Aloha Dump

WE SPENT FIVE years acting hysterically, like a nation that was in a fight with Ricky Ricardo. We were insane people, screaming about politics, shoving tiny American flags on the corners of our news shows, convincing ourselves that flipping houses was a real job. There was a moment there when we even considered shunning French fries. But in 2006 it all changed. This was the year of adulthood, of sobriety, of pragmatism: the year of acting reasonably. The kind of year when you calmed down, thought it through, weighed your options and realized that there is no upside in telling the media that, yes, it does kind of suck when the vice president of the United States shoots you in the face. All of a sudden, we decided to approach events unemotionally. In fact, we were downright boring. At this point in Vietnam, college kids were destroying campuses and growing incredibly unflattering facial hair. In 2006, we asked a bunch of retirees to meet for a study group about Iraq. If they had done a b...

Can someone tell me where to send Cindy Sheehan and Koffi Anon sympathy cards? I'm sure they are devastated. On second thought, I'll just send the cards to Hell; they can pick them up later. And tonight starts the eternal pineapple-ass-reaming as Saddam enters through the gates of Hell- Abandon all hope, asshole. I only wish our justice system doled out sentence this quickly. Good old fashioned hanging Here is a reenactment of Saddam's execution. For those of you feint of heart, suck it up.

This has to be the biggest "no shitter" in the history of baseball. Courtesy of The Onion: SAN FRANCISCO—With the publication of a book detailing steroid use by San Francisco Giants superstar Barry Bonds, two San Francisco Chronicle reporters have corroborated the claims of Bonds' steroid abuse made by every single person who has watched or even loosely followed the game of baseball over the past five years. Read more.

Joseph Barbera, half of the team that founded the Hanna-Barbera Studios in 1954, died today. I would imagine that most kids today have never heard of Hanna-Barbera but my generation sees these two men as the creators of some of the most lovable icons of pop culture- Tom and Jerry, The Flintstones, The Smurfs, Yogi Bear, The Jetsons, Johnny Quest, Huckleberry Hound, Top Cat, Quick Draw McGraw, Mogilla Gorilla, Scooby-Doo, The Snorks, Atom Ant, Secret Squirrel, Space Ghost, Birdman, The Banana Splits, Josie and the Pussycats, the animated Harlem Globetrotters, Superfriends, Jabberjaw, Captain Caveman, Hong Kong Fooey, The Snorks and even the Go-Bots. To this day, at the age of 37, I have stop channel surfing when I come across Tom & Jerry. It is refreshing to still see animation showing good old fashioned animal-on-animal violence that hasn't been censored by an overly sensitive minority who hates the cartoon. I do have my current favorite animation shows like Family Guy, Futuram...

I had to shake my head when I read the headline called Why Teens do Stupid Things . The results, announced this week, were published in the September issue of the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest. So, why do they do stupid things, you ask? Here is the reason: "...the desire for acceptance among peers wins out in the decision-making process of a young mind. Teens often decide that the benefits of risky behavior immediate gratification or peer acceptance." Teens also take 170 milliseconds longer to ponder situations than adults. That's it, 170 milliseconds? My computer has more lag than that when I am surfing the internet. Good job, jackasses. You just confirmed what parents of teenagers have known for the last 300 years or so. If you would like to read some more revleations in teen behavior like these subjects- Why Teens are Lousy at Chores, Human Nature: What We Learned in 2006, A Brief History of Human Sex and Why Teens Don't Care- then visit the ...

A comment by Opinionnation on my last post about the SD Senator reaffirmed just how much class the Republican party has over the Dems. Oh, the GOP has its embarrassments to be sure, but there seems to be less whinning and venom when events unfold that aren't in their favor and when things do go their way they seem to be more graceful in acceptance. Senator Johnson is doing pretty well considering he had his head cut open and coverage continues on his status. Opinionation commented on the press coverage Steve Centanni and his cameraman recieved when they were held by terrorists. The supposed $2M paid for their release was like a dog biscuit thrown to a hungry Rotweiler when that tidbit made it to press. The NYT focused more on the staged conversion to Islam of the two hostages than anything else. I am sure a guick search could reveal more results of mind numbing behavior from the Dems, thier poor loser crying aside, but I am off to fight the holiday crowds and torment the local Sant...

Not many people have heard of South Dakota’s Governor, Mike Rounds, but he could soon be one of the most important people of the post mid-term Democratic sweep of the both the Senate and the House. Including the two Independents who are working the Democratic mooring lines around the cleats, the Democrats enjoy just a 51-49 margin of power in the Senate; certainly not the sweeping blowout they would have you believe judging by their actions the day after election day. But, like in a company who’s CEO owns 51% of the stock, that’s all the Dems need to keep the GOP in limbo. The Senator from South Dakota, Tim Johnson(D) , suffered a stroke yesterday during an interview and had to undergo emergency brain surgery. What does this have to do with Governor Mike Rounds? Let’s have a little civics lesson. If a senator cannot fulfill his term then it is up to the Governor of the state to which the senator was elected to fill the slot with someone of his/her choosing. So, if the Governor is Repub...

The freaks are running for cover until the 14th of December because Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter have aligned themselves in a very small section of the sky. In fact, to the naked eye, they will look like a lopsided triangle. These planets, especially Mars, may be hard to spot—even with binoculars—because of the twilight glare. Given a bird’s-eye view of the solar system, you’d notice that relative to Earth, these planets are situated on the far side of the sun right now. All three planets orbit the sun eastward—or as seen from Earth, in the direction of the sunrise point on the horizon. Because Mercury orbits the sun much more quickly than Earth does, Mercury will drop closer to the glare of the sun day by day. As seen from Earth, Mercury will pass behind the sun in early January. The Earth, meanwhile, orbits the sun more quickly than either Mars or Jupiter. Because the Earth travels eastward at a faster clip, these two planets will appear to climb upward in the dawn twilight throughout ...

I apologize for the sparseness of my posts but I have been very busy with work, preparing for retirement, playing World of Warcraft, job hunting, and finishing up my Masters. Below I have some quotes from people in my Masters class, some of whom only 1 class from graduation. I have followed these people, painstakingly, from class to class and I dread seeing them every time. I would love to play just 10 minutes of a conversation in our classroom but I’m afraid the excruciatingly long diatribes, most of which have nothing to do with the professors questions, would cause you to go into a catatonic trance from which only a whack from a wooden blackjack would break. “He do evaluations…” “Many bidnesses…” “dispendable” “Donalds Rumfeld” “helf care” “Po-leese” “These are mines…” (used as a possessive, not floating explosives) “They might axe you a pacific question” (Got a two-fer there) “You can see favoritism in all faucets of the organization” “People will put on a fas-kahd” “lackadaisy att...