls into the category of "Rubbing is racing" and her crash is what I call getting "Dale Earnhardted". She wasn't paying attention and gave a litt

Burning down the house

My brother-in-law is a fireman and I can't wait to run this story by him. Imagine that your house is on fire, the fire department refuses to show up and when they do arrive, they put out your neighbors house and then leave- with your house still on fire. This isn't fiction, and it happened in a small town in Obion COunty Tennessee last weekend. I read about it on ThinkProgress.com as I was reading the hatred some people in this country have towards anyone who isn't a liberal. There is more to this story however, and it wasn't very well laid out on TP. The county of Obion does not have a fire department, as voted on by its citizens many years ago. In exchange, they do not pay taxes on that service. Seems crazy, doesn't it? However, the city of South Fulton, just outside Obion County on the Kentucky border, offers fire protection services for a measly $75 a year. Gene Cranick and his wife Paulette declined the services, again, this year and as fate would have it the

Sorry about all that syphillis, Guatemala.

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As the Obama administration continues its World Apology Tour 08-12, Secretary of State Clin-ton formally apologized to the Guatemalan people for human STD experiments that were carried out in 1946. For two years, and with the approval of the Guatemalan government, the U.S. intentionally infected people by offering some sexy time with infected prostitutes. Since it is almost impossible to get men to have consensual sex with prostitutes, these pioneers of disease control decided to send the prostitutes to sexually depraved men in prison and in mental health institutions. What better way to conduct a controlled study! Kathleen Sebelius, the Health and Human Services Secretary, joined in and issued a formal apology to the Central American nation and to Guatemalan residents of the United States. The Guatemalan government was not available for immediate comment, however a former Guatemalan inmate known only as Agador had this to say: "Even though we were intentionally infected it wa

Blind Followers

Here is an excerpt from a Facebook conversation concerning the Matt Lauer's Sept. 27th interview with Obama. A friend of mine was concerned about her toddler's education following the interview- and rightly so. Here is a truncated segment of her post (name have been reduced to intitials) that highlights her posts ( CC ), my responses ( TK ) and a friend of hers ( ML ) who decided to chime in. Authors comments are in italics. CC : Just watched Matt Lauer's interview with President Obama on education. Makes me (remember, I'm a high school teacher) want to home school Collin, as I simply can't trust public schools to educate my child through the years. Sorry for the negativity! But you should watch the interview and decide for yourself. ML : The public school system has been in trouble for a long time. This isn't someting new. Thank you for that insightful observation, Captain Obvious. CC : ML - I haven't been a parent and a professional educator for

Hillary Schemes for 2012

After reading the article about Bill Clinton giving advice to Obama , it is all starting to come together. Late night at their home in New York : Bill :  Hey Hillary. Good to see yo— Hillary : Shut up and sit down. I just got off an 11 hour flight from Jordan and I am in no mood. My ass is killing me. Bill: Sure thing Hillary. What’s up? Hillary:   Look, I just set up an interview for you with Willow Bay from Yahoo news so that you can— Bill:  Yahoo news? Jeezus Hillary, couldn’t you at least get me on The Daily Show? That Jon Stewart loves me and— Hillary: Dammit, Bill. Shut the hell up for 2 seconds. I have a screaming headache from a 3 day trip to the Middle East trying to get the Israelis and Palestinians to stop killing each other, I haven’t showered and I think I had some bad falafel. Bill:   Ok, ok. What do you want me to do this time? Hillary: Look, your chances of being the First Lech are looking pretty good as long as we can keep Obama running in circ

Obama Attempts to Address the Nation

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FROM THE OVAL OFFICE Good evening. It’s an honor to be speaking to you for the first time from the Oval Office. (Silence) Is it . . .  why isn’t it rolling? Thank you for letting me – CAN WE GET THE TELEPROMPTER WORKING??? (Silence) CAN WE GET THE TELEPROMPTER WORKING??? (Silence) OK, let’s just wing it. Thank you, my American fellows, for letting me into your homes, into your hearts, and out of your minds. (Silence) What I mean by that is I want to connect not with your minds, but with your hearts. I want to go mindless for a change. You know, to show you what’s in my heart, my emotions, and that sort of stuff. My deep compassion for the people of the Gulf who have lost all their fish. I mean, like, who have lost their fishing industries. And for the birds and the oily turtles, and so forth. In short, what I want to say is, ‘Message: I care.’ (silence) CAN WE GET THE TELEPROMPTER WORKING??? RAHM?? THIS IS IT. I’M FINISHED WITH YOU. I’M PUTTING AXELROD IN CHARGE!! (silence) I went to

Obama's First Press Conference

President Obama this morning is holding his first press conference in 35 years. Last night, I had a dream about how it would go. I warn you that my dreams always come true, like the one I once had about suddenly being able to eat anything I wanted without gaining weight. Well, actually, that one didn’t come true, and I should never have tried it. But here’s what I drempt last night. The Scene is the East Room of  the White House. President Obama is holding a news conference. Reporter:  Mr. President, despite nearly a trillion dollars in stimulus and other measures, the economy continues to perform poorly. Have your policies failed? Obama:  Not at all. My policies have succeeded. We’re moving in the right direction. Except for the unemployment rate. That’s moving in the wrong direction. But, let me be clear, this is all Bush’s fault, and it continues to be. And it will be. Everyone knows Bush is responsible for the economic crisis, as well as the U.S. loss to Ghana in the World Cup