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April 23, 2007

Nothing to Crow about

I had a thing for Sheryl Crow up until an hour ago. I like her music and she is an attractive woman but her latest eco-friendly suggestion has forced me to reevaluate my fantasy hook up. Crow has suggested using
"only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".
I just don't know if I can have fantasy sex with a person who only uses one square of tp to wipe. It sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode.

To compound her ridiculousness, she is tossing around the idea of make a line of eco friendly napkins in the form of a 'dinner sleeve', thereby saving our landfills of paper napkin products. So I am supposed to go against everything my mother taught me and wipe my BBQ laden mouth on my sleeve? I don't think so. Besides, wouldn't the water and electricity costs associated with cleaning the sleeves prohibit the eco-effectiveness of the sleeve?

Maybe we can offset that problem by wiping our asses on the sleeve too. While not a fan of Rosie O'Donnell, her comment concerning the toilet paper limit made me laugh when she said, "Have you seen my ass?"

After these latest developements, and her short fling with guitar wizard Eric Clapton (despite his old man balls), I just can't have Sheryl Crow on my Fantasy hook up list. Recent pictures of her also suggest she has either a diet consisting soley of tofu or that she is a heroin addict.

Maybe this is just a sign that I am growing as a person...

More Crow insanity


  1. Women are the scourge of Eco-potty sinfulness because they have to use TP every single time they go. Half the time men can just shake and dance - so women use twice as much as men.

  2. Half the time men can just shake and dance

    That's true, but have you ever smelled the berthing areas of a submarine after being at sea for 2 weeks? I think your 50% shakeage rate is optimistic. At least we use eco-friendly toilet paper that disintegrates in the ocean. It's John Wayne paper but at least we are keeping the whales from accidentally eating a strand of used shit paper.