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March 1, 2006

Saddam's Confession

After all this time in court Saddam has caved in and finally admitted just how much of a despotic asshole he really is. The mass graves in Northern Iraq, the weapons of mass destruction, the torture dungeons just couldn't hold up to the startling confession that came from the ousted dictator's lips this morning at his hearing.

He ordered "the destruction of orchards as a reprisal for an assassination bid in a Shiite town."

Yeah baby! Did you hear that? Straight from the horse's ass. So I submit to all you nay-sayers that democracy has taken a hold in Iraq as evidenced by this compelling court drama unfolding as we speak.

Go fuck yourself Judge Judy!

It seems Saddam has caved even more as he confesses that he "signed orders leading to the execution of dozens of Shi'ites in the 1980s but said he was acting within the law as Iraq's president."

Now, we're getting somewhere.

Even these harsh allegations could not stand up to Saddam's solid defense from his own lips: "Where is the crime?"

Hang in there buddy. Hell is preparing a special place for you.

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