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July 24, 2009

/headslap

I can't believe I missed this tidbit of news from a few days ago, but it appears a drone attack has killed Barra-, err Obama bin Laden's son. Not that the chicken shit will miss his son, if he even knew about him, but it is comforting to know Saddam will have another Muslim extremist to chat with while he is burning in Hell and getting pineapples rammed up his ass every 15 minutes.

I am just waiting on Obama (our President) to apologize.

I am surprised this was even allowed to happen under the President's watch considering he made the comment that "victory" is not the goal in Afghanistan. Am I the only one who missed this recent bit of news? Usually the deaths of the bad guys are splattered all over the news. Come to think of it, since Obama took office the death of the good guys don't seem to make it in the news as much as before the election.

I hate to say it, considering I really wanted this new President to turn this country around, but he is a tool. I knew this from the start (I didn't vote for him, but I wanted the country to take a round turn on its situation) but I was hoping against hope he could pull it off. The people that voted for him will never admit it and will always manage to bring bush into the conversation with Obama's current and future failures- I don't get mad at them anymore as much as I pity them now. But it is still early in his term so maybe he can pull something out of his ass to help the rest of us.

Our narcissistic president will continue to put our military men and women in harms way because he hates the military, not because it is in our nation's best interest to put them in the areas of conflict. He will continue to make deals with our enemies behind our backs and he will continue to pull that race card out every chance he gets. Forgive me for not putting my usual links to my outlandish statements but feel free to GTS (Google that shit).

July 21, 2009

Why America kicks ass #45329



In honor of the 40th anniversary of the first Moon landing.

We are the first and only country to land on our only Moon. Go fuck yourself Russia!


July 7, 2009

In honor of July 4th, and why America rocks

Joe Dirt: So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?

Kicking Wing: No.

Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?

Kicking Wing: No, I don't.

Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

Kicking Wing: No... because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.

Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it's not what you like, it's the consumer.

July 3, 2009

Dora the Explorer can kiss my ass

Is is just me or is Dora the Explorer the unholy apex of bilingual appeasement? My 3 year old watches this show and it gives me a headche when it is over. I actually feel dumber for having sat through 30 minutes of this bullshit.

I have never liked this show. Somehow it rubs me the wrong way, like it is clumsily trying to hide a clandestine mission of entertaining illegal immigrant children or, trying to get English speaking children to learn bits of Spanish so they will be able to communicate with the majority of the population in the U.S. in 10 years.

Another thing I don't like is the way she shits all over the fox, Swiper. Anytime this thing somes around she tells the viewers to say "NO! NO! NO SWIPING!". Fuck you, you intolerant little bitch. I can't help but to think that this has contributed in some small way to my daughter's pseudo bitchiness. Or perhaps it was just passed down from her mother. (j/k sweetie)

I get it; I get that the show's intent is to teach bilingualism and diversity. I am not opposed to either- I am learning German and Spanish as we speak (Rosetta Stone ftw!)- I thnk there is just something creepy about this show. And while I'm on the subject, her cousin Diego gets on my nerves too. What the hell are the parents of these two kids doing while Dora and Diego galavant all over the jungle, narrowingly escaping death and/or dismemberment?

Oh, and now the Diversity Police has decided that children should start learning Mandarin Chinese with the launching of the show Ni Hao. But I imagine that will come in handy in the future also. I can foresee that in a 100 years, television will start promoting shows with bits of English in it to teach the kids about diversity. Phhhfffft- yeah, right.