Aloha Dump

I can, with great accuracy, spot a snoot. I was standing in the only checkout line open in the electronics/computer/stationary section a few days ago with my son. Technically, you can stand in this line even if you have products from other areas of the store. It is a well-known exploit I have been taking advantage of for years because the line is usually shorter than the ones at the front. I have picked up a package of AAA batteries just so I could feel better about myself for using this line to buy the other products not found in this section of the store- clothes, automotive parts, children's toys, etc. I was fourth in line but I could see that the three people in front of me only had a few items. The lady at the register was busily checking a large pad of data looking for something that the customer evidently needed before moving on with her own life. This process was taking an unusually long amount of time was foiling my speedy checkout. I was holding a can of carburetor cleane...

24MAY01 0115 Slow midwatch* today with hardly any sleep oncoming. I got to the rack last off watch at 1400, watched a movie and went to sleep. I was woken up at 1515 because our forward-looking sonar wasn't transmitting and they wanted me to fix it. I got dressed and went up to Control only to find out that the dipshit sitting there didn't know how to operate it. I went back to the rack but was woken up again at 1640 because Martin had to yak, guess he isn't feeling good. Can't really get too pissed of at that. But for fuck sake, I need some sleep before I have to go on watch at midnight for 6 hours... Got to the rack about 1700. The messenger didn't wake me up for my midwatch so I was a little late relieving Senior Chief Ratti, not that I care. That guy sucks at relieving the watch on time. Actually he just sucks in general- as a sonarman, a leader and a human being. Sonar rider #1 let Ratti have it when Ratti started bitching about sonar rider #2 (names have been...

I freely admit to stealing that descriptor from Tollbooth Willy but it just so accurately depicts my feelings for Tommy Chong. I heard the old Cheech and Chong standup this morning "Let's Make a Dope Deal" on the classic rock station as I was driving in to work. When it was over the DJ said something to the effect of that piece being a great piece of rock and roll history. I fail to see the connection between a famous, only-one-movie-roll-having pothead and rock and roll history. Today is Tommy Chong's birthday, a testament that even though you can be brain dead your body can still function. I see Chong on local television ads for a store that sells bongs, incense, and pot head t-shirts. He looks like he just smoked a bowl before the shoot and I would venture to say the dweeb in the commercial with him got a hit or two off it. Pot, or pako lolo, as the locals call it, is an inherent part of the culture in Hawaii. Last year at the Kokua Festival the smell of cannabis w...

Not that it makes any difference but the Senate voted 63-34 in favor of making English the national language . This is probably going to ruffle the feathers of the pro-illegal immigration who say that people who live here don't need to learn English because "It's not actually our official language- nyaaaaaaaah!" So now people can't use that as a talking point. Big whoop- the English only amendment is tacked onto the immigration bill and that thing has to be voted on. If it does pass, 'English only' will be used as ammo for intolerant assholes who will point their finger and say "Learn English or get the hell outta here!" I'm not onboard with kicking item out because they can't speak English but if your doing business with me you need to be able to speak my language. I'm sure Francis Scott Key will now rest in piece knowing his arrangement might soon be the officially correct language.

I bought a book on Spanish Guitar about a year ago and decided to dust it off and give the songs a go. The collections in this book have a true Spanish sound or character and some of the songs I recognize. I decided to try and play Lagrima by Francisco Tarrega. Tarrega, considered by many to be the father of modern classical guitar, was born in Barcelona in 1854. Long before the British nanny's held the title for abusive and neglectful caretakers, Tarrega's nursemaid allowed young Tarrega to fall into a polluted irrigation ditch. This caused almost permanent blindness to the young boy. The word Lagrima means "tear" or "teardrops", and this piece obviously had a deep meaning for Tarrega. In the 15th century Spain gave birth to what would be known as the modern guitar. The typical Spanish chord progression- E Major, F Major, G major, F major, E major- is derived from the Phrygian mode and strengthens the natural tones of the guitar. The E Minor and A Minor is...

Political pundits and bullish bloggers have had a great time over the last 6 years with our President. I have enjoyed the clips of his Bush-isms but as the years rolled on, especially after September 11 (Sorry, but I refuse to call it 9/11 for the sake of having a clever retrospective buzzword), the coverage turned nasty- WMD doubts, troop safety, Patriot Act, and most of all Bush’s perceived reckless and ‘above the law’ attitude towards National Security. Although I am still waiting for a fair amount of tritium for my time travel device, I can honestly say that I would vote for G-dub again if I were to travel back to November of his first and second terms. And here’s why: Bush didn’t win by a landslide; his winning, period, was controversial. He isn’t the most eloquent orator that has ever graced the pressroom at the White House. There is a laundry list of things that could (and do) put him at the top of people’s shit list. But even after all his shortcomings I still have to give the ...

I’ve been thinking about this for some time now, formulating a both response and an opinion on the whole subject. I will now make a blog entry to emblazon my point of view onto the annuls of Internet commentary. I realized that the whole ‘illegal immigrants marching for their right to be citizens’ movement had a similar parallel to someone breaking into my house then demanding that I put them on the lease. Moreover, I feel insulted that they would take advantage of our American hospitality and track dog shit through our house by demanding, not asking, that they be made citizens of this country solely on a proxy of living here illegally in the first place. After watching and reading about the movement of illegal, who comprise more than just our neighbors to the south, I became morally miffed when they started to liken their cause to the late Martin Luther King. Forgive me if I do not see a parallel between a man trying to give U.S. citizens what is due them based on the Declaration of I...

No, not some G.I. Joe after school lesson of life, but a lesson in Sonar of which I have been a big fan of for the last 18 years. I have studied the effects of sonar in seawater since March of 1988 and have prided myself in knowing a lot about the subject since I am a submarine sonarman. I taught junior sonarman-wannabees, guys just starting their naval careers, and I taught seasoned salts. I have taught officers and even sonarmen of foreign navies. Today I learned something that I had skimmed right over in the "Sonar bible" a hundred times and never thought to really think about it. An essential part of sonar propagation theory is sound velocity, or how fast sound travels in the water. I know there are 3 things that directly affect sound velocity- temperature, salinity and pressure- and by how much each has an effect as their properties change. We have a unit in sonar that is a repeater of a transducer face that measure the actual sound velocity in the water we are in; it is...

This convicted Al-Qaeda member, tried as the lone gunman on the grassy knoll for the September 11 attacks, will be rotting in an isolated prison for the rest of his life. Denyed martyrdom, this Frenchman of Moroccan desent is nothing more than an ambulance chaser- a loser that wanted some attention to make up for his stupidity and failure as a terrorist, a solo act of the Three Stooges. He came into this country legally on an approved visa, something more people coming in to this country should take note of, but because the dumbass let his visa expire he was arrested and jailed before the September 11 attacks. The FBI started to dig a little deeper on this retard after the attacks and basically came up with the idea that since Moussaoui had bought knives, been to flight school and attended Al-Qaeda training camps that he must be a failed hijacker who didn't complete his mission on that fateful day. The FBI maintains that had Moussaoui told them the truth of his intentions that perh...

I was digging through my huge Rubbermaid box and found a memo pad from my first boat, circa 1990. Most of memo book, affectionately referred to the pocket brain, was falling apart and still had the smell of amine, the chemical in the submarine's atmosphere used to take out moisture. This keeps electrical components free of humidity as well as making your nose as dry as a box of Triscuits. There were 3 entries under Funny/Disgusting things that happened . It immediately caught my attention and I now share a day in the life of a submariner. 1. Karl Kreulach pulled my pen out of the shitter. This may sound disgusting but what made it funny to us all was the fact that I still had a turd in the shitter. For those of not familiar with fast attack submarine toilets I must go into their design for just a moment. The shitters are stainless steel and the flushing mechanism is a handle that opens a ball valve at the bottom of the bowl. A pressurized tank pushes seawater through the pipes and...

eFax was dodging my request to cancel my account for weeks and I finally had to log on and have a chat session with a representative. I think this person is a used car salesman on the side. Welcome to chat. The session has been accepted. {Megan F.} Hello, Greg. Welcome to j2 Global online support. I am Megan, your online live Support Representative. How may I assist you? {TK} Evidently my request to cancel my account 2 months ago has not been processed. looking back at some emails it appears that my spam filter grabbed the email that said i need to contact you to cancel my account {Megan F.} I'm sorry to hear that you wish to cancel. Could you please provide me your Fax number and PIN for verification purposes? {TK} yes, hang on I have to look at the email you sent with that info. {TK} 1-808-867-5309 0909 (changed to protect the innocent) {TK} It was a great service; I just don’t need it anymore. My job has changed and i no longer require your service {Megan F.} Thank ...