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December 12, 2009

Fall from grace- See you soon, Tiger

I have restrained comment on the media fueled hysteria about Tiger Woods until now because, until the recent admission by the golf legend, it was all here say. My initial reaction was, "Great, here we go with all these bitches coming out of the wood work (no pun intended) to get their 15 minutes." I still believe that to be the case and that these mistresses are pulling a Lewinski- the only thing missing, so far, are the semen stained dresses and stinky cigars. Clinton, Hugh Grant, Jude Law and Eric Benet are hoping for a reprieve.

It has been quite a trip over the last week, an even more disturbing progression of events than the Balloon Boy in October. If you don't know the story and you are hearing it for the first time on this blog you have serious media outlet problems. The world was in shock on Friday as Tiger admitted his infidelity and then announced an indefinate break from playing golf. One paper reported Tiger's decision to put his game on hold as the sport of golf losing its greatest athlete. Athlete? Let's not get carried away- he hits a ball into a hole with a stick. He is very good at it, for sure, but he is no Michael Jordan, Dale Earnhardt or Emmit Smith.

I guess Jim Daly should have given Tiger some tips on how to not screw up your marriage by cheating on your hot wife with semen burping gutter sluts. Tiger didn't handle this whole thing very well and I don't know how long he expected to get away with it. It is as if he wanted to get caught- multiple whores, leaving his name on answering machines, etc. In any case, I'm sure we will get to know these poor victims of Tiger's harem as they start showing up on all the usual venues that cater to losers who live their lives through movie stars and celebrities.

I will go out on a limb and say that some of his lesser sponsors might drop him but the big ones won't. It is a proven marketing strategy to put this handsome black man's face on any product to immediately boost sales. Interestingly, most of his products are for men, as they should be, and even if the women refuse to buy products endorsed by Tiger, the men still will. I stress the "men" still will and not the wimps. Most guys don't care about his infidelity and the range of emotion for men will be one of two extremes- "What a douche" or "Aww yeah! Hit that again, Tiger!"

It matters not. He will probably go to Sweden with his wife who owns a house there. Additionally, his wife's parents hold a bit of power in the blonde bombshell producing pussyass neutral country- his mother-in-law is a politician and his father-in-law in an ex-DC bureau chief turned radio show host. Careful going back to Sweden, Tiger, you never know what a vindictive mother-in-law in politics can do.

Regardless the outcome, Tiger will be back and we will welcome him with open arms.

On a lighter note is the Al Sharpton satire blasting Woods for his lack of diversity when choosing a mistress whore, more specifically, choosing a white one over a black one. Great stuff.


  1. Love the prase "semen burping gutter sluts".

  2. oops..... phrase. Sorry distracted looking at nude photos.