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October 18, 2009

Balloon Boy steals Bubble Boy's thunder

I was in Dayton when the Balloon Boy hysteria hit and I just read caught up on the events leading up to today. This is a crock of shit story and I think the parents definitely have something fishy going on. What kind of a sicko launches a Roswell inspired balloon into the air and then tells the world a little boy is inside? Even more disturbing are the people in the balloon's flight path who told reporters they thought they saw something fall out of the carriage- obvious to us now that they were just trying to get their faces on television.

I think the family is hosed. The little kid, whose name is Falcon and should have a soccer ball thrown at his head for his entire Elementary learning recess periods, let the air out of the balloon when he

turned to his dad during a CNN interview Thursday night and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place.
From the mouth of babes. I have as much interest in this story as I had for that little shit Elian Gonzales, whom Falcon resembles somewhat. I have posted their images below for dramatic effect and not to suggest the whole Gonzalez mess was a hoax- just really funny to watch.

If the father of the Balloon Boy looks familiar, and you happen to be bed ridden and make up the audience base of Wife Swap, then you will remember Richard Heene as a guest on another reason to not watch ABC programming. Granted, Heene wasn’t as bat shit crazy as this woman from a few years ago on Trading Spouses. I love watching this video and thinking how much alcohol and drugs this lady and Heene’s kids are going to do later in life.

While researching this lunatic for this post I came across this little video of Heen’s kids in a pussification video. This tard is definitely in the running for this year’s Biggest Asshole Dad Award.  And, another quick Google search reveals a video of Heene from (link no longer works, by the way hmmmmm) of Heene showing irrefutable proof of the existence of Martian life captured by the Mars Rover. What a douche. 

I feel bad, just a little bit, for the kids of this asshat because they will always be known as the kids of that crazy, lying shit head balloon dude. SO buckle up, kids. This ordeal has already taken its toll on little Falcon as he pulled a Bush and puked all over the place on television. You are definitely going to get sick of hearing balloon boy and Falcon Heene in the months to come.

10/23/2009 UPDATE
Confirmed: The  family planned the whole thing. I think a fine and jail time just doesn't compensate for the circus these deranged lunatics caused.

October 11, 2009

Peace Out

Obama recently won the Nobel Peace Prize and the world is patting us on the back while internally Americans are ripping each other apart. The announcement from the Norwegian Nobel Committee caught the media off guard and non stop coverage ensued. There are definitely mixed feelings about the award and frankly, I couldn't care less. That award hit rock bottom for me when Yasser Arafat claimed 1/3 of the honor in 1994. 

There are a few key arguments in the blogosphere that have been made about the award. 

1) Obama was put in for the award less than 2 weeks into his term as president.

I don't know if this is true however, it is plausible. This administration seems like it is building a history of "getting something for not really doing anything". It falls along the same lines as when all the little kids receieve an award instead of just the winners of the soccer game.

2) The NNC is full of left wing socialists so it is no wonder they would vote for one of their kind.

If is true, it also falls in line with the past partisan plugs from the Committee to push global goals. Every time Gore opens his mouth about global warming he gets one. 

3) He hasn't done anything to deserve it.

I read one extreme argument to support this statement from a person who brought up the deaths in Iraq and, more recently, Afghanistan and that these deaths alone should disqualify Obama from the award. Again, if Arafat can get it why not Obama. The common complaints I read on this point revolves around the current state of our economy, the persistent war in the middle east, the continued operation of Gitmo, etc. Granted it has only been 9 months since the man took office but he he has focused on far less important issues, such as political payback, that would be justification to give Nobel Peace Prize to someone else more deserving. Reagan brought down the Iron Curtain for crying out loud. Aren't there any more Mother Theresa's out there?

In my opinion, it is very premature for Obama to receive this honor. Back in the day, people received this award 20-40 years after their accomplishments and many received it posthumously. For my Navy readers, that means "after death". It will be interesting to see what he does with the $1.4M award money.

The Obama supporters were in awe after they heard the news and quickly jumped on any rebuke as a racist, angry, bitter attempt by GOP supporters to totally shit on anything the president does. This does have some credibility especially since Chicago's loss of hosting the 2016 Olympics brought out the neener-neeners from the right-of-center media outlets. I even stuck it to Obama in a post but I did so not because I hate the man but because he is such a sham. However true that might be, he is still our President and we Americans must seem pretty silly to the rest of the world as they read about us, some of whom actually want their president to fail. 

I think the most damning evidence against the true mission of the NNC choice for Obama to take the prize is this statement:
Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics.
That's it? Gee, what was the matter with our international politics before Obama... hmmm... oh yeah- Bush was president and we were a bunch of 'gun toting war mongers' tired of putting up with the World's bullshit. So Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize for essentially not being Bush and for pre-emptive peace? I think it was Woody Allen who said, "90% of Life is just showing up."

Apparently, the NNC's reason to giveObama the award was "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Read that again- his "efforts", not his accomplishments. Remember the little kids? Obama was given a highly prestigious award on what he might accomplish. This is actually a good move for bolstering world peace, or at least the efforts in attaining it.
We'll all be waiting now for him to bring about peace in the Mid-east, completely get out of Iraq, completely disengage from Afghanistan, eradicate nuclear weapons from the earth, prevent the next genocide, convince the Muslim world that we mean them no harm, convince the western world Islam means us no harm, Human rights in China, love between Blacks and whites, etc.

October 9, 2009

US Business model: Lesson in parallel

A very large American manufacturer and its equally large Japanese competitor decided to hold a canoe race down the Detroit River, with the winner securing bragging rights for the following year. Both teams were given 30 days to develop their strategy and prepare their teams to reach peak performance before the race. On the big day, Team Japan won by a mile.

Team America, very discouraged and disappointed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A canoe steering committee of senior managers was formed to investigate the root cause and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that Team Japan had eight people rowing and one person steering, while Team America had eight people steering and one person rowing.

Unsatisfied with the internal conclusions and feeling that a deeper study was in order, Team America's management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. After considerable time and great expense, they advised, of course, that too many people were steering the canoe, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to Team Japan, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering supervisors and one steering manager. They also implemented a new pay-for-performance program that would give the one person rowing the canoe greater incentive to work harder. The program was launched with much fanfare and named "Team High Incentive Canoe Kickoff" (THICK), with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new-technology paddles, canoes and other
equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year, Team Japan won by two miles.

Humiliated, Team America's management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the equipment, and cancelled all capital expenditures for new technology. The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as bonuses, and the following year the racing team was outsourced to India.

October 8, 2009

Tijuana donkey makes left turn at Albuquerque; ends up in Gaza

When you pull in to San Diego, a trip south of the border is a must. I saw many street side "zebras" many years ago during an overnight romp in TJ- poor burros were painted and then laden with boxes of chicklets.

Here is a story about a Gaza zoo who's owners used hair dye and masking tape to turn a donkey into a make shift zebra. WHy would this crazy Palestinian do such a thing? His reasons are twofold:

"The first reason so that the children would see a striped donkey and think zebra and then they might feel like they saw a new animal today."
OK, so you wanted to trick the children and lied by telling them that this abomination is a zebra.

"The second reason is because it is difficult to get a striped donkey because it is very expensive and all the animals we get we smuggle them inside."
I don't see what the problem is. Hamas has been smuggling firearms, RPG's, mortars, grenades and mines using underground tunnels for decades. Why does't the zoo owner just load up a real zebra with this stuff and use it as a tax write off? The children get their zebra and Hamas gets more ammunition to kill Israeli civilians.

Wait, I have a better idea. You want real zebras in your zoos? Tell Hamas to stop killing Israeli civilians while hiding behind Palestinian children, dick holes!

October 7, 2009

October 4, 2009

U.S. loses 2016 Olympics, America safer

It appears Obama is pretty shaken up about it. I read the decision by the Olympic committee to dump Chicago in the first round. Watching the Obamas try and convince the committee to come to the U.S. was absolutely pathetic. That meeting was supposed to be about money, logistics and convincing the committee that Chicago could handle the swarm of people from around the world, not about having to listen to the First Lady cry like a Homecoming Queen as she brought up her childhood. Lame, lame, lame.

In exceptionally good taste was the avenue in which the Obamas took to deliver their speeches to the 106 member Olympic Committee. The failed trip was paid for by our tax dollars.

I think that the Obamas are quit upset at this failure because it is so 'in their face'- there is no body else to blame but themselves, no scape goat this time. He has failed many times but the media and his aids have always had an excuse to bail him out. Oh, they are all over this one but nobody is buying it. But it gets better- It's Bush's fault! This retarded accusation comes from Chicago's own Rep. Bobby Rush. These Democrats crack me up! I jut wonder when the statute of limitations is going be up for that defense.

My question is this: If Obama can't convince the Olympic Committee with a force of 2 Obamas and an Oprah, how the hell is he going to convince Iran to give up their nukes?

I am glad that Rio got the thumbs up for 2 reasons:

1. Obama has weakened the security of this nation. Chicago would almost certainly have suffered terrorist action.

2. Rio has hotter women than Chicago.