Aloha Dump

September 9, 2005 I have the midwatch now and it is going pretty slow. I had an interesting dream oncoming about zombies. I was beating them down with a tomahawk and a baseball bat. I was really kicking some zombie ass until I was awakened by someone yelling at Zach to get up for his training. Lower level berthing is just too small for people to be yelling like that. I got up about an hour later because I couldn’t fall back asleep. Assholes. We have been underway from Guam a month now. Seems longer. We are running low on yeast so bread and pizza will probably be rationed very soon. How can the cooks be so stupid and not pack 90 days of yeast like they are supposed to? Yeah, rhetorical questions suck, I know. I have noticed throughout my career that the cooks can consistently do a shitty job with little repercussion. The rest of us suffer and it goes unnoticed. Shitbirds. So Hanthorn’s ass zit still hasn’t popped and he won’t stop complaining about it. Woydziak and I offered to la...

I was so happy to read this email my wife sent me concerning the Navy's use of active sonar off the coast of California. I remember how much of a pain in the ass it was to come out to San Diego to do battlegroup operations becuase of the Marine Mammal Active Sonar regulations the Navy had to adopt. In short, whenever a few whales beached themselves, there happened to be a Naval exercise somewhere in the area, perhaps even 2000 nautical miles away. This was unequivocably related and caused by the active sonar operations of the ships and subs, regardless of whether or not the power levels were 100dB or 250dB. I remember one exercise that came to a halt because a pod of dolphins was detected near our boat. 2 U.S. submarines, a Frigate, and a helicopter had to secure active until the dolphins got tired of playing with us. Heaven forbid a humpback get in our path in which case we had to provide right of way, no matter the distance. Oh yeah, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg can suck it too.

While rummaging around in one of my Rubbermaid boxes of Navy stuff I came across a stenopad with a mini essay I wrote while stationed aboard the USS LOS ANGELES (SSN 688). I do not know the exact date of this writing but it was sometime in October 1998 based on an underway log entry made immediately following. I am finding more and more of these notebooks and pads and I have mixed feelings after I read them. On one hand, I am extremely grateful that I m not punching holes in the ocean aboard a nuclear powered submarine. On the other hand, I miss punching holes in the ocean aboard a nuclear powered submarine. The following essay is exactly how I wrote it over 10 years ago. Enjoy. The very nature of a submarine causes people to dislike the situation they are in. It is a unique animal which demands a like coexistence with its crew. Most people will admit that they like their job and just tolerate the rest of the bullshit that goes along with it (drills, workups, fucked up command policies...

Beween the innocence of infancy and the recklessness of maturity comes the unique specimen of humanity known as the Submariner. Submariners can be found in bars, in arguments, in bed, in debt and intoxicated. They like receiving mail, mid month paychecks, nude pin ups, sympathy, complaining and beer. A Submariners secret ambition is to change places with the Captain for just one trip, to own a brewery and to be loved by everyone in the world. A Submariner is a Sir Galahad in a Japanese brothel, a psychoanalyst with Readers Digest on the table, Don Quixote with a discharge note, the savior of mankind with his back teeth awash, Valentino with a fiver in his pocket and democracy personified in a Red Chinese prison cell. A Submariner is a provider in war and a parasite in peace. No one is subjected to abuse, wrongly accused, so often misunderstood by so many as a Submariner. He has the patience of Job, the honesty of a fool and the heaven sent ability to laugh at himself. When he returns h...

After playing cat-and-mouse with Russian submarines during the Cold War, it appears that the U.S. will now start playing with China, but in coordinated exercises. How ironic, since a Chinese submarine surfaced near the USS Kitty Hawk last month. Of course it took this long for the Commander of the Pacific Fleet, Admiral William Fallon, to confirm it (Navy Times, 11/27/06, p.26). This is a significant event in the world of Anti Submarine Warfare (ASW) for a few reasons. First, a submarine surfaced near an aircraft carrier undetected. The carrier is the life blood of the battle group. It must be protected because it has no real defenses of its own to combat an enemy submarine. It does have aircraft that can find them but they are not on the hunt 24/7, only when a suspected threat is imminent. It is up to the ASW capable vessels in the battle group to find enemy submarines and what better tool to use than another submarine. Although the article does not identify what kind of submarine sur...

There are many great submarine Naval heroes in our 108 years history- CDR Slade Cutter , CAPT John Cromwell , ADM Eugene Fluckey , and Commander Howard Gilmore - officers who reshaped the course of a war, held their shipmates in higher regard than themselves, and made decisions that were based on what’s best for the crew. How I wish to be surrounded by such men and not the clueless, incompetent “leaders” that are doing nothing but shaping their fitreps. While at sea, submariners are on a steady diet of shit sandwiches. Inherent to life at sea in the nuclear Navy, the stresses of keeping the water outside of the boat, preventing collisions with other vessels, and the routines of drills, maintenance, and training all contribute to the Dagwood-sized sandwich we are forced to choke down. After 4 years a sailor is supposed to be able to go to shore duty and shake off the rigors of sea duty. It is a time to relax, spend some well deserved time with family, and burn some of that leave that ha...