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July 3, 2009

Dora the Explorer can kiss my ass

Is is just me or is Dora the Explorer the unholy apex of bilingual appeasement? My 3 year old watches this show and it gives me a headche when it is over. I actually feel dumber for having sat through 30 minutes of this bullshit.

I have never liked this show. Somehow it rubs me the wrong way, like it is clumsily trying to hide a clandestine mission of entertaining illegal immigrant children or, trying to get English speaking children to learn bits of Spanish so they will be able to communicate with the majority of the population in the U.S. in 10 years.

Another thing I don't like is the way she shits all over the fox, Swiper. Anytime this thing somes around she tells the viewers to say "NO! NO! NO SWIPING!". Fuck you, you intolerant little bitch. I can't help but to think that this has contributed in some small way to my daughter's pseudo bitchiness. Or perhaps it was just passed down from her mother. (j/k sweetie)

I get it; I get that the show's intent is to teach bilingualism and diversity. I am not opposed to either- I am learning German and Spanish as we speak (Rosetta Stone ftw!)- I thnk there is just something creepy about this show. And while I'm on the subject, her cousin Diego gets on my nerves too. What the hell are the parents of these two kids doing while Dora and Diego galavant all over the jungle, narrowingly escaping death and/or dismemberment?

Oh, and now the Diversity Police has decided that children should start learning Mandarin Chinese with the launching of the show Ni Hao. But I imagine that will come in handy in the future also. I can foresee that in a 100 years, television will start promoting shows with bits of English in it to teach the kids about diversity. Phhhfffft- yeah, right.


  1. Forrest.....Cave......Chocolate Tree!!!! Say it along with me...Forest....Cave....Chocolate Tree!!!

    Yea, I would have to agree with you. This show drives me crazy. I would however, watch this show than freaking gas,ass barney!

    Glad to hear you are doing well Greg. You need to drop me an email sometime.


  2. Amen to that. Barney is the worst show I have ever seen for kids- almost everything in that show is unoriginal and ripped off from something else.