Aloha Dump

This is absolutely one of the most original and hilarious homemade videos I have ever seen. Little kids be warned

Friday, April 21 was the 106th annual Submarine Birthday Ball, and event that celebrates the history of the U.S. submarine force with a good program, dinner, drinking, throwing up, mingling with old friends, more drinking and dancing. The program has been the same for the last 18 years: a guest speaker drones on about something related to submarine history and then a Command Master Chief, who acts as the MC, then introduces all the Chief of the Boats (COB) on the waterfront. It is a recognition ceremony consisting of the COB’s standing in front of the masses. You can tell who the really good COB’s are because the crew carries them in their chair to the stage- it resembles more of a Bar Mitz Vah. USS LOUISVILLE Chief of the Boat Preceding dinner was the tolling of the bells performed by a surviving WWII submarine veteran. A bell is rung once as each of the WWII submarine lost in the war is announced. A slide show runs as the names are called showing the sub and members of the crew. It i...

There is a disparaging contrast between the latest Islamic suicide bomber, barely old enough to grow facial hair, and the Kamikaze pilots from WWII. I draw attention to the two because they are similar in design in that they both die for their cause or belief system. What struck me right away was the young Palestinian suicide bomber, Sami Omar. Clad in ceremonial garb in front of the word “god” written behind him, he has a lost and soulless look defined not only by his face but reinforced by his eyes. He has the look of someone that has been told what he is doing is right but still has some reservation in completing the task. More talk of virgins and everlasting life had to have followed this photo. He just doesn’t look convinced that strapping bombs to himself and dying in the name of his god is that great of an idea. Compare and contrast the video of the Palestinian suicide bomber with the Japanese suicide bombers of WWII. These pilots didn’t have to be suckered in with promises of n...

17 APRIL 2005 I have duty today and the 0800-1200 watch. Still waiting on my Small Arms Supervisor Card to get signed off by the Captain so I can stand Duty Chief. He has had my card for 2 weeks. One of my units decided to fry itself. I was in Sonar and saw something challenging my peripheral vision. I looked out the forward door of sonar and saw every submariner’s worst fear- smoke. This wasn’t the usual light smoke wisp so common in that area of the boat. It was white billowing smoke and it was headed my way. As I was running to the unit and hollering “Smoke in CSES! Smoke in CSES!” a fellow sonarman popped out from around the corner, his eyes as big as mine. He was the Duty Chief and started to run to the control room to carry out the initial actions for this casualty. I made the report on the 4MC, a circuit used to report casualties, and headed to the control room also. As the Duty Chief he called the casualty away on our general announcement circuit and the boat sprang into action...

One thing that sea duty restricts but shore duty allows for is time off. The duty-free weekends are plentiful and calls to come to work are almost non-existent. I took the fam to North Shore Saturday for some beach time and a cookout. We arrived earlier than normal and I was starting to worry about the status of the beach; we had passed a small sign posted next to a beach access point that had the word “sewage” on it. The lady at the mini-mart told my wife that there was in fact a sewage spill, more like a slick from the looks of it, but that the Department of Health said the bacteria levels were ok in this small stretch of beach but that no locals would be found in the water. She also said if you do get in the water to drink 2 gallons of orange juice to ward off any potential infections. Two gallons? What if I just drank 1.8 gallons, would that be ok? These are the same people who told me to feed my kid poi to get him up to speed on the age/weight chart. We had the cookout and built s...

12 APRIL 2005 - Got relieved at 0200 this morning and was up for a fire drill at ~0730; for once they started the drill sets on time. - Had the 1130-1530 watch. Absolutely nothing going on in sonar. Half of it is down for the nuke drills coming up. - Sonar is acting funny after the nuke drills, something about losing power without notice- for ump-teenth time. When will these fuckers learn you can't just cut power to a multi-million dollar sonar system and not fry components. I bet they don't just pull the plug on their computers at home to turn them off. If the taxpayers knew how much money they spent on all the sonar systems in the submarine force because of this ridiculousness they would beat every C.O. with a rubber hose on sight. - Well, it seems the powers that be can't keep the egg off their face. Stressing the shit out of the crew and the shipboard equipment has now resulted in a real fire. There was just a 1MC announcement from the C.O. about whether or not we are g...

I don't know how the Pysical Readiness Tests (PRT) work in other branches of the military but Navy's PRT program is truly a joke. I have to say that sailors, when compared to Army or Marines, are grossly out of shape. If you have any doubts just look at how many overweight Chiefs there are. Even Hollywood captured the true image of a lot of sailors. In Crimson Tide the Chief of the Boat (COB) was a fat fuck that could barely fit in his seat on the bus as he barked out orders for some seaman do start doing pushups in the aisle, which by the way is a load of crap. In the real submarine force that seaman would have told the COB to go shit in a hat and that is only if the COB was gay enough to pull something like that in the first place. But I digress. On submarines, the PRT program is pitted against the healthy lifestyle required to pass its minimum requirements. These requirements are a function of age and the older you get the less you have to do. I have talked to many an Army s...

11 April 2005 The LOUISVILLE has been inport now after a month long underway to and from San Diego- well, the waters off of San Diego including the harbor, but not one foot on dry land even after pulling intot he harbor 3 times to bring on extra people, food, and parts. Bastards. 0700 Today we had to be on the boat at 0500 so that we could get underway at 0900. Gotta love that no-sleep thing before an underway. I am writing this part as I sit here at Officer/LPO call listtening to the Captain try to explain to us what a good deal it is to get this underway in.. instead of spening it with our families with an upcoming 6 month deployment? 1030 Ship is underway and the maneuvering watch has been secured. I came down from topside in to the belly of tHe beast but not before I got my last breath of air, free from chemicals and made by Mother Nature, not by the Father of the Oxygen Generator. Yet again, my section takes the normal watch and I get to bob around on the surface until we submer...

There are some new photos of the surface of Mars. I am so fascinated by this red planet and the prospects of it supporting life, or more specifically, human life. Here is a slideshow of the most recent event and for all you Earth-is-flat/Fake moonlanding conspires you'll be pleased to know that some of the photos look like parts of the U.S. Southwest. Attention NASA: If you need a body to travel to Mars (I hear it only takes about 6 months or so to get there) I will be happy to offer my services. I think that 18+ years on submarines more than qualifies me for the trip.

It has been a few days since I have posted anything, party because I have been on other blogs giving my two cents, but also because I am working on a segment I will call "This day last year". I was stationed on the USS LOUISVILLE and I a kept meticulous journal, mainly for my upcoming book when I retire, but also to keep track of all the fuck jobs I got throughout my career. It seems the human mind is very resilient to psychological pain and tends to forget the bad stuff, especially when it comes to submarine life. I aspire to write a no-shit account of my Navy career through the eyes of a submariner- stuff that Tom Clancy only bullshits about and has no real idea of how things really work on a boat. So, anyway, I will kick off this project tomorrow. I am working on a recount of an underway last March where we were gone for the entire month, nice of them to do that to us right before we deployed for 6 months, and did some exercises off of San Diego.

This is the statement from the Dark Sith Lord Vader as he crushes the trachea of an incompetent Imperial Officer that I would have liked, at least in some kind of analogous circumstance, have seen happen to Congressperson McKinney when she apologized today after her week long rant of racial profiling and trying to smokescreen her childish actions. Instead, I'll settle for her non-reelection next term.

Rep. Cynthia McKinney has been in the news for a while now after she threw her cell phone at an officer who would not let her enter the Capitol building with her identification. There are 2 things wrong with that. Number one, you don't throw shit at people. Number two, bring your freakin I.D. with you, asshole. I work on a military base and there is absolutely no reason for htem to admit anyone onto base with out their miltitary I.D. AAMOF, I was pulled into the search area by an officer whom I had met a few days earlier. She asked for my I.D. driver's license, insurance, registration, and safety inspection. I am quite sure that I would have been refused access to base if I had been lacking any one of those items. This woman works in a government building and her defense for not having her credentials is that the officer should have recognized her. Say, what? Even if that is true, it is a requirement to have identification to enter that bilding. Period. Instead of just acceptin...

After 42 consecutive days of rain, flash floods, mudslides, and such this weekend finally gave a little reprieve. I packed the family up and we headed to Hickam beach. We had barely gotten our feet wet and started to feel the warm sun when the lifeguards kicked everybody off the beach because of the a thunderstorm warning. I had seen lightning and heard thunder in the mountains as we arrived at the beach but didn't think much of it- it looked like it was going to be just a typical afternoon mauka shower. We ate at the Sand Bar and Grill next to the beach and waited for the rain to hit. It never did. People were back on the beach and if we had brought another water proof diaper for the bambino we would have given it another shot. But I had an extended belly from the kalua pork sandwich I just woofed down. I'm certainly not having a pity party here or ask for any sympathy- I live in Hawaii for crying out loud and beach-going is a daily event at least on some part of the island. B...

After all the hype from this years Oscars I am finally getting around to my NetFlix queue of the movies. Last night my wife and I saw Walk the Line and I must say that I was entertained but not really that impressed. I am a big fan of Johhny Cash and Juaquin Pheonix played him very well, he sounded more like Johnny Cash than Reese Witherspoon sounded like June Carter, but the movie wasn't Oscar worthy in my opinion. It was drawn out in some areas and didn't keep my attention. Not a bad movie, just not as entertaining as Episode 5 - or any of the Star Wars Quintilogy - or as my first Oscar movie review of Crash . Definately not worthy enough to make an illegal copy of because I just woulnd't want to to see it more than once.