Kathleen Sebelius, the Health and Human Services Secretary, joined in and issued a formal apology to the Central American nation and to Guatemalan residents of the United States. The Guatemalan government was not available for immediate comment, however a former Guatemalan inmate known only as Agador had this to say:
"Even though we were intentionally infected it was one helluva experiment. Lots of bareback sex followed up by a few shots of penicillin or whatever else they were testing. Of course some guys weren't so lucky. Note to self: you cannot treat ghonnorea with penile subcutaneous habanero pepper injections."Sebelious happened to stumbled on to the experiment while trying to one-up long time rival Susan Reverby, famous for outing a joint Guatemalan-US study called the "Tuskegee Experiment".
I was looking through some old files that Reverby used to expose the Tuskegee Experiment so that I could post some disparaging remarks on her Facebook page", said Sebelious.Instead of trying to knock Reverby down a notch, Sebelious decided to go to President Obama who cut Sebelious off in mid sentence and asked her to go with Clin-ton and apoligize. He also suggested that they mention it was probably Bush's fault. Alhtough Clin-ton and Sebelious managed to aplogize, the blame-Bush statement was inadvertantly left out because Sebelious was star struck.
"I used to watch the Crypt Keeper when I was younger and Secretary of State Clin-ton is the best Crypt Keeper impersonator I've ever seen. I just got caught up."