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October 18, 2009

Balloon Boy steals Bubble Boy's thunder

I was in Dayton when the Balloon Boy hysteria hit and I just read caught up on the events leading up to today. This is a crock of shit story and I think the parents definitely have something fishy going on. What kind of a sicko launches a Roswell inspired balloon into the air and then tells the world a little boy is inside? Even more disturbing are the people in the balloon's flight path who told reporters they thought they saw something fall out of the carriage- obvious to us now that they were just trying to get their faces on television.

I think the family is hosed. The little kid, whose name is Falcon and should have a soccer ball thrown at his head for his entire Elementary learning recess periods, let the air out of the balloon when he

turned to his dad during a CNN interview Thursday night and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place.
From the mouth of babes. I have as much interest in this story as I had for that little shit Elian Gonzales, whom Falcon resembles somewhat. I have posted their images below for dramatic effect and not to suggest the whole Gonzalez mess was a hoax- just really funny to watch.

If the father of the Balloon Boy looks familiar, and you happen to be bed ridden and make up the audience base of Wife Swap, then you will remember Richard Heene as a guest on another reason to not watch ABC programming. Granted, Heene wasn’t as bat shit crazy as this woman from a few years ago on Trading Spouses. I love watching this video and thinking how much alcohol and drugs this lady and Heene’s kids are going to do later in life.

While researching this lunatic for this post I came across this little video of Heen’s kids in a pussification video. This tard is definitely in the running for this year’s Biggest Asshole Dad Award.  And, another quick Google search reveals a video of Heene from (link no longer works, by the way hmmmmm) of Heene showing irrefutable proof of the existence of Martian life captured by the Mars Rover. What a douche. 

I feel bad, just a little bit, for the kids of this asshat because they will always be known as the kids of that crazy, lying shit head balloon dude. SO buckle up, kids. This ordeal has already taken its toll on little Falcon as he pulled a Bush and puked all over the place on television. You are definitely going to get sick of hearing balloon boy and Falcon Heene in the months to come.

10/23/2009 UPDATE
Confirmed: The  family planned the whole thing. I think a fine and jail time just doesn't compensate for the circus these deranged lunatics caused.

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