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October 31, 2004

Trick or Treat?

Why don't kids say that as a question instead of just a statement? I think we should give kids more tricks. It helps prepare them for life in that there are assholes out there who aren't always nice.

Well, so many things have happened since my last post and I don’t know where to start. Tonight will be a short entry because my kidney stone is giving me some serious problems tonight. I wish this thing would just pass through already. After my CT, the doc said it was about 5mm in diameter. That’s bigger than it sounds, trust me. I think I might have to have an OB/GYN help me pass it.

So all the freaks are out tonight and they blend in nicely with all the trick or treaters. My main bitch tonight is the Halloween policy of the complex I live in- absolutely no trick or treating in the complex. Now I am sure the board consists of a bunch of old farts who stay in their apartments all day just trying to find something to bitch about but really, why this rule? It could be handled in so many ways to make it fun for the kids. Here is my plan.

  1. 1) If you want to poarticipate hang up a sign or decorations on your door for Octoberr 31 only. Signs must be taken down by November 1. (See how anal I am being? Even the board would like it)

  2. 2) Trick or treating shall be conducted from 5-8 p.m.

  3. 3) You must wear a costume to get candy. No freeloading assholes wearing shorts, t-shirt, flip-flops and carrying a pillowcase allowed.

  4. 4) Trick or treaters shall be prepared for "tricks". Premises shall be cleaned up by Noon on November 1st.

  5. 5) Costumes shall be in good taste. Girls shall not wear slutty costumes with skirts 2 inches below their coochie. Oh wait, their parents let them wear that kind of stuff to school so I guess Halloween would be alright.

This plan would keep the some of the kids off the dangerous streets. Most everyone on this street walks about 6-8 blocks Westward to where the houses are. The assholes driving around don’t even stop for pedestrians they just honk at them. Nice.

Maybe I should start going to the Board of Director’s meetings and raise some stink. Since I am just a renter they will probably just tell me to go shit in a hat.


I will now dork out completely and post a picture of me in my Tusken Raider costume.

Tricky Tusken

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