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August 20, 2010

Hawaii man files lawsuit for his addiction- to a video game

Yes, you read that right- a video game addiction. Not heroin, ice, poi or crack but an addiction to the online game Lineage II, a game so lame that it throttles the imagination that anyone could become addicted to it.

Craig Smallwood is filing a negligence suit against the game's creators because when he started playing (in 2004) there was no mention o the box of how a person with no life, no sense of self responsibility or no friends could become so involved in a fantasy online world that the person would not be able to get out of bed, feed themselves, bathe keep a job or talk to his family. In fact, it never occurred to Smallwood, during the 20,000 hours logged between 2004 and 2009, that h e might have an issue with his personal life and turn into a blame-shifting shut-in.

To provide some substance to the amount of time Smallwood played, there are 43,829 (8765 * 5) total hours that make up the 5 years he played this game. He played the equivalent of 2.28 years, or about 10 hours a day, every day for 5 years.

I wish him luck in his frivolous lawsuit, because any judge with an inkling of ethical substance will toss this case out quicker than Obama with a Special Olympics joke. Of course, we are talking about the Hawaii justice system so there is no telling what will happen to this guy. If he wins, and gets the settlement amount he is trying to scam, he will be able to afford somebody to change his diaper and wipe his ass, feed him, supply him with amphetamines so he doesn’t have to worry about “getting up” in the morning, and a bluetooth headset so he can communicate w/ family and friends.

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