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February 9, 2006

Glass enclosures

I was reading a new posting in my apartment elevator this morning on my way to work. The postings are usually littered with bad grammar and spelling so I usually ignore them but this morning I caught a line that read, "Glass is the future."

I was confused since glass has been used since the 4th century but, remembering Hawaii schools suck, I started the post at the beginning.

In a nutshell the resident manager is asking owners to vote "yes" on a proposition to install glass enclosures on the lanais (patio). A paragraph in the notice mentioned being able to put things on the lanai like exercise bikes, toys, tv's and such. Again I was confused because the current rules state that nothing except "approved" lanai furniture shall be put on the lanais. This rule is in effect because having other things on your lanai would make it look ugly. Again, I was confused because even with a GLASS enclosure people can still see into the lanai.

Against better judgement, I talked to the resident manager on my way out who was casually talking to the security guard about the inconsistency with house rules.

The manager explained to me that because the lanai is encased in glass that it becomes an extension of your living space and therefore is not subject to the rules of patio restrictions. I reminded him that current rules prohibit extra things on the lanai because of the eyesore issue.

"Yes, but people will tint their glass enclosures or use curtains", he said.

I retorted, "But if the enclosure is glass it will still be an eyesore because you can see through the glass to the items placed on the lanai. Why not let people put things on their lanais right now?"

"Well, because people will tint or put curtains up".

"I won't. Will I get hit for having things on my lanai?"

"Well, people will put up curtains or..."

I left in mid sentence because this idiot could not grasp the idiocy of the house rules I was trying to make fun of.


  1. First of all, only The Golden Girls can use the world "lanai." Second, TINTED glass enclosures? What kind of white-trash gangsta wannabe dumbass idea is that? Don't you get Queer Eye out there? Has no one any taste? This post made me sad.

  2. Who the fuck watches Golden Girls?

    'Lanai' is a Hawaiian word so people that live out here would use it, if nothing else out of habit. I still haven't been suckered into the pigeon speak though.

    Since you live in NYC with snow, rain, pollution and other things that naturally block the sunlight I can understand why tinted windows on a dwelling is a foreign concept. The sun shines all the time here so I can see why tinting the large glass area would be feasable, even if it might be considered a designing faux paux by the Queer Eye.

    Not that I am defending the retards out here for their poor taste in lanai enclosures, but I have a hard time when a homosexual, or anyone for that matter, tells me what I should eat and wear or how to decorate or groom myself.

    I must say that I did enjoy occasionally watching the show but was disappointed in all the spin offs- Straight Eye for the Queer Guy, Slim Eye for the Fat Guy, Republican Eye for the Democrat Guy, and my least favorite, Sane Eye for the Jihadist Guy.

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