August 1, 2006
YO! MTV Sucks!
Can you believe MTV is 25 years old today? I was 11 when Video Killed the Radio Star was first watched by only a handful of viewers in Jersey, but when I was in high school I remember Madonna and Michael Jackson admonished parents to get MTV to appease their demanding children.
I think my parents still fought off my requests so I had to go to friends' houses to see the first mini-movie with Jackson showing off the moonwalk- and anyone that was able to stand on two feet tried to imitate that dance move. The living room at Paula Hartsfield's house was packed as we watched ghouls chase Jackson's girlfriend for 14 minutes.
Madonna. How many guys wished they were the object of her attention; how many girls dressed like a slut to imitate her? Like a Virgin, Material Girl, and the myriad of bilingual songs with lyrics that foretold the impending immigration problem (and not to mention the fame the sacrilegious name received outside of Sunday Mass), Madonna was one of many on a selective list who slept her way to the top and nobody seemed to care.
Everyone knew who Kurt Loder was and we waited patiently through the 'news', of which we could care less, so that we could get back to videos. Dire Straits use of computer animation in Money For Nothing was not only an inspiration to up-and-coming computer geeks everywhere but also to all the rock star hopefuls hoping to get their "chicks for free".
Martha Quinn's appearance, for me, signified that MTV was starting to do more than just play videos. Although Quinn wasn't hard to look at, with frequent thoughts of being her boy toy, I just wanted to watch videos.
I joined the Navy in 1987 and I remember watching MTV at the Sailor Center (when I would ace one of the many tests we had to take) and the Whitesnake video was always on. Here I Go Again , showing Tawny Kitaen slinking all over 2 Jaguars, made the female deprived sailors in boot camp even more sexually frustrated.
I don't know when it happened but my disinterest in MTV grew in the early 90's to the point where I despised watching the show- probably when the rap scene hit and MTV was shoving this new and obnoxious style of music down viewers' throats. MTV then realized that the younger viewers wanted to see more than videos so a whole slew of non music related shows popped up, each one appealing to a younger and younger crowd as the years passed.
MTV probably won't even mention their birthday today. MTV reminds me of women who always lie about their age, hoping to fool people into believing they are younger than their driver's license says they are. MTV keeps waving it's hand around like a Jedi using the old mind trick, "We are still hip. This the programming you are looking for", but they can't fool me or the people old enough to remember when MTV really was the hippest thing on television.