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June 2, 2007

Study says soda causes premature aging.

But that isn't enough to scare me from opening another Mountain Dew, or as some refer to the Dew as 'Nectar of the gods'.

A study in the U.K. linked the DNA destroyer to good old sodium benzoate, found in such things as Dr. Pepper, Coke, and pickles. Basically, it robs the DNA of essential oxygen needed to effectively splice and reattach vital coding in the helix.

U.K. Professor Peter Piper of Sheffield University has this to say. Yeah I know, he does have a funny name.

"These chemicals have the ability to cause severe damage to DNA in the mitochondria to the point that they totally inactivate it: they knock it out altogether," Piper said. "The mitochondria consumes the oxygen to give you energy and if you damage it — as happens in a number of diseased states — then the cell starts to malfunction very seriously. And there is a whole array of diseases that are now being tied to damage to this DNA—Parkinson's and quite a lot of neuro-degenerative diseases, but above all the whole process of aging."

I wonder if Jack Daniels has any anti-aging effects when mixed with Coke?

But Mother Nature does have a sense of humor. A Chilean black widow spider has been found to have a natural contraceptive- spermicide! The 7 year old study was based on some farmers who had super human boners after having been bitten by the spiders. Eat your heart out Spiderman- climb on walls or have the virility of an 18 year old. Tough call.


  1. I'm sure Spidey's got a superhuman capacity to, umm...throw his webs around. Let's give him his due.

  2. The Coke-effect is ofset by the Jack Daniels much as the blackstrap rum offsets the ginger-beer in a Dark and Stormy. Some people insist on Gosling's Black Seal and Barritt's Ginger Beer from Bermuda, but Cruzan Blackstrap Navy from St. Croix works equally well.