Balloon Boy steals Bubble Boy's thunder




I was in Dayton when the Balloon Boy hysteria hit and I just read caught up on the events leading up to today. This is a crock of shit story and I think the parents definitely have something fishy going on. What kind of a sicko launches a Roswell inspired balloon into the air and then tells the world a little boy is inside? Even more disturbing are the people in the balloon's flight path who told reporters they thought they saw something fall out of the carriage- obvious to us now that they were just trying to get their faces on television.


I think the family is hosed. The little kid, whose name is Falcon and should have a soccer ball thrown at his head for his entire Elementary learning recess periods, let the air out of the balloon when he

turned to his dad during a CNN interview Thursday night and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place.
From the mouth of babes. I have as much interest in this story as I had for that little shit Elian Gonzales, whom Falcon resembles somewhat. I have posted their images below for dramatic effect and not to suggest the whole Gonzalez mess was a hoax- just really funny to watch.


If the father of the Balloon Boy looks familiar, and you happen to be bed ridden and make up the audience base of Wife Swap, then you will remember Richard Heene as a guest on another reason to not watch ABC programming. Granted, Heene wasn’t as bat shit crazy as this woman from a few years ago on Trading Spouses. I love watching this video and thinking how much alcohol and drugs this lady and Heene’s kids are going to do later in life.


While researching this lunatic for this post I came across this little video of Heen’s kids in a pussification video. This tard is definitely in the running for this year’s Biggest Asshole Dad Award.  And, another quick Google search reveals a video of Heene from http://www.thepsyiencedetectives.com/ (link no longer works, by the way hmmmmm) of Heene showing irrefutable proof of the existence of Martian life captured by the Mars Rover. What a douche. 


I feel bad, just a little bit, for the kids of this asshat because they will always be known as the kids of that crazy, lying shit head balloon dude. SO buckle up, kids. This ordeal has already taken its toll on little Falcon as he pulled a Bush and puked all over the place on television. You are definitely going to get sick of hearing balloon boy and Falcon Heene in the months to come.





10/23/2009 UPDATE
Confirmed: The  family planned the whole thing. I think a fine and jail time just doesn't compensate for the circus these deranged lunatics caused.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Commanding Officer sacked

It seems that men in high places still haven't learned to keep their dorks zipped up. Capt. Scott Bawden, Commodore of Submarine Squadron 17 in Bangor, WA, was relieved of commnad after having "lost the confidence" of his boss. If you follow submarine news you will remember that Bawden was the Commodore who axed some of the crew of the USS Columbia after a hazing incident. /hat tip The Stupid Shall be Punished What comes around goes around? It has been quoted by a Chief who knew Bawden that morale will probably get better now that Bawden has been shitcanned. Sounds like a few Commodores I know. But there is more to this story than a guy who perhaps can't do his job anymore. Bawden was busted sleeping with someone elses wife, a Chief's wife, no less, IN HIS OWN command. Will the top brass save a onetime fair-haired boy's career, or will he end up "walking the plank?" What a jackass. It's bad enough that the Officers screw the enlisted, but
Read more

Dog in Jail

Image
Duane "Dog" Chapman is a celebrity icon here in Hawaii. He doesn't sing in Waikiki, he isn't a politician and he doesn't give surfing lessons on North Shore. He brings in bad guys- he is a bounty hunter. Dog is a bail bondsman and his business Da Kine Bailbonds is featured on A&E. Dog and his family are on the constant search for bail jumpers and continually clean up the streets in Hawaii by bringing in ice heads, crack heads, rapists, and thugs. Although he is surrounded by a bad element, he treats his prisoners fairly, after eveyone has cooled down, and then he dispenses his Chicken Soup for the Soul Dog Style. My 3 year old loves Dog and sings the song that opens the show. He recognizes not only Dog but also his family. At a recent autograph session at a Pearl Harbor Naval Base block party my son pointed Dog out and almost crapped his pull-up as he shouted his name. Occasionally, Dog travels to the mainland to get bail jumpers who haul ass out of Honolulu I
Read more
Image
  I found these writings in my Google drive that I had saved on various computers from way back in the day. These essays present an interesting mathematical point of view to those who struggle with or maintain the notion, of life sprouting on our planet from chance events during the history of our ~13.8 billion-year-old Universe. Even if you don't believe in Creation, these essays give pause to the big question.  Thoughts? Given Enough Time Anything is Possible - Even Evolution By David N. Menton (C) copyright 1991 Missouri Association for Creation, Inc.  This myth is the ultimate argument of those who attempt to "explain" the origin of the Cosmos and all life by CHANCE and the natural properties of matter and energy. Evolutionists hope that by invoking immense amounts of time, highly improbable events can somehow be made probable. But with this type of argument, it is possible to "explain" ANYTHING. We've all heard it said, for example, that "given eno
Read more