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February 21, 2005

Meeting new people, sharing...

Conversations have a funny way of evolving into crude bodily functions here at my new command and I am having a blast meeting my fellow crewmembers. I have duty today, for you civilians that means I have to stay onboard this boat for 24 hours, and a smokepit conversation got me cracking up.

I was telling these guys about my colon blow pills that I take and how they make my farts smell like a stockyard in the summertime. One of the guys, let's call him Fred, told a story about his uncle who would eat this concoction of milk, cucumbers, vinegar, salt and pepper, and some other things that you normally wouldn't think go together with each other.

So, Fred asks his uncle why the hell he's eating that nasty stuff and his uncle says, "I got court tomorrow." So this guy eats a foul mixture of a witch's brew so that he can fumigate a court room with his ass.

I love this place.

When I came in for duty today the doghouse had been fished out of the drink. It stunk and was stained from the shit that is on the bottom of the harbor.

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