Aloha Dump

It appears that my eagerness for racial profiling at airports really doesn't matter since we can't even rely on people to check the dates on an expired Visa. The school administrator who arranged for a taxi to take Umar back to the airport told reporters the taxi was the end of their responsibility for the Nigerian who came to Yemen to learn Arabic. To learn Arabic? Of course in hindsight that might have raised some flags but we can't investigate everyone who wants to learn a language heavily reliant on the sounds of phlegm lodged in the back of the throat. Updating my original post with this new information has further solidified my resolve (from 2001) that we cannot rely on anyone else in the world to look after our interests of national security. Yemen should be punished for allowing this terrorist to leave their country, either by their own negligence or for aiding  Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab . Uh oh, did I just start a conspiracy theory? *Cue intense ...

I bet Tiger Woods is glad the attempted Northwest Airlines flight 253 to Detroit made the headlines- maybe it will take the heat off him for a while. I am a little pissed, however, at the people who let  Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab get on the damn plane in the first place. All the signs were there that this extremist lunatic should not be outside a cemetery let alone an airplane. Let's list them: 1. He was on a terrorist watch list. 2. His own father  warned U.S. officials. 3. He probably looks similar to this asshole who tried to blow up an airplane with a shoe bomb back in 2001. Richard Reid- Now convicted of 9 charges  and Al Qaeda trained. Translation: He will sit in prison for the rest of his life as a drain on our tax system, much like unwed teenage mothers except Reid can't get knocked up when the boys come-a-callin'. I would like to address the previous points above and why we dodged a bullet with this latest attempt ...

While listening to the Christmas segment for this show I heard Dora's grating voice talking to Santa. I went to the television when I heard the singing and once again realized how much this show sucks. Up yours Nickelodeon. Santa Claus is not a Latino and he does not sing Feliz Navidad. He is a fat white guy with Type 2 diabetes and red cheeks. I know this is true because I saw him at the mall.

Why is is ok for all these horny 30-40 year olds to swoon over the 17 year-old werewolf clown from this pseudo vampire gagger flick but when a man makes a comment about Hanna Montana he is labeled a pervert? I can't wait to hear how these "werewolves" act, especially since in the Twilight series the "vampires" sparkle like fairies when sunlight touches their skin. I am guessing this Latino wolf pack does the Mexican hat dance during a full moon while decorating themselves with gaudy silver jewelry.

Chicago lost the bid for the 2016 Olympics and now they are losing Chicago based show The Oprah Winfrey Show. The one spiritual icon housewives have turned to for the last 24 years for all their news, what to buy, what to wear, who to show pity towards and who to despise and, last but not least, what the fuck book to read. Any bets on how long it will take the Obama's to comment? I echo Oprah's feelings toward her show- 25 feels right. I would have liked 25 months and as the show gained traction Oprah's grasp of reality and of the real world started to slip. I do appreciate her strained empathy towards the little people who kept her at the top of the Who's Who Amongst Fat Black Women Making Bank list. Stedman Graham is probably kicking his own nuts at the thought of not trying to tie the knot sooner. You have 18 months America. Stock up on the bon bons and get that DVR in hot standby- she might be starting the Oprah Winfrey Network. I shit you not. 24/7 of Oprah kiss...

So long, asshole. Say hi to Saddam for me. My only regret, much to the despair of capital punishment opposition, is two-fold: 1) It took 7 years to finally execute this human detritus 2) He wasn't beaten to within an inch of his life and then given a slow-drip IV of Clorox. Lethal injection was too mild- an injection of Twinkie filling comes to mind. People at the execution were showing all kinds of emotion and some just wanted him to take responsibility for his actions and show a little regret. I think that is too much to ask from someone who takes the time to mastermind and carry out a sniping spree. Why did he do it? Because he is a crazy, psychotic fuck head. Most people who carry out these types of crimes fall into this category. Psychologists and other soft science practitioners will try to find out why people commit senseless crimes like this, but they never will. Social neglect, depression, getting felt up by that creepy Unlce will all be reasons that su...

This 20 minute mini movie is a great ad for milk. Yep, milk. Dude reminds me of Zaphod Beeblebrox. Click on the title to get to the link. ...

I debated on whether to commemorate this day by showing all the things Obama promised us a year ago when he took office or by writing about the jackass I followed today with a console DVD player in his car. I went with the latter only because it is just too easy to show how much of a turd this president has turned out to be. I rolled up behind a small car tonight on my way home and, since the new time change now has my evening commute in the dark, it was very easy to see the movie playing in this guy's car- on his front dash console. Because of the narrow road and the logging trucks next to me I could not get around this car and had to wait at every light until he realized the signal had turned green and we could all proceed. I started thinking about that in excessive detail: 20+ people had to wait to proceed through the light until this douche weasel took the time to look up from watching a movie in his car. Not only was it frustrating at the...

I was in Dayton when the Balloon Boy hysteria hit and I just read caught up on the events leading up to today. This is a crock of shit story and I think the parents definitely have something fishy going on. What kind of a sicko launches a Roswell inspired balloon into the air and then tells the world a little boy is inside? Even more disturbing are the people in the balloon's flight path who told reporters they thought they saw something fall out of the carriage- obvious to us now that they were just trying to get their faces on television. I think the family is hosed. The little kid, whose name is Falcon and should have a soccer ball thrown at his head for his entire Elementary learning recess periods, let the air out of the balloon when he turned to his dad during a CNN interview Thursday night and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place. From the mouth of babes. I have as much inte...

Obama recently won the Nobel Peace Prize and the world is patting us on the back while internally Americans are ripping each other apart. The announcement from the Norwegian Nobel Committee caught the media off guard and non stop coverage ensued. There are definitely mixed feelings about the award and frankly, I couldn't care less. That award hit rock bottom for me when Yasser Arafat claimed 1/3 of the honor in 1994.  There are a few key arguments in the blogosphere that have been made about the award.  1) Obama was put in for the award less than 2 weeks into his term as president. I don't know if this is true however, it is plausible. This administration seems like it is building a history of "getting something for not really doing anything". It falls along the same lines as when all the little kids receieve an award instead of just the winners of the soccer game. 2) The NNC is full of left ...

A very large American manufacturer and its equally large Japanese competitor decided to hold a canoe race down the Detroit River, with the winner securing bragging rights for the following year. Both teams were given 30 days to develop their strategy and prepare their teams to reach peak performance before the race. On the big day, Team Japan won by a mile. Team America, very discouraged and disappointed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A canoe steering committee of senior managers was formed to investigate the root cause and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that Team Japan had eight people rowing and one person steering, while Team America had eight people steering and one person rowing. Unsatisfied with the internal conclusions and feeling that a deeper study was in order, Team America's management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. After considerable time and great expense, they...

When you pull in to San Diego, a trip south of the border is a must. I saw many street side "zebras" many years ago during an overnight romp in TJ- poor burros were painted and then laden with boxes of chicklets. Here is a story about a Gaza zoo who's owners used hair dye and masking tape to turn a donkey into a make shift zebra. WHy would this crazy Palestinian do such a thing? His reasons are twofold: First: "The first reason so that the children would see a striped donkey and think zebra and then they might feel like they saw a new animal today." OK, so you wanted to trick the children and lied by telling them that this abomination is a zebra. Second: "The second reason is because it is difficult to get a striped donkey because it is very expensive and all the animals we get we smuggle them inside." I don't see what the problem is. Hamas has been smuggling firearms, RPG's, mortars, grenades and mines using underground tunnels for ...

It appears Obama is pretty shaken up about it. I read the decision by the Olympic committee to dump Chicago in the first round. Watching the Obamas try and convince the committee to come to the U.S. was absolutely pathetic. That meeting was supposed to be about money, logistics and convincing the committee that Chicago could handle the swarm of people from around the world, not about having to listen to the First Lady cry like a Homecoming Queen as she brought up her childhood. Lame, lame, lame. In exceptionally good taste was the avenue in which the Obamas took to deliver their speeches to the 106 member Olympic Committee. The failed trip was paid for by our tax dollars. I think that the Obamas are quit upset at this failure because it is so 'in their face'- there is no body else to blame but themselves, no scape goat this time. He has failed many times but the media and his aids have always had an excuse to bail him out. Oh, they are all over this one but nobody is buyin...

For some reason I have felt very civic minded the last few weeks and after reading an article on the front page of Yahoo, More school: Obama would curtail summer vacation , I felt that I had to send a letter to the President. Obama has managed to piss off adults with his poorly planned and poorly executed programs over the last 9 months, but now he is going to piss off children, the future voter base of this nation. Personally, however, I agree with his plan. Here is my letter. -------------------------------------- Mr President, Yahoo! recently published an article concerning your ideas to get American children on par in education by lengthening the amount of time they are in school and shortening their summer breaks. I couldn't agree more. How do you propose to implement this new plan? I live in CA and I have 4 children, 3 of whom are in school. Our schools have no money to pay teachers and the furlough days cut into the education our children receive. In fact, Californ...

If you would like to read some of the most ignorant, uninformed and unmoderated dialogue on the Internet then please, go visit Craigslist Politics forums. I only read the SFO metro and Sacramento boards but I would imagine the rest of the country has just as useless, racist and bigoted posts. And please, do not respond to these curiosities of natural selection because you will just get even more angry.

As I was reading about Obama's testicles finally dropping long enough to tell the anti-American world that they will be on their own from now on, I came across the story of a kindly Census worker, Bill Sparkman, who was found hanged to death in a Kentucky cemetery. How random is that? The police do not know if Sparkman was going door-to-door for work and came across some ignorant, backwards-ass, inbred hillbillies who misinterpreted Federal Census worker as 'revenuer' and killed him, or if it was perhaps some ignorant, backwards-ass, inbred hillbilly drug users who got scared and killed him. Either of these two scenarios would work as Sparkman had "FED" written in black Sharpie across his chest and his badge was taped to his body. Judgement Day just can't come quick enough for some people. I hope the culprits are found and made to endure a very lengthy and costly trial courtesy of the American taxpayers. And then, if convicted, made to live the rest of the...

There has been significant study over the course of many decades trying to figure out why, statistically speaking, children born in the winter months have harder lives than those born in warm months. Believe it or not, it took a couple of economists to shed light on this phenomenon. Here is the link: The Plight of Winter Babies. Here is my Reader's Digest Condensed version: Babies concieved in the back seat of a car on Prom night will have shittier lives compared to babies conceived under the covers in a warm bed on a cold winter's night. Bow chicka mow wow...

Governor Schwarzennegger, I am writing to show my support and concerns for the Bill 962 that was passed on September 11, but awaits your signature to become law. I fully support the concept of full identity disclosure when buying ammunition and/or fire arms, however it seems that the law abiding citizens always suffer when strict laws are enforced. Tight restrictions do not seem to affect criminals. The only issue I have with Bill 962 is the requirement for an employee to have face to face contact with the purchaser for the ammunition. "Prohibit the retail sale, the offer for sale or the display of handgun ammunition in a manner that allows ammunition to be accessible to a purchaser without assistance of a vendor or employee." Retail stores like Wal-Mart have the ammunition under glass but small stores and specialized firearm and ammunition retailers have the ammunition on shelves. The face to face contact occurs at the counter when the purchaser pays for the produc...

September 9, 2005 I have the midwatch now and it is going pretty slow. I had an interesting dream oncoming about zombies. I was beating them down with a tomahawk and a baseball bat. I was really kicking some zombie ass until I was awakened by someone yelling at Zach to get up for his training. Lower level berthing is just too small for people to be yelling like that. I got up about an hour later because I couldn’t fall back asleep. Assholes. We have been underway from Guam a month now. Seems longer. We are running low on yeast so bread and pizza will probably be rationed very soon. How can the cooks be so stupid and not pack 90 days of yeast like they are supposed to? Yeah, rhetorical questions suck, I know. I have noticed throughout my career that the cooks can consistently do a shitty job with little repercussion. The rest of us suffer and it goes unnoticed. Shitbirds. So Hanthorn’s ass zit still hasn’t popped and he won’t stop complaining about it. Woydziak and I offered to la...

During a televised speech to Congress in which Obama was discussing his new health care reform, South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson yelled out, "You lie!" when Obama stated that illegal immigrants will not be covered by the new plan. I'm glad that Wilson got that off his chest and expressed what millions also feel about this health care joke that this administration is trying to force feed the American public. Don't get me wrong, the system we have now doesn't suit everyone and thousands have no coverage. People complain about Medicare (health care for people 65 and older) and Medicaid (healthcare for people with low income) and how broke the system is and that something needs to be done quickly before they pull the plug on Grandma. I feel compelled to remind people that Medicare/Medicaid are government programs; if the government has jacked these 2 important programs up then what makes you think the Obama plan will be any better? Reagan said it best: But I d...

I recently acquired an Eagles discography which has every song they did from 1980 to the present. There are a lot of 'best of' albums in the list which bear a lot repetition but I do not mind burning up the disk space. I was very interested in finding the a cappella song Eagles performed called Seven Bridges Road. To my surprise, it is very hard to find. Wikipedia: The song was recorded live by Eagles for their Eagles Live album in 1980; the single, b/w a live version of The Long Run, reached #21 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. (A version of this recording remastered for DTS appears as a DTS-only bonus track on the DVD version of Eagles' Hell Freezes Over reunion concert video.) However, Eagles never recorded or released a studio cut of the tune. "Seven Bridges Road" is the title of a song written by Steve Young that he recorded in 1969 for his Rock Salt & Nails album. The definitive version is the cover recorded by Eagles in 1980 which still receives significa...

Apparently, BP has found a billion barrel oil reserve in the Gulf of Mexico. How conveeeeeeeeeeeeeeenient....

West Pac 1999 USS Los Angeles (SSN 688) July 1 – December 29, 1999 I found another green flip notebook this weekend affectionately referred to as a pocket brain. I kept a pocket brain with me all the time to keep notes and to jot down ideas etc. I found one from WestPac 1999, a few deployments before I started keeping an actual journal, complete with the obligatory profane statement on the side, “Eat Shit”. After reading the little notebook in its entirety it was no longer a mystery as to why someone wrote it. We all knew this deployment was doomed when we had to return to port on a Saturday, just 2 days after we cast off all lines and left Pearl Harbor. Let me back up and briefly discuss why leaving on July 1st is a shitty thing to do in the first place, a concept many crew members tried to get across to our sub par Captain. My explanation would have been: “Because 3 days later is Independence Day, asshole.” Leaving so close to July 4th was a metaphorical kick to the crew morale...

I am a pack rat. A big fat sentimental pack rat. Two 60 quart Rubbermaid bins, stacked in my garage and a continuing eye-sore to my wife, are testament to my obsession to save anything with just an ounce of nostalgia- and those bins are just my Navy crap (that I can fit into those bins). I rummaged around in 2 other bins today to try and locate a network interface card for my new motherboard and failed. I probably threw it out years ago thinking I would never need it. I did come across an old "pocket brain" from my early military career with some interesting tidbits. In the spirit of nostalgic, crusty sea stories, I share its contents with both of my readers. The first page is a countdown calendar from NorPac 1992. For those of you not hip to Navy lingo a NorPac is a Northern Pacific Special Operation (SpecOp). Yes, I know, the acronyms are unbearable at times. These NorPacs were Pearl to Pearl runs, i.e. no liberty ports, no stops, just leave Pearl Harbor and then return ab...

Senator Edward Kennedy from Massachusetts passed today from brain cancer, the first Kennedy in a while to actually die from natural causes, and I have mixed feelings about his passing. I really tried to like the guy over the last few decades but there was just something about him that I could never really warm up to. It isn’t the fact that he hauled ass from his car accident in 1969, leaving his mistress for dead. That happened a few months before my birth and when the Apollo astronauts were on their way to the Moon, or in the middle of filming the event if you are a conspiracy theorist douche. It is reprehensible that he got off solely because he is a Kennedy, but having a powerful last name and a shitload of money has always been the “Get out of Jail Free” card. I checked his voting record and although he has missed 97% of the votes in the current Congress he pretty much voted along party lines most of his career. The last time he voted was 4/2/2009 and he has only casted 8 votes thi...

There was a fight across the street from my house, much like the fights I used to see outside my lanai off of Salt Lake Blvd. in Honolulu. This one was different though- I am at ground level now and do not have the safety of elevation and discretion when it comes time for me to dispense vigilante justice at these hoodlums. I remember many a night (morning?) when I was awakened by the mischief of locals who had no future, no life to speak of and nothing to do but get in trouble. They would drive/walk/skateboard up and down the street at all hours causing trouble. It was entertaining at first, watching thugs get the piss beat out of them and, if I was lucky, hauled off to jail if Honolulu's finest got there in time. But it gets old constantly being shaken out of a deep sleep to screaming female teens who are yelling at their newly informed father of the news, assholes who like to ride around screaming for no other reason than to piss people off, or more than anything else ride around...

In a nutshell: "H.R. 3200 is a massive reordering of America’s health care services with a heavy bias toward injecting the government’s judgment in place of doctors, installing bureaucratic control in place of patient discretion and enacting significant tax increases in hopes of stemming the deficit busting costs of the new programs." Here is a great breakdown of the current revision of H.R. 3200 , a small segment of Obamacare, by Patients First. The full text of H.R. 3200 can be found by clicking the link.

It appears that some members of our government are having a momentary lapse of reason and are admonishing Obama to slow down and tackle one thing at a time. Senator Joe Lieberman must have caught Ben Stein's piece.

I don't know whether this is funny or sad, but while Googling my blog I came across a cake with the same name. Aloha Dump Cake

I will never admit to being a Star Trek purist but I watched the television show as a kid and all the movies. I don't really care for The Next Generation and all the spin offs, but they are not that bad to watch. I rarely see movies in the theatre and prefer to sit in my own home and wear whatever I want, all the while eating my own cheapy Scooby Snacks. I really liked the new Star Trek movie. I thought the movie was cleverly made and I knew they would not be able to go through the "prequel" without having a few nostalgic scenes with some original cast members. The only one that is really out there anymore is William Shatner as the Priceline Negotiator. Stupid commercials but it's Kirk, dammit. By the way, if you have never seen the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner you are really missing out. There was one thing that took me a while to get over and that was seeing Zachary Quinto as a young, brilliant Spock. I am a huge Heroes fan and it just seemed eirie to see...