UNION, Mo. - Dorothy Torrez became suspicious when she noticed makeup on the forehead of the newborn baby her sister-in-law was claiming to have delivered a few days earlier.
She rubbed the makeup off and found a strawberry-red birthmark that matched the description provided by investigators who had been combing the Franklin County countryside for a baby abducted on Friday.
I think the first order of business is to give the kidnapper, Shannon Beck, a good old-fashioned horsewhipping followed by a traditional Singaporean caning.
Oh, I almost forgot, then death by hanging. Or keelhauling. Whichever the bleeding heart liberals will protest against the most.