Nothing to Crow about

I had a thing for Sheryl Crow up until an hour ago. I like her music and she is an attractive woman but her latest eco-friendly suggestion has forced me to reevaluate my fantasy hook up. Crow has suggested using
"only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".
I just don't know if I can have fantasy sex with a person who only uses one square of tp to wipe. It sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode.

To compound her ridiculousness, she is tossing around the idea of make a line of eco friendly napkins in the form of a 'dinner sleeve', thereby saving our landfills of paper napkin products. So I am supposed to go against everything my mother taught me and wipe my BBQ laden mouth on my sleeve? I don't think so. Besides, wouldn't the water and electricity costs associated with cleaning the sleeves prohibit the eco-effectiveness of the sleeve?

Maybe we can offset that problem by wiping our asses on the sleeve too. While not a fan of Rosie O'Donnell, her comment concerning the toilet paper limit made me laugh when she said, "Have you seen my ass?"

After these latest developements, and her short fling with guitar wizard Eric Clapton (despite his old man balls), I just can't have Sheryl Crow on my Fantasy hook up list. Recent pictures of her also suggest she has either a diet consisting soley of tofu or that she is a heroin addict.

Maybe this is just a sign that I am growing as a person...

UPDATE
More Crow insanity

Comments

  1. NotClauswitzApril 24, 2007 7:44 AM

    Women are the scourge of Eco-potty sinfulness because they have to use TP every single time they go. Half the time men can just shake and dance - so women use twice as much as men.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trickish KnaveApril 24, 2007 5:40 PM

    Half the time men can just shake and dance

    That's true, but have you ever smelled the berthing areas of a submarine after being at sea for 2 weeks? I think your 50% shakeage rate is optimistic. At least we use eco-friendly toilet paper that disintegrates in the ocean. It's John Wayne paper but at least we are keeping the whales from accidentally eating a strand of used shit paper.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Commanding Officer sacked

It seems that men in high places still haven't learned to keep their dorks zipped up. Capt. Scott Bawden, Commodore of Submarine Squadron 17 in Bangor, WA, was relieved of commnad after having "lost the confidence" of his boss. If you follow submarine news you will remember that Bawden was the Commodore who axed some of the crew of the USS Columbia after a hazing incident. /hat tip The Stupid Shall be Punished What comes around goes around? It has been quoted by a Chief who knew Bawden that morale will probably get better now that Bawden has been shitcanned. Sounds like a few Commodores I know. But there is more to this story than a guy who perhaps can't do his job anymore. Bawden was busted sleeping with someone elses wife, a Chief's wife, no less, IN HIS OWN command. Will the top brass save a onetime fair-haired boy's career, or will he end up "walking the plank?" What a jackass. It's bad enough that the Officers screw the enlisted, but
Read more

wtf, over....

Bernie Mac died at age 50 the other day, Isaac Hayes died today at 65. I guess show business can be rough. Only the good die young. - Billy Joel I didn't listen to Bernie Mac's stand up except for maybe a few minutes as I was channel surfing. He was playing in Vegas a few weeks ago when I went for the weekend with my wife. I have posted about Isaac Hayes when he decided to leave South Park after the creators dogged the stupidity that is Scientology. Hayes didn't seem to have a problem when Matt Stone and Trey Parker made fun of all the other world religions. I didn't read the story about Hayes but I can only guess he didn't die by falling off a suspended bridge while on fire, only to fall off and become impaled on a pointy rock, and then mauled apart by a hungry bear and mountain lion- then ending in a violent release of his bowels. Cosmically ironic if it did though. On top of these weekend deaths, visitors to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing have been murdered. The fa
Read more

Dog in Jail

Image
Duane "Dog" Chapman is a celebrity icon here in Hawaii. He doesn't sing in Waikiki, he isn't a politician and he doesn't give surfing lessons on North Shore. He brings in bad guys- he is a bounty hunter. Dog is a bail bondsman and his business Da Kine Bailbonds is featured on A&E. Dog and his family are on the constant search for bail jumpers and continually clean up the streets in Hawaii by bringing in ice heads, crack heads, rapists, and thugs. Although he is surrounded by a bad element, he treats his prisoners fairly, after eveyone has cooled down, and then he dispenses his Chicken Soup for the Soul Dog Style. My 3 year old loves Dog and sings the song that opens the show. He recognizes not only Dog but also his family. At a recent autograph session at a Pearl Harbor Naval Base block party my son pointed Dog out and almost crapped his pull-up as he shouted his name. Occasionally, Dog travels to the mainland to get bail jumpers who haul ass out of Honolulu I
Read more