Aloha Dump

In the immortal words of Bugs bunny as he watches Elmer Fudd dry fire his shotgun, I too am out of bullets. Well, in a few weeks it will be official but I will dedicate November 21, 2005 as my own V-Day. I had a vasectomy, long overdue in fact, and I am now recovering from the 'minor surgery'. It was a fast process, only 20 minutes, and surprisingly 800mg Motrin keeps the pain at bay. There is no anesthesia involved with the procedure and is much safer than a woman's tubal. Guys, it is a myth that it is easier for the woman to get her tubes tied after she has given birth. The only thing that is easier is that she is already in the hospital for her delivery. That's it. If you are thinking of getting a permanent solution to not have any more kids get a vasectomy. I will spare you the details of the procedure but it is safe to say that when the doctor said after he bee sting feeling of the needle piercing the top of my scrotum I would feel a kick to the nuts as the needle ...

After 6 months the USS LOUISVILLE returned to Pearl Harbor yesterday- another successful deployment to the Western Pacific behind them. Watching a submarine fade off into the distance from the pier is one of the most sombering experiences for me. Although I have only missed one underway in the 12 years I have been riding subs, I have seen them on many occasions at sea and from the shore going off to protect our waters. A surfaced submarine one of the most loneliest-looking things I have ever seen, if there is such an anthropomorphic sight. It looks out of place, the only sign of life perhaps a few figures on top of hte sail poking their heads up and the white wash following behind. It is an especially uplifting sight to see one pull in. The environment that we submariners operate in is in a constant flux of conflict- the ocean around us always trying to find a way in, the hydraulic, air, water, and steam systems always trying to find a way out of their captive piping. It is an unforgiv...

I must give credit where credit is due. Tonight I had an almost epiphanic realization on the use of torture by the U.S. to gain information vital to national security. The US Senate voted 90-9 early last month to attach an amendment authored by Republican Senator John McCain to a defense-spending bill that would prohibit “cruel, inhuman or degrading” treatment of detainees in US custody. I am a big fan of Jon Stewart's The Daily Show and tonight’s episode had Senator John McCain as a guest. Stewart briefly mentioned the Senator’s captivity and abuse in Hanoi but McCain’s focus was on his bill to prevent torture. McCain made a point that made me step back and reconsider my stance on pro-torture. First, I must clarify that I think torture, however you want to interpret it, should be able to be a tool to gain information that could prevent harm or death to others, more specifically, administered to terrorists. The Geneva Convention already has a law in place to protect POW’s. The back...

I know this probably isn't news to anyone who has lived in one. Whenever a group of people are in close proximity to each other there is always conflict. For crying out loud, I rode submarines for almost 12 years- you can't get any closer than that to a group of people. My bathroom ceiling has rotted out because the guy above me has a leak from his shitter. It took weeks to convince him that it was actually his toilet however, even after a contractor ripped a hole in my ceiling to see the underside of his floor. The issue is money (isn't it always?) and who's insurance will cover the cost of the repair. An interesting caveat arose when the contractor pulled wet rotted newspaper from the pipes around the toilet. It was obvious to me that the people who renovated my bathroom (inlcuding new drywall ceiling tiles) saw the leak, and in true Hawaii work ethic fashion, just tried to cover up the problem instead of fixing it. So, I have a hole in my ceiling with a plastic bag t...

It's nice when you get a day off, especially in the military. We went to the water park (yes, I know, "What the heck is a water park doing in Hawaii?") and realized a few days before that it was military appreciation day. It was packed to the hilt and the lines were long but it was a good time. Especially frustrating was the long line to the Cliffhanger (not to mention the 30 minute wait outside the park to get in), a 50 foot or so drop straight down, because after a 20 minute wait the ride was over in about 2 seconds. Oh well, fun is always as fleeting as Jessica Simpson's acting career. If I may be shallow for a minute, and I will since this is my blog, I do feel better about my little potbelly after a day at the waterpark. My wife keeps telling me it's not that bad but then again she also says she wouldn't do Brad Pitt. I just can't trust someone who's judgment is that misaligned. Maybe I'm just getting desensitizing to the cottage cheese legs a...

I had my first racial slur hurled at me yesterday by some kids who live in my neighborhood. I will admit that I am suprised it took this long before I caught one- just over 12 years living in Hawaii. As I was driving back home after a ice day at the zoo with my family I noticed some kids in their mid-teens throwing a footbal around in the street at the entrance to the cul de sac to my apartment building. I have seen these kids before and watched them run in front of traffic chasing the football. I slowed and then stopped at the entrance as this kid with the football ran close to my truck not paying attention to what he was doing. Five or six of his friends were in the middle of the crosswalk but only half of them noticed I drove up. I gave a quick honk to let them know I was there. I didn't look at htem as I drove by and as I got a few truck lengths away from them one of them yelled "Who are you honking at, white boy?" I put my breaks on and was going to jump out and say ...

The family dressed as someone different this year but since I spent so much time on this costume last year I figured I would get some more mileage out of it. A Tusken, not a Storm Tropper, not a Sand trooper, not a (if you can believe th is) a mechanized Samurai. It is hard to believe kids and parents can be this clueless about Star Wars. This one lady said, "Nice costume! What are you?" It is a good thing she couldn't see the What-are-you-A-dumbass? look under the mask.