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October 31, 2007

Iran is reeeally starting to piss me off

I have taken a serious hiatus from the political blogging, mainly because I have been extremely busy with the new move, new job, etc., but also because it is a pain in the ass to follow and comment on. My previous job allowed me the opportunity to research and write consistently because I was very a short timer and nobody expected me to participate in the Navy's daily bullshit.

But I did visit some of my daily reads and find that there is still a lot of tension in Iran, Iraq, Afghani--- well, pretty much everywhere over there. And jack shit is being done about it. Still.

Bush insists that a nuclear-armed Iran will lead to three-peat World War and, as much as he has bumbled things up through his last 2 terms, I am inclined to agree with my former boss on this issue. I wholeheartedly believe that Iran would (will?) use their nukes on Israel. Why wouldn't they? Ahmadinejad has made threats to do so in the past. He is not joking around when he tells the U.S. that he will retailiate if attacked. He wants the old school of Islam to ring true throughout the world and would probably ignite a WWIII to fulfill prophecy. But as pissed off as I get with that guy there is something about him, a sort of Anti-Christ attribute in that when I look at him I think, "Dammit, that's a good looking dude. Too bad he is fucked in the head". I am in no way challenging my sexuality but this guy has a look that people would respond to and follow whatever he said, and not just the fanatical assholes in Iran, but normal people. Kind of like Bill Clinton's look in a way. Clinton came on the scene and ran against Bob Dole. If I hadn't known how crooked Clinton was (is) back then I would have voted for him just on his looks and smooth talk. Anyway, sorry for tangent.

Some U.S. officials say that Iran's nuke program is still a few years away and that the immediate threat is
that in addition to much-publicized explosively formed projectiles -- roadside bombs that can penetrate armored vehicles -- Iran is supplying rocket-propelled grenades, shoulder-fired antiaircraft missiles and large rocket launchers [to Iraq]
So, while the "Slick Willy" of Iran maintains a position as a 'hands-off' kind of guy in the Middle East, his fingerprints are all over the receipts of those weapons.

And we are thinking about bombing their nucular(sic) facilities? Are you fucking kidding me? If we were to do that I think that Iran would definitely invade somewhere along the 900-mile Iran/Iraq border and more Americans would die. If we weren't already stretched so thin over there I would be all for it. Bomb that asshole and let's take care of some business. I'm tired of paying more than $3 for a gallon gas. But, and this is a big fat Oprah "but", I think we need to sanction the shit out of them. And I mean really sanction them- not a half assed North-Korea-Kim-Jong-Il-is-throwing-another-shitfit sanction. Iran, much like Hawaii, only has one marketable resource. Hawaii has tourism as its lifeblood cash crop and Iran has its oil. Cut the lifeblood off and the area will dry up like Paris Hilton's crotch on a night vision gangbang video. Of course it will take a few years for Iran to use up its cash reserves from the previous decades' worth of oil sales, but nothing is easy and we are in this for the long run! Castles took months of sieging before they fell and Iran is no different. Maybe a tough sanction would at least keep guns from crossing Iran's border.

But who knows. It is a Mexican standoff of epic proportion and all I can do anymore is wait for Google to update its news feeds.

October 19, 2007

Luck favores the prepared... sometimes it favors the unprepared

A few months ago I posted a short blurb about my brother-in-law Michael who was in a serious car accident. To divulge the whole story is too emotional, especially since I have family that read my blog, but a condensed version must be told so that you can truly appreciate the gravity of the photos below.

The short story is that Michael, his best friend and roommate, and their girlfriends were coming back home after a concert they attended. It was late (or early depending on how you look at it) and Michael was feeling tired so he asked his room mate to drive. Only 2 exits from home, the room mate fell asleep and the car veered off the road and slammed into a tree at about 70 mph. No drugs. No booze. He just fell asleep.

The driver and Michael's girlfriend escaped with only minor injuries, Michael suffered a myriad of broken bones and serious head trauma, the other passenger died from her injuries that night. All in all, a pretty shitty night.

Michael is recovering but the process is slow. He has had almost a dozen surgeries and it is painfully apparent that the head trauma has taken its toll on Michael. He needs constant care which his parents tried valiantly to provide at their home, but the extent of Michael's care was just too much of a demand. He is extremely lucky to be alive, especially since he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. His family is behind him 100% and each day is a testament that prayer works.

As with every family crisis there is a certain amount of drama but nothing which will be repeated here. Instead, here are the pictures of Michael's car. Keep in mind that he was in the front passenger seat.



October 18, 2007

URGENT MASSAGE FROM MR GEORGE KOUMA

Apparently, I have an massage 'massage' from a guy named George. Not one to be rude, and a big fan of the massage, I opened his email only to find out that he wants to give me 40% of $19.3M
How are you today? Hope all is well,I know that this letter may come to you as a surprise, but you need not to worry as i use this way to contact you it is due to is only means i can reach you confidentially as a foreign to seek for for your assistance in this matter.
Sounds like a nice guy to me. He went on to inform me that the people who the money belonged to died in a horrible plane accident. George has their unclaimed money in his bank and just needs someone to transfer it to in the United States. For my trouble I get to keep 40%. I don't know about you, but I was chomping at the bit to get started!
For the success of this transaction, i will like you to apply to bank and act as the only existing NEXT-OF-KIN to the deceased which our bank will replace the deceased account information through proper documentation in position of your own account.This transaction is risk-free,it will never harm your good reputation in your society because no one can trace the account, and on the instant of the transfer of the fund into your account, the chapter of this transaction will be closed entirely.

Note that in a business of this nature, the bank don't want to know your difference between the deceased country, religion or believe because our bank inheritance law is against that. So, it is a preference for us achieve this success without any problem.
So all I have to do is pose as the next-of-kin of these two people and BAM!, I get their money? How great is that?!! I guess banking laws overseas are a little different than in the United States. I think that falls under the guise of fraud- but who am I to question George? He looks like he has his shit together, right?
If you are interested in this transaction ,you are to go ahead and reply this mail immediately with the following information so that I will let you know the next step to follow immediately in order to finalize this transaction in a period of time.

Your full name, address, phone and fax numbers, occupation, Your nationality and your photograph for more details and how to transfer the fund into you bank account.

I am expecting your reply soonext so that we can procceed
Wow, that's all he needs to get started? I couldn't hit the reply button fast enough. I will go ahead and share this information with both of my loyal readers:
-------------------------------------

Mr. George,

Here is the information you requested:

Buster Hymen
2756 Sunrise Blvd.
Rancho Cordova, CA 95670

916-361-3888

Occupation: Cock model

Nationality: Mongoloid

I want to get started right away! I am tired of selling parts of my body to make ends meet. I sure could use 40% of that money.

Aloha,

Buster
-----------------------------

Now, just in case, for some cosmically remote chance that this is a fraud, I sent him an address to a Home Depot in Rancho Cordova, CA. The phone number is to a Vietnamese restaurant in Sacramento. In no time at all, Mr George sent a reply:
I received your mail and thanks so much for receiving your information and i am still waiting for your picture in your next mail for me to know whom i am dealing with very well anyway from your mail and your explanations proof that you are trust wordy to do this transaction with and that is what gives me more courage to give you the information to apply to bank immediately for the claim of the fund.
Despite the grossly disengaging run-on sentence, I feel like George and I have connected- he called me "friend"! So all I have to do now is send the claim letter he sent me to the bank.
Send it to the bank with this bank Email address:afdbf@staff-afdb.org and forward copy you send to the bank to me immediately you have done that so that I can keep record of that is going on at the same time and I will also like you to give me a call on +22676068005 so that we will discuss further.
I feel really good about this because George makes this final statement in his email:
Note what ever massage you receive from the bank just forward it to me first before you reply so that i will give you directives for us not to make mistake of any kind please.
Hear that? No mistakes! This guy is thorough.

He asked me again for my picture so I found a decent one to send. It is a very muscular gay man whom I have never met but downloaded his picture from freegaypics.com. I'm sure the gentleman won't mind if I send it to George. After all, if I can pretend to be the relative of a dead person to get part of their money, then why can't I pretend to be a huge gay man holding my penis in my hand as if I were masturbating??

Well, guess I better get cracking on that claim letter! I can't wait for that money and my massage!

October 12, 2007

First CA DMV experience

Today was quite a day as I had my first encounter with the CA DMV. As a matter of policy, all newly registered out of state vehicles must have an inspection to verify the VIN. So, in the 50 degree rainy weather, I drove my bike (spoiled by Hawaii weather) about 20 miles to the local DMV. I have to say that despite the rain, this was the most comfortable ride I have had in a long time. I didn't get cutoff once- something that would infuriate me on Hawaii roads.

I was surprised at the efficiency of this DMV, perhaps a fluke of nature, but my time was extended becasue the first inspector (key word, 'first') neglected to write down my engine number even though I pointed it out to her. In her defense, we were chit chatting a bit about the meaning of the word dork and how she thought it to mean the penis of a whale. SHe apologized for the comment after she said it but I told her I was an ex-submariner and that her comment was hardly worth apologize for.

However she did jack up my inspection so I had to wait for another guy to do it. I had to move my bike twice because of the rain and I was getting annoyed at the fact that I had to bring my title so that the State of CA can issue me a new title with their state info on it. WTF.

A few people asked me for my smog check but I informed them that motorcycles are exempt. I was starting to get worried but after about 2 hours (and that was WITH an appointment) I walked out with my new tags and license plate. Not too bad I suppose- a hell of a lot better than an initial registration at HI DMV.

One interesting comment the first woman made after inspecting my bike took me by surprise. I made the comment about having the bike inspected before I came out here so that it would still be legal but then she informed me that after 20 days all vehicles must be tagged regardless of the out of state tag. This is in direct conflict with what my wife told me and after I told the inspector I might finally have a one-up on my wife, she told me to forget trying to slam my wife, just tell her she has to swallow tonight.

A little unprofessional perhaps, but I assume she just felt comfortable around this old sailor and let it slip. I think I might still take her advice...