...cast the first stone.



So the saga of my kidney stone continues for the people who just can't get enough of my medical problems. The urologist has told me to piss in this conspicuously orange bottle for 24 hours starting on Sunday so that I can return the bottle to him on Monday morning. I sincerely hope he has no expectations for a full bottle.

I read the directions on this bottle and I noticed this model has a preservative agent in it. I guess rotten piss just can't be as useful as a fresh batch. I am supposed to keep the bottle chilled while there is piss in it like some kind of freaky cocktail. Maybe there is room on the bottom shelf of my fridge.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Commanding Officer sacked

It seems that men in high places still haven't learned to keep their dorks zipped up. Capt. Scott Bawden, Commodore of Submarine Squadron 17 in Bangor, WA, was relieved of commnad after having "lost the confidence" of his boss. If you follow submarine news you will remember that Bawden was the Commodore who axed some of the crew of the USS Columbia after a hazing incident. /hat tip The Stupid Shall be Punished What comes around goes around? It has been quoted by a Chief who knew Bawden that morale will probably get better now that Bawden has been shitcanned. Sounds like a few Commodores I know. But there is more to this story than a guy who perhaps can't do his job anymore. Bawden was busted sleeping with someone elses wife, a Chief's wife, no less, IN HIS OWN command. Will the top brass save a onetime fair-haired boy's career, or will he end up "walking the plank?" What a jackass. It's bad enough that the Officers screw the enlisted, but ...
Read more

wtf, over....

Bernie Mac died at age 50 the other day, Isaac Hayes died today at 65. I guess show business can be rough. Only the good die young. - Billy Joel I didn't listen to Bernie Mac's stand up except for maybe a few minutes as I was channel surfing. He was playing in Vegas a few weeks ago when I went for the weekend with my wife. I have posted about Isaac Hayes when he decided to leave South Park after the creators dogged the stupidity that is Scientology. Hayes didn't seem to have a problem when Matt Stone and Trey Parker made fun of all the other world religions. I didn't read the story about Hayes but I can only guess he didn't die by falling off a suspended bridge while on fire, only to fall off and become impaled on a pointy rock, and then mauled apart by a hungry bear and mountain lion- then ending in a violent release of his bowels. Cosmically ironic if it did though. On top of these weekend deaths, visitors to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing have been murdered. The fa...
Read more

Superstitions

I have been entertaining my parents who flew in from the mainland and I have been extremely busy playing tour guide. I took them to the Big Island for a day trip in hopes to see the lava flow I photographed in July. Note to self: Check with the Volcanoes National Park website to find out if the lava is flowing at the last place you saw it 3 months earlier. That would have saved us a trip to the trail. Madam Pele (the Hawaiian goddess of fire) is very unpredictable. Since I arrived on this island 13 years ago I have heard of superstitions that range from believable (if I had enough shots of Jack Daniels) to downright stupid. AAMOF, at dinner with my parents the day before we left for the Big Island a waitress cautioned my mother against taking some of the sand from Black Sand Beach home with her. The bad luck that would accompany my mother sounded more like factual consequence than a “step-on-a-crack-break-your-mother’s-back” nursery rhyme. I rolled my eyes. In fact, at Volcanoe...
Read more