Aloha Dump

WE SPENT FIVE years acting hysterically, like a nation that was in a fight with Ricky Ricardo. We were insane people, screaming about politics, shoving tiny American flags on the corners of our news shows, convincing ourselves that flipping houses was a real job. There was a moment there when we even considered shunning French fries. But in 2006 it all changed. This was the year of adulthood, of sobriety, of pragmatism: the year of acting reasonably. The kind of year when you calmed down, thought it through, weighed your options and realized that there is no upside in telling the media that, yes, it does kind of suck when the vice president of the United States shoots you in the face. All of a sudden, we decided to approach events unemotionally. In fact, we were downright boring. At this point in Vietnam, college kids were destroying campuses and growing incredibly unflattering facial hair. In 2006, we asked a bunch of retirees to meet for a study group about Iraq. If they had done a b...

Can someone tell me where to send Cindy Sheehan and Koffi Anon sympathy cards? I'm sure they are devastated. On second thought, I'll just send the cards to Hell; they can pick them up later. And tonight starts the eternal pineapple-ass-reaming as Saddam enters through the gates of Hell- Abandon all hope, asshole. I only wish our justice system doled out sentence this quickly. Good old fashioned hanging Here is a reenactment of Saddam's execution. For those of you feint of heart, suck it up.

This has to be the biggest "no shitter" in the history of baseball. Courtesy of The Onion: SAN FRANCISCO—With the publication of a book detailing steroid use by San Francisco Giants superstar Barry Bonds, two San Francisco Chronicle reporters have corroborated the claims of Bonds' steroid abuse made by every single person who has watched or even loosely followed the game of baseball over the past five years. Read more.

Joseph Barbera, half of the team that founded the Hanna-Barbera Studios in 1954, died today. I would imagine that most kids today have never heard of Hanna-Barbera but my generation sees these two men as the creators of some of the most lovable icons of pop culture- Tom and Jerry, The Flintstones, The Smurfs, Yogi Bear, The Jetsons, Johnny Quest, Huckleberry Hound, Top Cat, Quick Draw McGraw, Mogilla Gorilla, Scooby-Doo, The Snorks, Atom Ant, Secret Squirrel, Space Ghost, Birdman, The Banana Splits, Josie and the Pussycats, the animated Harlem Globetrotters, Superfriends, Jabberjaw, Captain Caveman, Hong Kong Fooey, The Snorks and even the Go-Bots. To this day, at the age of 37, I have stop channel surfing when I come across Tom & Jerry. It is refreshing to still see animation showing good old fashioned animal-on-animal violence that hasn't been censored by an overly sensitive minority who hates the cartoon. I do have my current favorite animation shows like Family Guy, Futuram...

I had to shake my head when I read the headline called Why Teens do Stupid Things . The results, announced this week, were published in the September issue of the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest. So, why do they do stupid things, you ask? Here is the reason: "...the desire for acceptance among peers wins out in the decision-making process of a young mind. Teens often decide that the benefits of risky behavior immediate gratification or peer acceptance." Teens also take 170 milliseconds longer to ponder situations than adults. That's it, 170 milliseconds? My computer has more lag than that when I am surfing the internet. Good job, jackasses. You just confirmed what parents of teenagers have known for the last 300 years or so. If you would like to read some more revleations in teen behavior like these subjects- Why Teens are Lousy at Chores, Human Nature: What We Learned in 2006, A Brief History of Human Sex and Why Teens Don't Care- then visit the ...

A comment by Opinionnation on my last post about the SD Senator reaffirmed just how much class the Republican party has over the Dems. Oh, the GOP has its embarrassments to be sure, but there seems to be less whinning and venom when events unfold that aren't in their favor and when things do go their way they seem to be more graceful in acceptance. Senator Johnson is doing pretty well considering he had his head cut open and coverage continues on his status. Opinionation commented on the press coverage Steve Centanni and his cameraman recieved when they were held by terrorists. The supposed $2M paid for their release was like a dog biscuit thrown to a hungry Rotweiler when that tidbit made it to press. The NYT focused more on the staged conversion to Islam of the two hostages than anything else. I am sure a guick search could reveal more results of mind numbing behavior from the Dems, thier poor loser crying aside, but I am off to fight the holiday crowds and torment the local Sant...

Not many people have heard of South Dakota’s Governor, Mike Rounds, but he could soon be one of the most important people of the post mid-term Democratic sweep of the both the Senate and the House. Including the two Independents who are working the Democratic mooring lines around the cleats, the Democrats enjoy just a 51-49 margin of power in the Senate; certainly not the sweeping blowout they would have you believe judging by their actions the day after election day. But, like in a company who’s CEO owns 51% of the stock, that’s all the Dems need to keep the GOP in limbo. The Senator from South Dakota, Tim Johnson(D) , suffered a stroke yesterday during an interview and had to undergo emergency brain surgery. What does this have to do with Governor Mike Rounds? Let’s have a little civics lesson. If a senator cannot fulfill his term then it is up to the Governor of the state to which the senator was elected to fill the slot with someone of his/her choosing. So, if the Governor is Repub...

The freaks are running for cover until the 14th of December because Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter have aligned themselves in a very small section of the sky. In fact, to the naked eye, they will look like a lopsided triangle. These planets, especially Mars, may be hard to spot—even with binoculars—because of the twilight glare. Given a bird’s-eye view of the solar system, you’d notice that relative to Earth, these planets are situated on the far side of the sun right now. All three planets orbit the sun eastward—or as seen from Earth, in the direction of the sunrise point on the horizon. Because Mercury orbits the sun much more quickly than Earth does, Mercury will drop closer to the glare of the sun day by day. As seen from Earth, Mercury will pass behind the sun in early January. The Earth, meanwhile, orbits the sun more quickly than either Mars or Jupiter. Because the Earth travels eastward at a faster clip, these two planets will appear to climb upward in the dawn twilight throughout ...

I apologize for the sparseness of my posts but I have been very busy with work, preparing for retirement, playing World of Warcraft, job hunting, and finishing up my Masters. Below I have some quotes from people in my Masters class, some of whom only 1 class from graduation. I have followed these people, painstakingly, from class to class and I dread seeing them every time. I would love to play just 10 minutes of a conversation in our classroom but I’m afraid the excruciatingly long diatribes, most of which have nothing to do with the professors questions, would cause you to go into a catatonic trance from which only a whack from a wooden blackjack would break. “He do evaluations…” “Many bidnesses…” “dispendable” “Donalds Rumfeld” “helf care” “Po-leese” “These are mines…” (used as a possessive, not floating explosives) “They might axe you a pacific question” (Got a two-fer there) “You can see favoritism in all faucets of the organization” “People will put on a fas-kahd” “lackadaisy att...

The Navy Safety Center (NSS) is the gestapo equivalent of safety management. I don't pay much attention to them because the weekly harangue of motorcycle safety enforcement has numbed me to the point of apathy. How many times do I need to hear about wearing a gay refelctive vest while I ride? But I digress. I sent the following letter to NSS and it is self-explanatory as to my intent. ------------------------------------------------------------ Research the people, not their actions. STS1(SS) Greg Smith I am writing in response to the article by Jack Dorsey, Off-Base Crashes Proving A Safety Issue For Sailors (Virginian-Pilot, Oct 18, 2006). After reading the consequences for various vehicular infractions- getting a ticket before a holiday weekend (mandatory prepackaging of personal items to send to next of kin), going 1 mph over the posted speed limit (loss of driving privileges for 45 days), and demotions/fines- and analyzing the current social dynamics of military members, it is...

Beween the innocence of infancy and the recklessness of maturity comes the unique specimen of humanity known as the Submariner. Submariners can be found in bars, in arguments, in bed, in debt and intoxicated. They like receiving mail, mid month paychecks, nude pin ups, sympathy, complaining and beer. A Submariners secret ambition is to change places with the Captain for just one trip, to own a brewery and to be loved by everyone in the world. A Submariner is a Sir Galahad in a Japanese brothel, a psychoanalyst with Readers Digest on the table, Don Quixote with a discharge note, the savior of mankind with his back teeth awash, Valentino with a fiver in his pocket and democracy personified in a Red Chinese prison cell. A Submariner is a provider in war and a parasite in peace. No one is subjected to abuse, wrongly accused, so often misunderstood by so many as a Submariner. He has the patience of Job, the honesty of a fool and the heaven sent ability to laugh at himself. When he returns h...

Ohio State Defeats Michigan 42-39 In Ultimately Meaningless Game November 23, 2006 | Onion Sports COLUMBUS, OH—In what had been touted as a college-football matchup for the ages, the top-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes defeated the No. 2 Michigan Wolverines 42-39 Sunday in a game that, while exciting, ultimately made no real impact on the football landscape and had no significant effect on the national rankings. Ohio State coach Jim Tressel echoed many of Henne's statements in a press conference during which he had obvious problems staying interested. "This was a tough game for us," Tressel said. "By which I mean it was tough to get excited about it. Playing Michigan should be special, but going into this game, we knew that no matter what happened on the field, the BCS polls would have us either first or second. There was really no point in playing this at all." Read the entire story here.

It seems that men in high places still haven't learned to keep their dorks zipped up. Capt. Scott Bawden, Commodore of Submarine Squadron 17 in Bangor, WA, was relieved of commnad after having "lost the confidence" of his boss. If you follow submarine news you will remember that Bawden was the Commodore who axed some of the crew of the USS Columbia after a hazing incident. /hat tip The Stupid Shall be Punished What comes around goes around? It has been quoted by a Chief who knew Bawden that morale will probably get better now that Bawden has been shitcanned. Sounds like a few Commodores I know. But there is more to this story than a guy who perhaps can't do his job anymore. Bawden was busted sleeping with someone elses wife, a Chief's wife, no less, IN HIS OWN command. Will the top brass save a onetime fair-haired boy's career, or will he end up "walking the plank?" What a jackass. It's bad enough that the Officers screw the enlisted, but ...

After playing cat-and-mouse with Russian submarines during the Cold War, it appears that the U.S. will now start playing with China, but in coordinated exercises. How ironic, since a Chinese submarine surfaced near the USS Kitty Hawk last month. Of course it took this long for the Commander of the Pacific Fleet, Admiral William Fallon, to confirm it (Navy Times, 11/27/06, p.26). This is a significant event in the world of Anti Submarine Warfare (ASW) for a few reasons. First, a submarine surfaced near an aircraft carrier undetected. The carrier is the life blood of the battle group. It must be protected because it has no real defenses of its own to combat an enemy submarine. It does have aircraft that can find them but they are not on the hunt 24/7, only when a suspected threat is imminent. It is up to the ASW capable vessels in the battle group to find enemy submarines and what better tool to use than another submarine. Although the article does not identify what kind of submarine sur...

Playstation 3 Ridiculousness It has been four days since the debut of the Playstation 3 and I am still shaking my head in disgust at the response by the people who bought them- stampedes, robberies, assaults, and shootings. Way to go assholes. I remember a few years ago it was almost the same thing, just short of a soccer induced mob riot. There were plenty of PS3's on eBay all going for over $2000; one console went for $30,000. Yes, you read that right. "Hmmm, do I want a car or a PS3?" Idiots. All of them. I put part of the blame on Sony for only sending out 400,000 of the consoles. No less than 1 million would have been my marketing strategy and my first impulse was to make Sony pay for the damages caused by thier games. Then I reevaluated that rash statement and realized that Sony is just capitalizing on moronic infatuation or greed on a cosmic level. Love that capitalism! Drunk Drivers Beware I remember driving back from the clubs and then realizing I was driving up ...

Videos like this bring out the best and the worst in people. Ironically, it also brings out people who claim to have been stunned, citing a quick Google search on the "effects of stun guns" to back up a claim that you can’t get up after being hit with 40K+ volts. Here is the video via NBC News. The Iranian Truth continues to cover the story here. The ALL CAPS entries on blogs surrounding this event above all point to one particular incident that is supposed to absolve this student- he was heading to the exit. While this might be true he did not cooperate with the rent-a-cops and became belligerent, albeit we only know as much as what the shitty cameraman caught after the incident started. Loud, vocal outbursts of obscenity are enough to give anyone pause as to the intentions of the screamer let alone a peace officer/rent-a-cop/campus security. "Get your hands off me!" doesn't sound like a cooperative person. The police are there to investigate a person who doe...

Anyone who thumbs their nose at the world’s only surviving superpower, openly threatens a powerful neighbor with annihilation, and flaunts his pursuit of nuclear weapons… err, power, has to be a total whack job or an Islamic fanatic, but I repeat myself. Iran’s president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, despite his good looking exterior, has an inside that burns with the fire of Jihad. It is no secret that he wants Israel to be a memory and it seems that he has been preparing for the final battle with Israel for a long time. Let’s take a stroll down Ahmadinejad’s past, shall we? But first, a little lesson in Islam. From Wikipedia: The Mahdi (مهدي translit: Mahdī, also Mehdi; "Guided One" ), in Islamic eschatology, is the prophesied redeemer of Islam, who will change the world into a perfect Islamic society alongside the Prophet Jesus before Yaum al-Qiyamah (literally "Day of the Resurrection"). The "hdi" of "Mahdi" refers to the Arabic root "هدی" ...

My last class of the semester was an interesting one because the first two hours of the class, Compensation Management (MGT 645), had nothing to do with the topic. As I returned from the bathroom I came in on the professor, who is a lawyer here in Hawaii, on a semi-tirade about our presence in Iraq and how it is a bad thing that we are there. As I looked around the room, observing 6 Army soldiers in uniform and several other armed forces people in this night class, they sat quietly and listened to this guy tell them that he knew 3 years ago it was a bad idea for us to go into Iraq. Maybe he had that gut feeling, as did many anti- war protestors, but I finally had to speak up and tell him that he was right only in hindsight. He asked why we were there and I made the unfortunate mistake of leading off with a mention of oil. He became ecstatic and started, no doubt, a lawyer induced cross examination of me. “So Bush lied! We went there for oil, is that what you’re saying?!” Several studen...

Base jumping, for those of you who aren't familiar with this sport, involves jumping from fixed objects. BASE is an acronym that stands for: B uilding A ntenna- uninhabited tower like a radio mast S pan- bridge, arch, or dome E arth- cliff or natural formation We've seen Bond do it countless times and these BASE jumpers always show up on Extreme sport videos. It is very dangerous but looks like one of the best adrenaline rushes a person could get. They are professionals and I'm sure a lot of training and theory to practice comes into play. You wouldn't want to just jump of a building without checking the wind conditions first. Bungee jumping is almost like BASE jumping (although it has been around longer) but, after experiencing a short free fall, unlike the BASE jumpers the bungee jumper is safely attached to something and then springs back up. I use the word 'safe' in the loosest of forms because there are plenty of stories of bungee mishaps involving miscalcu...

After reviewing the election results for the different issues that were on the ballots this year I have mixed feelings about the outcomes of the initiatives and propositions. For example, Arizona voters elected to make English the official state language. At first I thought, “Good for them” but then as I read how many states have made English as their official state language I realized that it really doesn’t matter. English Only California, believe it or not, made English its official language in 1986 yet still shells out a lot of money for multilingual paper products. Here are some statistics from USEnglish.org : - The cost of multilingual ballots and translations represented one-eighth of Los Angeles County?s $16 million expense in the Nov. 2004 general election. (Source: European Commission) - The City of San Francisco must spend $350,000 for each language that a document is translated into under the city's bilingual government ordinance. (Source: Janet Ng, Asian Week.com, Jun...

I woke up to a Democrat controlled Congress and House, Rumsfeld's resignation, a new Speaker of the House and the blogosphere in a tizzy. Bad day for Republicans, good day for terrorists. The people have spoken and we had a good run Republican's. No matter, the same thing happened to Clinton and Reagan; the only thing left to do is see what happens in 2 years, especially with crazy Pelosi leading the way. I find it unsurprising that the moonbats were donning their tinfoil hats in celebration over their victories, showing just as much poor sportsmanship for their wins today as their losses 2 years ago. At least Arnold won his second term. Gay marriage bans, illegal immigration reform, stem cell research, and marijuana possession- all of which I could give 2 shits for right now- were waving in an ebb and flow last night, some made it and some didn't. Coincidentally, none of these issues were on the ballots here in Hawaii. In fact, some places here were late in opening for the...

"I admit it. I'M AN ASSHOLE!" -Saddam Hussein, former despotic dictator of Iraq who, by the NYT admission, had a "nuclear primer". What a great way to wake up, pumpkin spice coffee brewing, egg-in-a-basket cooking on the stove, and Saddam's death sentence all over the Internet. The only time I have been this happy about the Iraqi dictator and his family was when I heard that his two sons were killed by good old fashioned American bombs, and the fact that one of his sons was still alive long enough to see an American face kneeling over him as he breathed his last. I am sure a quick search will yield more than enough information about this trial nad the verdict but it is worth posting a link to a video of Saddam's reaction, defiant to the end like the crazy asshole he is. Guilty Verdict Video

This story is beyond shocking. The New York Times is complaining that documents released by the Bush organization, under pressure from Congress, via a website contain sensitive information. So now the NYT is worried about leaking sensitive information? Their hatred of Bush must really be blinding if they are allowing themselves to look like 1) Complete hypocrates, or, 1) Complete jackasses. A very interesting sidebar to this story, and one the NYT probably didn't anticipate with this "Bush screwed up again" post, is that the NYT will now have to answer for their "There is no threat in Iraq" position. Whoops. Now they know how John Kerry feels after making a stupid remark. The Captain's Quarters had some damning paragraphs directed at the Times that I also echo: Actually, we have much, much more. All of these documents underscore the threat posed by Saddam Hussein and show that his regime continued their work on banned weapons programs. We have made this case...

Once again the Senator from Massachusetts has made an ass out of himself. Addmittedly, I am blogging about this a little late but it seems Kerry has apologized, sort of, for his remarks and this makes for a good update to a story that has rallied the military against Kerry- once again. But our troops know how to take it all in stride : I won't bother going over the details of his botched joke suffice it to say that it wasn't botched. He said exactly what he meant and it was only after his nervous laughs compensating for an otherwise silent crowd that he realized he slipped. There is a lot of criticism on the blogosphere from Democrats who are chastizing us for our chastizing of Kerry. It seems we are not to make fun of a Democrat's stupid remarks even though the Dems have been doing it with Bush for the last 7 years. But there is a little more in the substance of what Kerry said that differentiates it from Bush's butchering of the English language. Here is part of Kerry...

In physics, wave-particle duality holds that light and matter can exhibit properties of both waves and particles. But how can this be? This is one of the most mind boggling videos I have watched and it interests me immensely because of the section on interference patterns. Although the video is talking aobut quantum physics, interference patterns show up in the underwater world of sonar because of the Lloydd Mirror Effect- basically, sound is reinforced or cancelled out by sound waves of inverse proportion. Light and matter makes interference patterns also in this dual slit experiment however, when the process is observed, the particles behave differently- like they know they are being watched! Enjoy.

Enron Executives- Flight of Fancy There are several distinct tipping points throughout history for people to learn from: military strategists have Vietnam, archaeologists have Lucy, and managers have Enron. Enron will forever go down in the annals of managerial and accounting practices as the single most costly scam to affect thousands of people, even the economy itself! Enron has been compared to a classic Greek tragedy of historical proportions. Some people claim the Enron scandal was born out of the constructs of good old fashioned American capitalism or from the deregulation of California’s energy policies. In reality, the whole despicable scandal can be boiled down to one thing- greed. Enron was a company that dealt less with substance than with reputation. It sold energy, a commodity it did not produce but bought and then sold. Enron actually traded in more than 800 commodities, ranging from lumber and steel to bandwidth and weather risk management. California legislature deregu...

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. I can't help laughing everytime, and I mean everytime, I watch it.

There are many great submarine Naval heroes in our 108 years history- CDR Slade Cutter , CAPT John Cromwell , ADM Eugene Fluckey , and Commander Howard Gilmore - officers who reshaped the course of a war, held their shipmates in higher regard than themselves, and made decisions that were based on what’s best for the crew. How I wish to be surrounded by such men and not the clueless, incompetent “leaders” that are doing nothing but shaping their fitreps. While at sea, submariners are on a steady diet of shit sandwiches. Inherent to life at sea in the nuclear Navy, the stresses of keeping the water outside of the boat, preventing collisions with other vessels, and the routines of drills, maintenance, and training all contribute to the Dagwood-sized sandwich we are forced to choke down. After 4 years a sailor is supposed to be able to go to shore duty and shake off the rigors of sea duty. It is a time to relax, spend some well deserved time with family, and burn some of that leave that ha...

My mother-in-law forwarded me an email that had the following 17 pictures of the attack on Pearl Harbor. I have been to the Arizona Memorial several times but do not recognize any of the shots she sent. I am planning on priting the shots out and giving them to the Chief Historian at the Memorial. Many of the images show enemy planes still in the air, our planes and ships on fire, and unidentified structures exploding. They are very chilling for me to look at as I can easily identify specific parts of the harbor, parts that I have riden through while on a tour boat or the inbound/outbound submarines I have been attached to. The pictures represent a definitive result of what can happen if intelligence is doubted, defenses are lowered, and foreign policy is ineffective.

Hubble's Deepest View of the Universe Unveils Bewildering Galaxies across Billions of Years What did the first galaxies look like? To help answer this question, the Hubble Space Telescope has just finished taking the Hubble Ultra Deep Field (HUDF), the deepest image of the universe ever taken in visible light. Pictured above, the HUDF shows a sampling of the oldest galaxies ever seen, galaxies that formed just after the dark ages, 13 billion years ago, when the universe was only 5 percent of its present age. The Hubble Space Telescope's NICMOS and new ACS cameras took the image. Staring nearly 3 months at the same spot, the HUDF is four times more sensitive, in some colors, than the original Hubble Deep Field (HDF). Astronomers the world over will likely study the HUDF for years to come to better understand how stars and galaxies formed in the early universe. Representing a narrow "keyhole" view stretching to the visible horizon of the universe, the Hubble Deep Field...

I sent a letter to Judge Koetle, who has just appeased terrorism in the most sickening way, admonishing him to exert the maximum allowable punishment on former lawyer and scumbag Lynn Stewart. Normally, 'lawyer' and 'scumbag' are found in the same sentence but for this woman there are different circumstances. Stewart smuggled messages from her client, a terrorist who was in jail, to his terrorist buddies. The judge said her crimes had "potentially lethal consequences" and called them "extraordinarily severe criminal conduct." He then proceeded to give her 30 months in prison, which she can appeal (while she remains a free person). Remember the old Cheech and Chong courtroom skit? "Bailiff. Whack his pee-pee!" Instead of getting 30 years in prison, which the prosecutors wanted, for betraying her country, Stewart gets a sentence that amounts to little more than a joke. But could we expect anything less from a Clinton appointed judge? Judge K...

It was quite a wake up Sunday morning as my bed was shaking like a frat house bed on homecoming night. Hawaii had experienced its hardest earthquake in 20 years and it showed. The islands experience thousands of earthquakes a year but many of them aren’t even noticeable except by seismographs. This is only the second earthquake I have felt (that I can remember, that is. As a child living in CA my mother tells me we had them all the time), the last one was when I was in Guam. The 6.6 magnitude earthquake sent our son running into our bedroom with eyes as wide as saucers. My wife grabbed him and I rolled over our 3 month old daughter who was in bed with us. The whole ordeal lasted about 25 seconds. I thought it was fun and didn’t panic; my wife, a California resident for most of her life, dismissed it as if the quarter had just run out of the vibrating bed in a cheap motel. I got up and surveyed my living room and the only proof of a shakedown was a cigar tube that had rolled onto the ...