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December 31, 2009

Attempted Detroit airline bombing plot thickens

It appears that my eagerness for racial profiling at airports really doesn't matter since we can't even rely on people to check the dates on an expired Visa.

The school administrator who arranged for a taxi to take Umar back to the airport told reporters the taxi was the end of their responsibility for the Nigerian who came to Yemen to learn Arabic. To learn Arabic? Of course in hindsight that might have raised some flags but we can't investigate everyone who wants to learn a language heavily reliant on the sounds of phlegm lodged in the back of the throat.

Updating my original post with this new information has further solidified my resolve (from 2001) that we cannot rely on anyone else in the world to look after our interests of national security. Yemen should be punished for allowing this terrorist to leave their country, either by their own negligence or for aiding Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Uh oh, did I just start a conspiracy theory? *Cue intense music. 






December 27, 2009

Not much faith in TSA these days

I bet Tiger Woods is glad the attempted Northwest Airlines flight 253 to Detroit made the headlines- maybe it will take the heat off him for a while. I am a little pissed, however, at the people who let Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab get on the damn plane in the first place. All the signs were there that this extremist lunatic should not be outside a cemetery let alone an airplane.

Let's list them:

1. He was on a terrorist watch list.
2. His own father  warned U.S. officials.
3. He probably looks similar to this asshole who tried to blow up an airplane with a shoe bomb back in 2001.










Richard Reid- Now convicted of 9 charges and Al Qaeda trained. Translation: He will sit in prison for the rest of his life as a drain on our tax system, much like unwed teenage mothers except Reid can't get knocked up when the boys come-a-callin'.

I would like to address the previous points above and why we dodged a bullet with this latest attempt to disrupt the American way of life. First and foremost, that plane landed safely because of the stupidity of a wanna-be terrorist and his subpar bomb making skills (plus a little bit of luck). It was most certainly NOT because of the diligence of the TSA, Homeland Security, and the other agencies who knew of this asshat and LET HIM ON AN AIRPLANE.

Which brings me to my next point: Why was he on a suspected terrorist list but NOT on a No-Fly list? That is similar to a suspected pedophile working at Chuck E. Cheese who is allowed to lock and "clean" the bathrooms with children still in there.

My last point hovers on the politically incorrect process of racial profiling. The NW #253 retarded airline bomber is Nigerian and doesn't really look like Reid, whom I would have had searched and harassed every time he tried to fly (if I was the King of Flight Security). There are pros and cons to racial profiling for airport security and the cons usually fall under the ill "feelings" of the process. I can sympathize with this to some degree.

Most people who come to this country do so because this country rocks. They leave their homelands for a variety of reasons as diverse as the people themselves- freedom of choice, fleeing a festering poop bucket of a country, economic and labor opportunities, etc. I get it, I really do. But we live in a new world where Americans have to balance our freedoms with the restrictions that tighter security brings. 2001 rocked our world but us silly Americans are finally just catching up to the rest of the world that has had to deal with Muslim extremists on a sometimes daily basis.

The antithesis is a broad stroke of sweeping profiling. It is hard to argue with the results of racial profiling and the safety record of countries that do so with respect to their airline safety records. Israeli airline El Al racially profiles like it is going out of style. Are you an Arab between the ages of 17 and 35? Expect to be pulled out of line and frisked to the point of intimacy. El Al hasn't had a hijacking in 30 years; It is hard to argue with those results.

I am all for racial profiling but I am a typical white guy that does not fall into any terrorist profile- it wouldn't affect me if TSA sacked up and started the process. But I do I get angry when my 6 year old son and wife are pulled out for extra screening and the Richard Reid look-a-like passes through unabated, yet another successful security layer peeled away by the politically correct crowd. It would hurt the feelings of 99.9% of the people who were profiled in airport screenings and that .1% risk doesn't justify the extra scrutiny.

So there has to be a balance here in this country and I'm all for it. I get to the airport no less than 2-3 hours so I can be ready for the screening. At this point, that is all we can do- beef up the security screenings and x-rays, install bomb sniffing machines and employ more dogs, grab someone at random and stick 2 fingers into their rectum, tighter checks with security agencies, etc.

Getting back to this latest failed dastardly deed, though, heads should roll and asses should burn. I can't even imagine what would be going on in the media and at TSA, HLS, et al. if the plane actually did blow up. Where is the outrage and the finger pointing? An "attempt" should garner the same reactions as a successfully executed plot to kill Americans on our own soil.

December 24, 2009

Dora the Explorer can suck it. Again.

While listening to the Christmas segment for this show I heard Dora's grating voice talking to Santa. I went to the television when I heard the singing and once again realized how much this show sucks. Up yours Nickelodeon.

Santa Claus is not a Latino and he does not sing Feliz Navidad. He is a fat white guy with Type 2 diabetes and red cheeks. I know this is true because I saw him at the mall.

November 24, 2009

New Mooon gets a full moon from me

Why is is ok for all these horny 30-40 year olds to swoon over the 17 year-old werewolf clown from this pseudo vampire gagger flick but when a man makes a comment about Hanna Montana he is labeled a pervert?

I can't wait to hear how these "werewolves" act, especially since in the Twilight series the "vampires" sparkle like fairies when sunlight touches their skin. I am guessing this Latino wolf pack does the Mexican hat dance during a full moon while decorating themselves with gaudy silver jewelry.





November 21, 2009

Oprah announces retirement: Housewives bleat

Chicago lost the bid for the 2016 Olympics and now they are losing Chicago based show The Oprah Winfrey Show. The one spiritual icon housewives have turned to for the last 24 years for all their news, what to buy, what to wear, who to show pity towards and who to despise and, last but not least, what the fuck book to read.

Any bets on how long it will take the Obama's to comment?

I echo Oprah's feelings toward her show- 25 feels right. I would have liked 25 months and as the show gained traction Oprah's grasp of reality and of the real world started to slip. I do appreciate her strained empathy towards the little people who kept her at the top of the Who's Who Amongst Fat Black Women Making Bank list. Stedman Graham is probably kicking his own nuts at the thought of not trying to tie the knot sooner.

You have 18 months America. Stock up on the bon bons and get that DVR in hot standby- she might be starting the Oprah Winfrey Network. I shit you not. 24/7 of Oprah kissing Tom Cruise's ass, flipping her race card and palling around with Bono and his Red scam.



If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.

November 11, 2009

DC Sniper executed: finally

So long, asshole. Say hi to Saddam for me.

My only regret, much to the despair of capital punishment opposition, is two-fold:

1) It took 7 years to finally execute this human detritus

2) He wasn't beaten to within an inch of his life and then given a slow-drip IV of Clorox. Lethal injection was too mild- an injection of Twinkie filling comes to mind.

People at the execution were showing all kinds of emotion and some just wanted him to take responsibility for his actions and show a little regret. I think that is too much to ask from someone who takes the time to mastermind and carry out a sniping spree. Why did he do it? Because he is a crazy, psychotic fuck head. Most people who carry out these types of crimes fall into this category.

Psychologists and other soft science practitioners will try to find out why people commit senseless crimes like this, but they never will. Social neglect, depression, getting felt up by that creepy Unlce will all be reasons that surface but I don't think any of them are the reason. I honestly believe it has something to do with the evil that penetrates a lost soul and consumes them.  

November 5, 2009

Battle for Milkquarious

This 20 minute mini movie is a great ad for milk. Yep, milk. Dude reminds me of Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Click on the title to get to the link.




...

November 4, 2009

Ban DVD players in car consoles

I debated on whether to commemorate this day by showing all the things Obama promised us a year ago when he took office or by writing about the jackass I followed today with a console DVD player in his car. I went with the latter only because it is just too easy to show how much of a turd this president has turned out to be.

I rolled up behind a small car tonight on my way home and, since the new time change now has my evening commute in the dark, it was very easy to see the movie playing in this guy's car- on his front dash console. Because of the narrow road and the logging trucks next to me I could not get around this car and had to wait at every light until he realized the signal had turned green and we could all proceed. I started thinking about that in excessive detail: 20+ people had to wait to proceed through the light until this douche weasel took the time to look up from watching a movie in his car.

Not only was it frustrating at the lights but he was also weaving in his lane, frequently crossing into the other. What movie was he watching, you ask? No, not some B grade porno that the wannabe gang bangers watch in their Expeditions. This ass clown was watching Year One with Jack Black.Year One? That's a movie you catch up on during your commute?

So I make the motion to ban DVD players installed anywhere forward of the drivers seat and I also make a motion to have this new law enforced a lot more than the Hands Free law in CA.


October 18, 2009

Balloon Boy steals Bubble Boy's thunder




I was in Dayton when the Balloon Boy hysteria hit and I just read caught up on the events leading up to today. This is a crock of shit story and I think the parents definitely have something fishy going on. What kind of a sicko launches a Roswell inspired balloon into the air and then tells the world a little boy is inside? Even more disturbing are the people in the balloon's flight path who told reporters they thought they saw something fall out of the carriage- obvious to us now that they were just trying to get their faces on television.


I think the family is hosed. The little kid, whose name is Falcon and should have a soccer ball thrown at his head for his entire Elementary learning recess periods, let the air out of the balloon when he

turned to his dad during a CNN interview Thursday night and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place.
From the mouth of babes. I have as much interest in this story as I had for that little shit Elian Gonzales, whom Falcon resembles somewhat. I have posted their images below for dramatic effect and not to suggest the whole Gonzalez mess was a hoax- just really funny to watch.


If the father of the Balloon Boy looks familiar, and you happen to be bed ridden and make up the audience base of Wife Swap, then you will remember Richard Heene as a guest on another reason to not watch ABC programming. Granted, Heene wasn’t as bat shit crazy as this woman from a few years ago on Trading Spouses. I love watching this video and thinking how much alcohol and drugs this lady and Heene’s kids are going to do later in life.


While researching this lunatic for this post I came across this little video of Heen’s kids in a pussification video. This tard is definitely in the running for this year’s Biggest Asshole Dad Award.  And, another quick Google search reveals a video of Heene from http://www.thepsyiencedetectives.com/ (link no longer works, by the way hmmmmm) of Heene showing irrefutable proof of the existence of Martian life captured by the Mars Rover. What a douche. 


I feel bad, just a little bit, for the kids of this asshat because they will always be known as the kids of that crazy, lying shit head balloon dude. SO buckle up, kids. This ordeal has already taken its toll on little Falcon as he pulled a Bush and puked all over the place on television. You are definitely going to get sick of hearing balloon boy and Falcon Heene in the months to come.





10/23/2009 UPDATE
Confirmed: The  family planned the whole thing. I think a fine and jail time just doesn't compensate for the circus these deranged lunatics caused.

October 11, 2009

Peace Out

Obama recently won the Nobel Peace Prize and the world is patting us on the back while internally Americans are ripping each other apart. The announcement from the Norwegian Nobel Committee caught the media off guard and non stop coverage ensued. There are definitely mixed feelings about the award and frankly, I couldn't care less. That award hit rock bottom for me when Yasser Arafat claimed 1/3 of the honor in 1994. 


There are a few key arguments in the blogosphere that have been made about the award. 


1) Obama was put in for the award less than 2 weeks into his term as president.


I don't know if this is true however, it is plausible. This administration seems like it is building a history of "getting something for not really doing anything". It falls along the same lines as when all the little kids receieve an award instead of just the winners of the soccer game.


2) The NNC is full of left wing socialists so it is no wonder they would vote for one of their kind.


If is true, it also falls in line with the past partisan plugs from the Committee to push global goals. Every time Gore opens his mouth about global warming he gets one. 


3) He hasn't done anything to deserve it.


I read one extreme argument to support this statement from a person who brought up the deaths in Iraq and, more recently, Afghanistan and that these deaths alone should disqualify Obama from the award. Again, if Arafat can get it why not Obama. The common complaints I read on this point revolves around the current state of our economy, the persistent war in the middle east, the continued operation of Gitmo, etc. Granted it has only been 9 months since the man took office but he he has focused on far less important issues, such as political payback, that would be justification to give Nobel Peace Prize to someone else more deserving. Reagan brought down the Iron Curtain for crying out loud. Aren't there any more Mother Theresa's out there?


In my opinion, it is very premature for Obama to receive this honor. Back in the day, people received this award 20-40 years after their accomplishments and many received it posthumously. For my Navy readers, that means "after death". It will be interesting to see what he does with the $1.4M award money.



The Obama supporters were in awe after they heard the news and quickly jumped on any rebuke as a racist, angry, bitter attempt by GOP supporters to totally shit on anything the president does. This does have some credibility especially since Chicago's loss of hosting the 2016 Olympics brought out the neener-neeners from the right-of-center media outlets. I even stuck it to Obama in a post but I did so not because I hate the man but because he is such a sham. However true that might be, he is still our President and we Americans must seem pretty silly to the rest of the world as they read about us, some of whom actually want their president to fail. 


I think the most damning evidence against the true mission of the NNC choice for Obama to take the prize is this statement:
Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics.
That's it? Gee, what was the matter with our international politics before Obama... hmmm... oh yeah- Bush was president and we were a bunch of 'gun toting war mongers' tired of putting up with the World's bullshit. So Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize for essentially not being Bush and for pre-emptive peace? I think it was Woody Allen who said, "90% of Life is just showing up."


Apparently, the NNC's reason to giveObama the award was "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Read that again- his "efforts", not his accomplishments. Remember the little kids? Obama was given a highly prestigious award on what he might accomplish. This is actually a good move for bolstering world peace, or at least the efforts in attaining it.
We'll all be waiting now for him to bring about peace in the Mid-east, completely get out of Iraq, completely disengage from Afghanistan, eradicate nuclear weapons from the earth, prevent the next genocide, convince the Muslim world that we mean them no harm, convince the western world Islam means us no harm, Human rights in China, love between Blacks and whites, etc.

October 9, 2009

US Business model: Lesson in parallel


A very large American manufacturer and its equally large Japanese competitor decided to hold a canoe race down the Detroit River, with the winner securing bragging rights for the following year. Both teams were given 30 days to develop their strategy and prepare their teams to reach peak performance before the race. On the big day, Team Japan won by a mile.

Team America, very discouraged and disappointed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A canoe steering committee of senior managers was formed to investigate the root cause and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that Team Japan had eight people rowing and one person steering, while Team America had eight people steering and one person rowing.

Unsatisfied with the internal conclusions and feeling that a deeper study was in order, Team America's management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. After considerable time and great expense, they advised, of course, that too many people were steering the canoe, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to Team Japan, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering supervisors and one steering manager. They also implemented a new pay-for-performance program that would give the one person rowing the canoe greater incentive to work harder. The program was launched with much fanfare and named "Team High Incentive Canoe Kickoff" (THICK), with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new-technology paddles, canoes and other
equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year, Team Japan won by two miles.

Humiliated, Team America's management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the equipment, and cancelled all capital expenditures for new technology. The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as bonuses, and the following year the racing team was outsourced to India.


October 8, 2009

Tijuana donkey makes left turn at Albuquerque; ends up in Gaza


When you pull in to San Diego, a trip south of the border is a must. I saw many street side "zebras" many years ago during an overnight romp in TJ- poor burros were painted and then laden with boxes of chicklets.

Here is a story about a Gaza zoo who's owners used hair dye and masking tape to turn a donkey into a make shift zebra. WHy would this crazy Palestinian do such a thing? His reasons are twofold:

First:
"The first reason so that the children would see a striped donkey and think zebra and then they might feel like they saw a new animal today."
OK, so you wanted to trick the children and lied by telling them that this abomination is a zebra.

Second:
"The second reason is because it is difficult to get a striped donkey because it is very expensive and all the animals we get we smuggle them inside."
I don't see what the problem is. Hamas has been smuggling firearms, RPG's, mortars, grenades and mines using underground tunnels for decades. Why does't the zoo owner just load up a real zebra with this stuff and use it as a tax write off? The children get their zebra and Hamas gets more ammunition to kill Israeli civilians.

Wait, I have a better idea. You want real zebras in your zoos? Tell Hamas to stop killing Israeli civilians while hiding behind Palestinian children, dick holes!

October 7, 2009

October 4, 2009

U.S. loses 2016 Olympics, America safer

It appears Obama is pretty shaken up about it. I read the decision by the Olympic committee to dump Chicago in the first round. Watching the Obamas try and convince the committee to come to the U.S. was absolutely pathetic. That meeting was supposed to be about money, logistics and convincing the committee that Chicago could handle the swarm of people from around the world, not about having to listen to the First Lady cry like a Homecoming Queen as she brought up her childhood. Lame, lame, lame.

In exceptionally good taste was the avenue in which the Obamas took to deliver their speeches to the 106 member Olympic Committee. The failed trip was paid for by our tax dollars.

I think that the Obamas are quit upset at this failure because it is so 'in their face'- there is no body else to blame but themselves, no scape goat this time. He has failed many times but the media and his aids have always had an excuse to bail him out. Oh, they are all over this one but nobody is buying it. But it gets better- It's Bush's fault! This retarded accusation comes from Chicago's own Rep. Bobby Rush. These Democrats crack me up! I jut wonder when the statute of limitations is going be up for that defense.

My question is this: If Obama can't convince the Olympic Committee with a force of 2 Obamas and an Oprah, how the hell is he going to convince Iran to give up their nukes?

I am glad that Rio got the thumbs up for 2 reasons:

1. Obama has weakened the security of this nation. Chicago would almost certainly have suffered terrorist action.

2. Rio has hotter women than Chicago.

September 27, 2009

Letter to Obama

For some reason I have felt very civic minded the last few weeks and after reading an article on the front page of Yahoo, More school: Obama would curtail summer vacation, I felt that I had to send a letter to the President. Obama has managed to piss off adults with his poorly planned and poorly executed programs over the last 9 months, but now he is going to piss off children, the future voter base of this nation. Personally, however, I agree with his plan.

Here is my letter.

--------------------------------------

Mr President,

Yahoo! recently published an article concerning your ideas to get American children on par in education by lengthening the amount of time they are in school and shortening their summer breaks. I couldn't agree more.

How do you propose to implement this new plan? I live in CA and I have 4 children, 3 of whom are in school. Our schools have no money to pay teachers and the furlough days cut into the education our children receive. In fact, California asked for a loan to help our flailing economy and the Federal Government refused. But California is not the only state that has to slash their educational funds to compensate for the state of the economy. Some school districts in your home state of Hawaii only attend 3 days a week. How can these children in public schools compete with others who attend private schools and attend more days and more hours per week?

Thank you for your time, Mr President.

September 26, 2009

Craigslist forums

If you would like to read some of the most ignorant, uninformed and unmoderated dialogue on the Internet then please, go visit Craigslist Politics forums. I only read the SFO metro and Sacramento boards but I would imagine the rest of the country has just as useless, racist and bigoted posts.

And please, do not respond to these curiosities of natural selection because you will just get even more angry.

Census worker murdered: File under "WTF?"

As I was reading about Obama's testicles finally dropping long enough to tell the anti-American world that they will be on their own from now on, I came across the story of a kindly Census worker, Bill Sparkman, who was found hanged to death in a Kentucky cemetery. How random is that?

The police do not know if Sparkman was going door-to-door for work and came across some ignorant, backwards-ass, inbred hillbillies who misinterpreted Federal Census worker as 'revenuer' and killed him, or if it was perhaps some ignorant, backwards-ass, inbred hillbilly drug users who got scared and killed him. Either of these two scenarios would work as Sparkman had "FED" written in black Sharpie across his chest and his badge was taped to his body.

Judgement Day just can't come quick enough for some people. I hope the culprits are found and made to endure a very lengthy and costly trial courtesy of the American taxpayers. And then, if convicted, made to live the rest of their lives in a prison with a gym, library, workshop and plenty of state funded counselors to rehabilitate these fuck sticks.

That will show them.

September 23, 2009

Study explains the hard life of winter born kids

There has been significant study over the course of many decades trying to figure out why, statistically speaking, children born in the winter months have harder lives than those born in warm months. Believe it or not, it took a couple of economists to shed light on this phenomenon.
Here is the link: The Plight of Winter Babies.

Here is my Reader's Digest Condensed version: Babies concieved in the back seat of a car on Prom night will have shittier lives compared to babies conceived under the covers in a warm bed on a cold winter's night.


Bow chicka mow wow...

To the Gov

Governor Schwarzennegger,

I am writing to show my support and concerns for the Bill 962 that was passed on September 11, but awaits your signature to become law.

I fully support the concept of full identity disclosure when buying ammunition and/or fire arms, however it seems that the law abiding citizens always suffer when strict laws are enforced. Tight restrictions do not seem to affect criminals.

The only issue I have with Bill 962 is the requirement for an employee to have face to face contact with the purchaser for the ammunition.

"Prohibit the retail sale, the offer for sale or the display of handgun ammunition in a manner that allows ammunition to be accessible to a purchaser without assistance of a vendor or employee."

Retail stores like Wal-Mart have the ammunition under glass but small stores and specialized firearm and ammunition retailers have the ammunition on shelves. The face to face contact occurs at the counter when the purchaser pays for the product.

I beleive that the stipulation for vendor or employee assistance is too vague. I can interpret that statement to mean that an employee or vendor must get the ammunition for the purchaser. The smaller specialized retailers will suffer as it will take away an employee just to go get the product. The economy is making things tight and this employee assistance will only stretch the retailers even more.

My 20 years of military service drilled the importance of fire arm safety and security and I am all for it- until the measures become too unreasonable or too blurry for law abiding citizens to comply with.

Thank you for your time.


Here is the email from Cabela's concerning the Bill:

To: Cabela's California Customers
From: Cabela's Communications
Subject: California Assembly Bill 962
Date: Sept. 22, 2009

We are writing to inform you of pending legislation that will restrict purchases of handgun ammunition in California and will terminate our ability to service your needs for certain products.

On Friday, Sept. 11, the California Assembly passed Assembly Bill 962, by a 44-31 vote.

Among other regulations, AB 962 would:


• Ban all mail-order and Internet sales of handgun ammunition.
• Prohibit the retail sale, the offer for sale or the display of handgun ammunition in a
manner that allows ammunition to be accessible to a purchaser without assistance of a
vendor or employee.
• Require that the delivery or transfer of ownership of handgun ammunition occur in a
face-to-face transaction, with the deliverer or transferor being provided bona fide
evidence of identity of the purchaser or other transferee.
That evidence of identity, which must be legibly recorded at the time of delivery, includes:


• The right thumbprint of the purchaser or transferee.
• The date of the sale or other transaction.
• The purchaser's or transferee's driver's license or other identification number and the
state in which it was issued.
• The brand, type and amount of ammunition sold or otherwise transferred.
• The purchaser's or transferee's signature.
• The name of the salesperson who processed the sale or other transaction.
• The purchaser's or transferee's full residential address and telephone number.
• The purchaser's or transferee's date of birth.
The bill is on the desk of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, where it awaits his consideration. He will have until Oct. 11 to sign or veto the bill. If he does not veto the bill, it will become law.

If you wish to comment on AB 962, you may contact Gov. Schwarzenegger by phone at (916) 445-2841, or via fax at (916) 558-3160. To e-mail Gov. Schwarzenegger, visit
http://gov.ca.gov/interact

We encourage all Cabela's customers who participate in the shooting sports to contact Gov. Schwarzenegger to voice their opposition to this initiative, which will limit your opportunities to shop with Cabela's, and will restrict the sale of handgun ammunition everywhere in California.

September 22, 2009

Log Entry: West Pac 2005

September 9, 2005

I have the midwatch now and it is going pretty slow. I had an interesting dream oncoming about zombies. I was beating them down with a tomahawk and a baseball bat. I was really kicking some zombie ass until I was awakened by someone yelling at Zach to get up for his training. Lower level berthing is just too small for people to be yelling like that. I got up about an hour later because I couldn’t fall back asleep. Assholes.

We have been underway from Guam a month now. Seems longer. We are running low on yeast so bread and pizza will probably be rationed very soon. How can the cooks be so stupid and not pack 90 days of yeast like they are supposed to? Yeah, rhetorical questions suck, I know. I have noticed throughout my career that the cooks can consistently do a shitty job with little repercussion. The rest of us suffer and it goes unnoticed. Shitbirds.

So Hanthorn’s ass zit still hasn’t popped and he won’t stop complaining about it. Woydziak and I offered to lance it and Hanthorn said no fucking way. We also offered to take a picture of it so he could see first hand how disgusting it is and he declined. Now he is really embarrassed about it. Pity, because it would really bring a little excitement to an otherwise boring underway. We haven’t even had a King Shit either and that happens pretty quick after eating this food for a few weeks. I finally cut that retarded toenail of mine- it was bugging the shit out of me. How does a toenail start to grow all funky and change color? Dudes are gross.

Ivanisko brought some levity to the section when he told a story that shows just how shitty cooks are in general. On his last boat they ran out of hot dogs on the serving line during chow and everyone had to wait for another batch to finish cooking. When they finally served the hotdogs Ivanisko noticed that they were much smaller than usual. He took the hot dog out of the bun and upon closer inspection noticed a hole at the tip- a hole where a stick used to be. The cooks had stripped down corndogs, pulled the stick out and served them like regular hot dogs. Why the fuck wouldn’t they just serve corndogs? Assclowns.



Our Lame 'by-the-book' Commanding Officer
The USS Louisville suffers a Jules Verne fate because there was not a procedure for dislodging a giant squid from the hull.

September 12, 2009

Obama Race Card played... again

During a televised speech to Congress in which Obama was discussing his new health care reform, South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson yelled out, "You lie!" when Obama stated that illegal immigrants will not be covered by the new plan. I'm glad that Wilson got that off his chest and expressed what millions also feel about this health care joke that this administration is trying to force feed the American public.

Don't get me wrong, the system we have now doesn't suit everyone and thousands have no coverage. People complain about Medicare (health care for people 65 and older) and Medicaid (healthcare for people with low income) and how broke the system is and that something needs to be done quickly before they pull the plug on Grandma. I feel compelled to remind people that Medicare/Medicaid are government programs; if the government has jacked these 2 important programs up then what makes you think the Obama plan will be any better?

Reagan said it best:

Blank

But I digress from the original intent of this post.

Both the GOP and Dems rebuked Wilson for his outburst and an apology was quickly made. McCain, still pissed about his loss last November and fully regretting running with that Alaskan MILFTwit, ran to CNN to avenge the President. Rep. John Clyburn, the House Whip, also went on to say how baaaaaaad it was for Wilson to use the forbidden 3-letter word. Speaking of which, if he is the Whip, why doesn't he just whip the shit out of Wilson and then we can all move on.

Because that would be too easy and groups like the National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA) could not capitalize on this emotionally (not racially) motivated outburst. The African-American newspaper must need a boost to its circulation because it has flipped the Race Card regarding Wilson's outburst. Wilson has already shown a cosmic error in judgement but the statements made by the NNPA only compound the ridiculousness of this Obama oriented event.

Is this an indoctrinated tactic used by people who are so insecure and confused about their stance on an issue that they have to marginalize and attack an anti-Obama statement by calling the opposition racist?

No one in their right mind actually believes calling someone a liar equates to racism. The fact that the accuser is of a different color is irrelevant. I see a parallel to people who use the word "hate crime" as in indiscriminant label to help relieve some sort of inner tension by creating even more tension. After all, aren't all crimes 'hate crimes'?

What really bothers me about the anti Obama suppression by these goons is that by calling an insensitive jackass a racist they start to devalue the word. There are plenty of self proclaimed racists that are probably getting pissed off with all these meaningless and unsubstatiated accusations of racism.
NNPA Chairman Danny J. Bakewell Sr. said. "Rep. Wilson's remarks were racist, disrespectful, and a disingenuous violation -- not only of President Obama -- but to the institution of the presidency and only solidified our position and the importance in not spending black dollars where black people are not respected.
The last statement is in reference to the NNPA's new position to stand with the NAACP's boycott of South Carolina. I agreed with this asshat's comment about Wilson's remarks except for the racism shtick. Unfortunately, he said "racist" at the beginning of this comment and I immediately dismissed everything after as just another black man pissed off at the world. Does that make me racist? No, it makes me an insensitive asshole. Besides, I know that I'm not a racist because I would totally do Hale Berry.

What I find entertaining about the outburst is that it followed Obama's use of the same word Wilson used against him. Time reports,
Just before Wilson's scream, Obama himself had accused his unnamed opponents of offering "a lie, plain and simple."
"Hey Kettle, this is Pot. You're black!" Whoops, I did it again...

Time finished their article with a great spin by revealing something that had not occured to me. Wilson's outburst might actually help the President. Leave it to these Obama Jock Swingers to make a positive out of a negative.
But Wilson's outburst is on far shakier footing, even though the details of enforcement mechanisms for the bill have not been worked out. He was claiming something — benefits for illegal immigrants — that is expressly prohibited in the major legislative efforts in both houses of Congress. He was becoming the sideshow the President wanted to spotlight, and as such Wilson handed a great gift to his political enemies, for whom he clearly has little regard.
Bravo, Ms. Yan. Well played.

The Democrats gave Wilson an ultimatum for his unsolicited truth slinging: Apologize or face punishment. As obscure as it might sound, it is against House rules to call the President a liar. But it wasn't always so mamsy-pansey in American politics. If you recall 7th grade political history you might remember a man named Preston Brooks. From Wikipedia, the cheapest and most entertaining fascist online encyclopedia:
In May 22, 1856, Brooks beat Senator Charles Sumner with his Gutta-percha wood walking cane in the Senate chamber because of a speech Sumner had made three days earlier, criticizing President Franklin Pierce and Southerners who sympathized with the pro-slavery violence in Kansas ("Bleeding Kansas")
Yes, you read that right, he beat the living shit out of a man on the Senate floor. Granted, it wasn't televised and people back then actually had some sack and knew what chivalry meant. Wilson calls Obama a liar and everyone is butt hurt.

Why did NAACP start the boycott in the first place? Because the Confederate flag is flown above the state capitol.
The NAACP boycott has reportedly had mixed results, with some saying it has cut into tourism and affected state beaches, restaurants and motels, among other businesses, and others saying it has only hurt black-owned businesses in the state.
I have mixed feelings about the flag, seeing it as an icon for rednecks to rally under much in the same way as I view people who wear winter wool hats in the summer as confused douchebags. Anyway, good luck with that ban.

In response you NNPA and NAACP boycotting South Carolina, I will boycott these two institutions by withdrawing my subscriptions to Black Men, Ebony, XXL, Afro, African Vibes, African American Golfer's Digest, and Buffie. I will also discontinue watching BET, reruns of What's Happening and anything by Tyler Perry.

September 5, 2009

Seven Bridges Road


I recently acquired an Eagles discography which has every song they did from 1980 to the present. There are a lot of 'best of' albums in the list which bear a lot repetition but I do not mind burning up the disk space.

I was very interested in finding the a cappella song Eagles performed called Seven Bridges Road. To my surprise, it is very hard to find. Wikipedia:
The song was recorded live by Eagles for their Eagles Live album in 1980; the single, b/w a live version of The Long Run, reached #21 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. (A version of this recording remastered for DTS appears as a DTS-only bonus track on the DVD version of Eagles' Hell Freezes Over reunion concert video.) However, Eagles never recorded or released a studio cut of the tune.

"Seven Bridges Road" is the title of a song written by Steve Young that he recorded in 1969 for his Rock Salt & Nails album. The definitive version is the cover recorded by Eagles in 1980 which still receives significant airplay on classic rock stations.

Apparently, it is a real road in Montgopmery, Alabama and Young recalls the significance of the road.
"I lived in Montgomery, Alabama, in the early 60s and had a group of friends there that showed me the road. It led out of town and after you had crossed seven bridges you found yourself out in the country on a dirt road. Spanish Moss hung in the trees and there were old farms with old fences and graveyards and churches and streams. A high-bank dirt road with trees. It seemed like a Disney Fantasy at times. People went there to park or get stoned or just to get away from it all. I thought my friends had made up the name 'Seven Bridges Road.' I found out later that it had been called by that name for over a hundred years. That people had been struck by the beauty of the road for a long time, however, this is not the official name of the road. It is a 'folk name.'

He adds,
I never dreamed that anyone would understand or like this song. I played it for the first time one night in Montgomery and it got a big reaction. I was very surprised and thought it just because it was a local known thing and that was why they liked it.
"It is really not a commercial song. I still don't understand why people like it so much. In 1968 I was recording an album for A&M Records. The producer wanted me to interpret songs. He didn't really want me to do any originals but we ran out of songs and I started singing Seven Bridges.

Ironic isn't it? A song that he was just messing around with ends up being an Eagles hit. This reminds me of the album that Sheryl Crow put out with the song All I Want to Do and how she wasn't going to put it on her album. Her brother said it had a catchy beat and that he thought it was a good tune so she ended up putting it on the label. It ended up being a big hit with her fans.

I think the reason it became such a big hit when Eagles sang it is because, well, they are the freaking Eagles. Rita Coolidge, Joan Baez, Ian Matthews, FireHouse, Ricochet, Dolly Parton, Tracy Nelson, Alan Jackson, and Whiskey Falls have all covered Seven Bridges Road but I don't think they even come close to sounding as good as Frey, Henley, Walsh and Schmit.

So, if you are trying to find this great single, do not check on any albums recorded in a studio. The only place to find it is on an album they recorded in 1980 and on the Hell Freezes Over DVD.

September 2, 2009

Gulf Oil


Apparently, BP has found a billion barrel oil reserve in the Gulf of Mexico. How conveeeeeeeeeeeeeeenient....

West Pac Deployment: Entry 1- Screwed by the Screw

West Pac 1999
USS Los Angeles (SSN 688)
July 1 – December 29, 1999

I found another green flip notebook this weekend affectionately referred to as a pocket brain. I kept a pocket brain with me all the time to keep notes and to jot down ideas etc. I found one from WestPac 1999, a few deployments before I started keeping an actual journal, complete with the obligatory profane statement on the side, “Eat Shit”. After reading the little notebook in its entirety it was no longer a mystery as to why someone wrote it.

We all knew this deployment was doomed when we had to return to port on a Saturday, just 2 days after we cast off all lines and left Pearl Harbor. Let me back up and briefly discuss why leaving on July 1st is a shitty thing to do in the first place, a concept many crew members tried to get across to our sub par Captain. My explanation would have been: “Because 3 days later is Independence Day, asshole.” Leaving so close to July 4th was a metaphorical kick to the crew morale's groin. Cooler heads would agree that is not how you want to start off a 6 month deployment.

King Neptune had other plans for the LA however, and not too long after we reached our dive point, he extended a hand of mercy to our vessel by fouling our screw so badly that it could be heard 30 nautical miles away. For those of you not versed in submarine warfare, that is a bad thing. Picture a ninja wearing size 25 clown shoes with little honking horns on the heels. He won’t be sneaking up on anyone anytime soon.

I was going to have the first midwatch of the deployment and I wanted to catch a little nap before the 2230 (10:30 p.m.) wakeup. When the Messenger called my name I figured I was being racked out prematurely to give someone either a piss break or to take care of someones bullshit.

My Chief was smiling when I entered Sonar and he handed me a pair of headphones connected to the BQA-8, a monitoring device with a hydrophone very close to the screw. Another Sonarman was watching a visual output of the sound that I could already hear coming from the headphones, even though they weren’t on my head. I told my Chief that it sounded like the screw was fucked up and he laughed and said, “Ya think?” The Captain entered Sonar and had a look on his face that said he already knew the outcome of our preliminary sound monitoring- that we were pulling back in to Pearl Harbor. But we couldn’t just immediately pull back in; that would have been too easy and made just too much sense.

STS1 M. was also in Sonar and he asked me how good I was at performing own ship sound cuts with the towed array, grimly hinting that we were going to stay out and perform more noise monitoring. An hour later, to my disdain, we all found out he was right. Squadron decided to keep us out all night and most of the next day for the sound cuts, which concluded that our screw was unsatisfactory and that we needed to pull in for repairs. We ended up mooring mid afternoon on the shipyard side, in close proximity to a crane that could be used to remove the screw, if it indeed came to that extreme. And it did.

We celebrated July 4th made even more enjoyable by the fact that the boat was broken and we were not at sea. Hoping against hope, the repairs were made on time and we were once again casting off all lines and heading to our dive point. We had a lot of time to make up and the International Date Line, our first major milestone, is a formidable distance from Pearl Harbor. The LA headed to Okinawa for a few days, which actually ended up being just an over nighter. We had to race back out to sea the next day for “reasons vital to national security”, almost like we were paying penance for our delayed departure from Pearl Harbor. We had no idea how much penance we would be paying during this deployment.

End of Entry.

August 30, 2009

A short time spent in 1992

I am a pack rat. A big fat sentimental pack rat. Two 60 quart Rubbermaid bins, stacked in my garage and a continuing eye-sore to my wife, are testament to my obsession to save anything with just an ounce of nostalgia- and those bins are just my Navy crap (that I can fit into those bins).

I rummaged around in 2 other bins today to try and locate a network interface card for my new motherboard and failed. I probably threw it out years ago thinking I would never need it. I did come across an old "pocket brain" from my early military career with some interesting tidbits. In the spirit of nostalgic, crusty sea stories, I share its contents with both of my readers.

The first page is a countdown calendar from NorPac 1992. For those of you not hip to Navy lingo a NorPac is a Northern Pacific Special Operation (SpecOp). Yes, I know, the acronyms are unbearable at times. These NorPacs were Pearl to Pearl runs, i.e. no liberty ports, no stops, just leave Pearl Harbor and then return about 8 weeks later or so. This particular run happened early in the year and the run ended a little shorter than most of my SpecOps (only 6 ½ weeks long). It wasn’t until after I flipped a few more pages that I remembered why.

For reasons unknown to me now, I kept track of a lot of insignificant data during my deployments. For example, on this NorPac I took 24 showers and punched the clown 18 times. Again, I do not know why I thought it important to keep track of how many times I masturbated. Yeah, should have given a TMI ALERT a few sentences back.

I was a Second Class and I believe this was the last deployment before we headed to Mare Island Naval Shipyard for our reactor core swap out. I had been on board my first boat a little over 4 years and was pretty senior in the division. In fact, I looked ahead at the schedule in my pocket brain and saw that we had an ORSE just before we went to the shipyard. ORSE is the worst 4-letter word in the submarine force. It is an excruciating inspection that would make Hyman G. Rickover roll over in his grave, and then shit on the faces of all the dweeb nukes that turned his nuclear power program into what it is today.

Having an ORSE so close to our shipyard time never made sense to me anyway. What was Squadron going to do if we failed- keep us from going to sea? It was one of many instances during my career where procedure and paperwork trumped common sense. It was a check mark in some asshole’s yearly planner. I equate a pre-shipyard ORSE to a doctor cleaning the area on an arm with an alcohol swab for someone receiving a lethal injection. What the hell is the point? But I digress.

I wrote down the score of the 1992 Superbowl: Washington – 37, Buffalo – 24. Looks like a pretty good game. I’ll never know because I was underwater and probably got this news from one of the broadcasts. I was also underway for the anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger accident. I was a Junior in high school and in French class when some jackass poked his head in and told us the news. Yeah, that French really came in handy in Asia and Australia.
Here is a short list I made on the NorPac titled Things to do, make, etc…
1. Trail mix
2. Cereal – Honeycomb, Cocoa Puffs, Alpha Bits
3. Bishop Museum, Aquarium
4. Climb Diamond Head
5. Chicken fried steak and macaroni salad
6. Cook lobster dinner
7. Hamburger pie with bacon bits
8. Manicotti and white wine
9. Chili Peppers- Blood, Sex, Sugar
10. The Cult- Ceremony
11. Erasure- Chorus
12. Concrete Blond- Bloodletting
13. Jesus Jones
14. Terri Weigal- Star/Inferno
15. Sisters of Mercy- Floodland
16. Sting- Fortress around your heart
17. Cribbage board
18. Nachos

I am going to guess that the food on that run was not that great and that my selection in music was severely influenced by people in my underway watch section.

I also watched a lot of movies this run. I love underway movies because it is a great way to kill a few hours and get that much closer to going home. It was rare to be able to actually watch a whole movie without have to run up to Sonar for a piss break or to help divert another mini crisis. Here is my movie list in viewing order:

1. Terminator 2
2. Dutch
3. Ford Fairlane
4. Silence of the Lambs
5. Flashback
6. Object of Beauty
7. Postcards from the Edge
8. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
9. All the Right Moves
10. Stone Cold
11. Marrying Man
12. Toy Soldiers
13. K-9
14. The Short List
15. The 5 Heartbeats

I honestly cannot remember what half of those movies are about.

I also had a page of blonde jokes, which are really old and I will intentionally omit from this post, 2 pages of the schedule for the rest of the year and what appears to be some vocabulary words.

Aplomb- self confidence; poise
Endorphin- a group of hormones secreted by the brain that cause a tranquilizing or pain killing effect.
Husbandman- one who cultivates and raises crops; farmer
Apropos- ironic, relating to a story

I don’t know what the hell I was reading that underway to give me that list of words or why I wrote them down. They don’t really come up in conversation and I have tried for the last 5 minutes to use all of them in the same sentence.

The last thing that I will share is a small wish list on the last page of my entries for that underway.
1. Saling lessons
2. scuba lessons
3. motorcycle
4. truck
5. 4 wheeler for California
6. A BIGGER DICK for Pat’s mouth
7. Rollerblades- The Bike Shop, Kapiolani, 7-11 on right.

I feel that I have to explain #6. The entry in bold letters were from a rider, Pat, who got a hold of my pocket brain when I left the sonar room to take something to the Control Room. Someone else in Sonar added the next piece to the entry. Coincidentally, Pat also drew the LA personified as a blind helpless boat, an apropos icon to wrap up the wasted time we all spent on that miserable spec op in the Northern Pacific.






August 26, 2009

The Lion Roars No More


Senator Edward Kennedy from Massachusetts passed today from brain cancer, the first Kennedy in a while to actually die from natural causes, and I have mixed feelings about his passing. I really tried to like the guy over the last few decades but there was just something about him that I could never really warm up to.

It isn’t the fact that he hauled ass from his car accident in 1969, leaving his mistress for dead. That happened a few months before my birth and when the Apollo astronauts were on their way to the Moon, or in the middle of filming the event if you are a conspiracy theorist douche. It is reprehensible that he got off solely because he is a Kennedy, but having a powerful last name and a shitload of money has always been the “Get out of Jail Free” card.

I checked his voting record and although he has missed 97% of the votes in the current Congress he pretty much voted along party lines most of his career. The last time he voted was 4/2/2009 and he has only casted 8 votes this year. I think that voting record is appalling and would elevate him to douche bag status if it weren’t for the fact that he was in such poor physical condition. Still, he missed a lot of votes and I just went back to the middle of 2007, long before his brain tumor was discovered (May, 2008). Kudos to him for getting his fat ass out of bed to make a speech at the 2008 DNC to give his support for Obama.

For the record, I do cling to the old fashioned belief that politicians are put in office to serve and part of their service is voting on things that will make our lives better or protect us from someone else’s bullshit. I am sure there are other politicians who have similarly shitty voting records but they are not prominent dead leaders of their party, and therefore I have not had the inclination to research their records.


Looking back on Ted’s life as a politician I can only say that whatever good he could/did/should have done was overshadowed by his personal life. He was a contentious drunk and I recall seeing his rosy red cheeks on many occasions. We had a saying in the Navy that went, “One ‘oh shit’ will wipe out 100 attaboys”. So true with Ted over the years.


James Quinn summed up his feelings on Ted's passing:
He killed a woman, leaving her to die in his car and not reporting it. He was a drunk. He divorced his wife. He was a Catholic that supported abortion. He spent taxpayer money on the welfare state like no Senator in history. He helped cover up a rape by his nephew. He began the scorched earth policy of nominees for the Supreme Court with his lies during the Bork nomination. He was a small man who spent your money like a drunken sailor. Without his Kennedy connections, he would have been a nobody. His life was one of decadence and failure.
See? Most of it from Ted’s personal life.

I am not in the habit of mourning crusty, drunken, douche bag career politicians and I will not start with Ted Kennedy. But I can bring forth enough civility to send my condolences to his family.

Rest in peace, butt hole.

August 24, 2009

Neighborhood excitement

There was a fight across the street from my house, much like the fights I used to see outside my lanai off of Salt Lake Blvd. in Honolulu. This one was different though- I am at ground level now and do not have the safety of elevation and discretion when it comes time for me to dispense vigilante justice at these hoodlums.

I remember many a night (morning?) when I was awakened by the mischief of locals who had no future, no life to speak of and nothing to do but get in trouble. They would drive/walk/skateboard up and down the street at all hours causing trouble. It was entertaining at first, watching thugs get the piss beat out of them and, if I was lucky, hauled off to jail if Honolulu's finest got there in time.

But it gets old constantly being shaken out of a deep sleep to screaming female teens who are yelling at their newly informed father of the news, assholes who like to ride around screaming for no other reason than to piss people off, or more than anything else ride around with a muffler that is 300 dB louder than the legal limit. Add to this sleep deprivation the crying of an infant who was also disturbed from a nights sleep and you can see how the frustration builds.

But I didn't come here to talk about that. You can go back to my posts in 2005 and read all about it. The fight that happened yesterday had all the elements of the fights I saw in Hawaii- only this time there were Mexicans instead of Filipino's, Samoans, hapa Pacific rim losers. Oh, and here there are a few white trash jackholes sprinkled in there, sadly girls who look like heroin addicts. Not to label trouble makers (assholes are found in all races, colors, and creeds), but for fuck sake, it isn't my fault that most of the mischief that happens in my field of view fits the aforementioned profile.

I was completely unaware of the trouble until my wife asked how long you are supposed to let a *potential* fight build up until you call the police. I thought it was a trick question since I like to see vagrants and social detritus duke it out. It falls along a very loose parallel of watching gang members kill each other- I have not empathy for a dead gangster (a.k.a. rapper).


This fight was pretty lame. At least the Hawaiian locals like to scrap. Hits are dealt, asses are beat, blood is drawn. The embarrassing spectacle I witnessed looked like that skit from Dave Chappelle's show called Friday Night Sissy Fights. There was a lot of foot play between the two scrappers and, since there were some ghetto sluts in training on the scene, a lot dominant posturing was exercised via verbal abuse.

The guy in the red shorts (photo at the bottom of the post) was really trying to get something going. The guy in the black shorts was dancing around and trying to avoid the uncoordinated swings and advances from his rival. He was doing a great job of avoidance and his laughter was really pissing the other guy off. They eventually parted ways and the next time I looked out the window the guy in the black was pulling the other guy out of his car. Ok, now some shit is going to happen. Nope. They were rolling around on the ground for a minute or two, each one having a "helper" on their side giving them tips on how to overcome the stalemate.

Let me break down the attendees who were there in the parking lot at the park across the street from my house. Oh, I forgot the mention it is a park where little kids and families come to spend some quality time? My mistake.

Every fight I have witnessed with a group of people watching has the same type of people hanging around. There is the instigator, shown here by the fat ass in the white shirt and the towel around his neck. He could be heard in my house with the TV on and my 4 kids having a normal conversational tone, which is pretty high since my kids are fucking loud. The instigator is rarely involved with any actual physical action, unless of course his guy gets the upper hand and then the instigator will come over and get in a cheap shot. This fight had two instigators. See the little white trash teen in the grey shirt? She wanted the whole neighborhood to know that she is going to be a truck driver when she grows up.

There are also the documentors, using any form of media they can to record the event and then upload to YouTube. Cell phones are an awesome way to record photos and video and there is rarely something that goes on in this world that cannot be caught on film or digital media.

There are also side bars going on that involve the friends or acquaintances of the two fighting. This side bar had a better fight than the two asshats who started the whole show. Two white trash girls were kicking the shit out of a fatty Mexican chick who was curled up in the fetal position, cellulite hanging out of her stressed sweat pants. That is when I started to go out but then I remembered I had to go get a drink of water. Besides, the fatty got right up and at least acted like it didn't phase her. Good for her. Sad, though, when the sluts put up an better fight than the dudes. The cop agreed with me when they finally showed up.

Funny side bar in our house during this time- when my wife called 911 she couldn't get through on her Blackberry so she grabbed mine and still couldn't get through. Some kind of error. She had to use my son's phone to actually get through to a 911 operator. Since we are in an unincorporated area the 911 operator had to call the Sheriff's office to dispatch a unit to our neighborhood. Comforting to know.

And just like that, the young adults, who have so much going for them, who have such a bright future ahead of them as State tax burdens, all got in their vehicles and drove off. Three of four cars went to the house of the slutty trailer trash teen who was announcing her instructions with a certain sense of bravado. She returned to the parking lot (with 3 other crack head girls)looking for a cell phone and then left when the cops got there. I went and talked to the cops and one of the units went after the car. I also provided license place numbers. On the way back across the street to my house, I was betting myself which one of the girls would have an abortion before the school year was over. I really wish I wasn't such a dick sometimes.

They can all kiss my ass. I am not going to watch this nice park turn into a hangout for these people without doing something about it. A nearby city had a serial arsonist who was burning playground equipment. What an asshole. As my mind started to drift that night in bed, I envisioned my self as one of the Watchmen, decked out in makeshift armor with a cool costume. I would break arms, legs, and punch a few sluts in the face. I heard one of the people had a screw driver during the fight but only brandished it- that thing would have ended up his ass.

But fantasy gave in to fatigue and I fell asleep.

The breakdown of Obama's Health Care Plan

In a nutshell:
"H.R. 3200 is a massive reordering of America’s health care services with a heavy bias toward injecting the government’s judgment in place of doctors, installing bureaucratic control in place of patient discretion and enacting significant tax increases in hopes of stemming the deficit busting costs of the new programs."

Here is a great breakdown of the current revision of H.R. 3200, a small segment of Obamacare, by Patients First.

The full text of H.R. 3200 can be found by clicking the link.

August 23, 2009

One thing at a time, Mr. President.

It appears that some members of our government are having a momentary lapse of reason and are admonishing Obama to slow down and tackle one thing at a time. Senator Joe Lieberman must have caught Ben Stein's piece.

The Aloha Dump Cake

I don't know whether this is funny or sad, but while Googling my blog I came across a cake with the same name.

Aloha Dump Cake

New Star Trek kicked some buttocks

I will never admit to being a Star Trek purist but I watched the television show as a kid and all the movies. I don't really care for The Next Generation and all the spin offs, but they are not that bad to watch. I rarely see movies in the theatre and prefer to sit in my own home and wear whatever I want, all the while eating my own cheapy Scooby Snacks. I really liked the new Star Trek movie.

I thought the movie was cleverly made and I knew they would not be able to go through the "prequel" without having a few nostalgic scenes with some original cast members. The only one that is really out there anymore is William Shatner as the Priceline Negotiator. Stupid commercials but it's Kirk, dammit. By the way, if you have never seen the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner you are really missing out.

There was one thing that took me a while to get over and that was seeing Zachary Quinto as a young, brilliant Spock. I am a huge Heroes fan and it just seemed eirie to see Quinto on a television screen without ripping the top of someone's head off. He really pulled off the role as Spock and looked good doing it.

As with most movies with an element of time travel in the plot, the outcome seemed a little uncertain to me. In the alternate reality of this movie Kirk's father is dead, Scotty has his own formula for warp drive beaming revealed to him, and Spock and Uhura are getting it on. I wondered if all this time alteration would change the future even more and alter the sequel movies in the Star Trek Universe. Would we still get the to hear the awesome cry from Kirk, "KAAAAAAAHN!" as he is marooned on that infant planet?

There were a few times that J.J. Abrams really played into the hands of the Star Trek geeks. The first one was seeing Kirk laying some pipe with the green skinned hottie and laying the foundation that skin color really doesn't matter when it comes to some good old fashioned sexy time. Another cliche that was well played was the unknown third party member that always gets axed when accompanying Kirk and his crew. Brilliant.



I enjoyed how Abrams really pulled the ingenuity and resourcefulness of the characters out of the script and set them up as kick ass elements of the future crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. George Lucas did the same thing with his prequels. We all knew Yoda was a bad ass Jedi Master, but what self respecting Star Wars geek didn't get excited when Yoda pulled out his little light saber and started flying around all over the place and fucking shit up?

I don't normally give my opinion about a movie I have seen because 1) nobody cares about film critiques, 2) I am not timely with them since I don't see them until they come out on DVD and, 3) there are much better plot spoilers than I. But it's my blog so I can do whatever the hell I want and I really liked this movie.

Old School Star Trek



The Young Ones

August 22, 2009

What the fuck, Scotland?

Old news by now, but I have been out of the country on business and just didn't have time to comment on the recent release of "Abdel Basset Mohamed al-Megrahi, the only individual convicted in the 1988 bombing of Pan American World Airways Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland." When this disaster happened I was just into my first year in the Navy, and had just met my first boat in Guam when a briefcase bomb carried by a Muslim extremist asshole exploded killing all on board and about a dozen people in a small Scottish town where it cashed. 189 Americans were on that flight.

The Muslim asshat, Megrahi, was released purely on grounds of sympathy. He has prostate cancer and is about to die in less than 3 months so the Scottish Executive let him go. He was recieved in Tripoli with chants of joy amidst a hero's welcome from local Libyans.



Way to go, Scotland. Way to rub shit in the faces of the family members of the near 300 victims of Flight 103. As far as I'm concerned, Megrahi should have died in prison of his prostate cancer in a lonely cell with nobody around except the sicko who has a fetish for necrophilia.

But now it looks like it wasn't really Scotland, appearing as a pariah to the rest of the world, who was really responsible for the release of Megrahi. It goes far deeper into the world of foreign governments and shady deals, and at the bottom of the barrel is the real reason that anyone has anything to do with the Middle East- oil. It appears that Scotland was strong armed into the release so that the UK and the US would have access to Libya's oil and gas fields.
Read about it here I was very disappointed to read Tony Blair's name.

This is what happens when you cave in to a Muslim population that has overtaken your country and demands that the world conform to their sick, antiquated ideologies. Europe is paying a heavy price for their dhimmitude. The Obama administration has publicly condemned the release but I would imagine the only reason Obama is talking about it all is to save his Islamic ass from mutiny. He didn't seem too upset about it when I caught his comments at Denver International Airport. He showed more feeling at the press conference when he called the Cambridge Police Department stupid.

He looks real chummy with fellow terrorist supporter and Muslim asshole Khadafi when they met on Thursday. Yeah, you can really see the outrage in Obama's eyes that fellow Muslim terrorist is coming home to Libya.




No fucking way would G.W. Bush be seen with this asshole and shaking hands under these circumstances. Khadafi is probably sighing a long wind of relief that Obama is in office. Bush scared the fuck out of him so much that he voluntarily relinquished his WMD's. I'm sure he is in the process of finding replacements. Most people are not afraid of getting an Obama creme puff thrown in their direction. Especially not the Muslims.